I had let Moe's negativity eat at me when I shouldn't have. At times, I found myself thinking about the things he'd said, and anger would well up inside me. I didn't want to be angry with Moe. I needed to understand him. He had told me in the beginning he was cynical and a bit sarcastic... but had left out pessimistic. Still, despite that, I liked Moe.

Me: "As to your worrying, and not being sure "this" is so little (whatever "this" is suppose to mean)... I think you're making more out "this" than there is." I felt he was reading into my thoughts and feelings. The whole situation seemed as if it had gotten way out of hand. I think Moe felt that way too.

Moe: "Sometimes I think that our meeting was a little rushed. The ten days together, off and on, may have made us more or less receptive, than slow and sure. But, that is where the distance thing comes in and I think we played it the best way we could have."

Maybe our meeting did seem rushed. I did pray and ask God to open the doors that needed to be opened and to close those that needed to be closed. The doors opened, and very quickly, so I had to believe that what was done, happened according to Gods correct sense of timing, which sometimes doesn't make sense to us. I began to doubt my own faith, thinking that maybe God didn't have a hand in our meeting. But, with all Moe went through in getting a reasonably priced airline ticket at the last possible minute, it had felt like a miracle, an answer to a prayer.

My expectations may have gotten in the way. I was certain, before meeting, that because Moe and I had such a good rapport online and on the phone, that it wouldn't be any different in person. At a distance, we seemed to have much in common, but suddenly, upon meeting, the similarities seemed to be fading. I tended to look for the positive in all situations, Moe, the negative. And that difference alone seemed to be big enough to throw a wrench, in our otherwise, excellent communication. I suggested to him that we keep our relationship on the email level.

Moe: "Apparently you thought all I was doing was dredging up all the negitive things and that it was a huge thing to me. Never once did I say that our differences were so hughly important that I couldn't handle it, or that it would impede our relationship, or friendship, as it is. It came across badly in black and white. So, email buddies is okay with me... or whatever you want to call it. Don't be to pissed off and never write back. I still like ya. CYA cutie."

Moe left town for ten days of job training. No computer access, but we could talk by phone. The break in our communication was much needed, well, for me anyway. I wanted time to sort things out, put things in perspective, without Moe being readily accessible. This was my opportunity to digest our suddenly strained communication.