I have got to go
I am falling apart more and more
And I don't know
When these feelings began to show
But I won't yell
I won't let my anger show
Just out the door
Cause, you and I, are
Killing me
Breaking me down
For all to see�
I just can't stand
To put my hand upon that door
So damn hard
Can't take my eyes from off the floor
But I won't cry
And I won't let you see me now
Just out the door
Because...
You
And I
Are killing me
Breaking me
Down for all to see
I need to know
If you were me
Would you give up?
Would you just leave?
I know I messed up
And it breaks me
Everyday
But I love you
So damn much
I just can't find the door
You're killing me
Killing me
I'm killing me
We
Are killing me
-Ross Ennis
wasting the day away
wondering if I'll ever get free
alone here with my thoughts
and nothing else to think about.
mind working at night
body asleep all day
only myself to question and answer to.
none available at this hour but
color tubes and sound to sustain you.
body hurting from stillness
mind restless for body
squeezing my heart
draining my soul
down their tiny hole.
exhausted from sleep
tired of motionless
clawing for connection.
tearing at my heart
needing you
not wanting to
unable to pursue
heart stinging with memories
body singing the feeling
days move it all away.
the space you filled up is vacant again
and up for rent.
i need the struggle to survive
needing you to need me still
now all alone without meanin
So long now
seems I've been here
alone so much that i forget
I am not the only one.
Everything that I still know
can crowd around me
and lift me up to see the sun.
I dream of angels
all these sleepless nights
but it's been so long
since their light has graced my eyes.
So take me now
and lift me up.
Take this weight from off my back.
Fly me away
Fly me away
So long now
but still you're here,
and I'm feeling you
shining behind my eyes.
You are in me, always with me
you crowd around me.
You're so beautiful I cry.
The dream is over
now I can begin my life.
But it's been so long
since the sun has seen my face.
So take me now
and lift me up.
Take this weight from off my back.
Take me now
� Lift me up
� Fly me...
� Away
-Ross Ennis
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Smile obligingly
as you walk through the room,
hating the syrupy sweet greetings
and polite conversation.
I wouldn't mind it if it was real
exchanges among actual friends,
but instead you try to make
yourself look small and busy,
wishing a part of
the cliques who are content,
to chat together all night long
and leave you to your
continual drink refillings
and awkward movement
through unfamiliar territory.
if it didn't happen so often
leaving me no option but to
blame myself
and feel the deep wrench at my heart
that eats away at me
even in its familiarity
You've made me give up
no longer worth the effort
try and try again
becomes meaningless and unproductive
we are strong creatures
but one can only bear so much
before it retreats into its shell
no prodding can bring it out again
Bathed in warm sun
I feel better
at least for now
I couldn't say all I wanted
the blank screen on the other end
stops my rambling
I can't let go of
the person who came closest
to knowing me like I needed
Lost in your own insecurities
you were unable
or unwilling
to see beyond your heartache
In Broad Daylight
