Bad cop, no donut!
"Hey, aren't you one of the village people?" "Wait a second officer, let me put my beer down......" Are popular phrases used when refering to a cop. "Oink oink" and "Would you like a donut" are some other favorite's of mine. I am in almost continuous contact with the cops and I have come to realize that they are all corrupt and probably hate my family right now (they are over almost every other weekend for stupid things like food fights....what's up with that??) One time they came and said "4104, it appears there has been a food fight." It was pretty sad. And to top it off, my dad was blaming it all on my brother.... even though he was there! All in all cops are pretty sad people for thinking that they are "special" because they get to arrest people and give out parking tickets.
Napster sucks
Napster, napster, napster. What have we, the public done to deserve such crappy service? Is this really file sharing? I don't see anyone sharing files! The downloads are long and they are blocking files. Everyone hates it now!
Animal Wrongness
Here are some pictures that we found at Rotten.com. They're pretty funny.......some of them are just wrong though........ a dog and a racoon......ewwwww!
The Internet
"Damn this stupid sonuva...." The connection speeds of the internet suck! At least at my dad's house because he's too cheap to get freaking cable! It takes somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes just to connect to the internet and then I have to wait for even longer for the page to load! And there is nothing good on the internet.....even if there is, I'm never going to find it! All it is is pornographic sites anyways..... for example, we typed in www.rogersvideo.com, thinking it would take us to the video site. Of course, it wasn't Roger's Video (the movie store) it was literally Roger's Video. We were surprised and rather alarmed at this and decided then and there that the internet sucks!
Marijuana
All around you see people advertising marijuana. Rappers, bums and the internet. The media portrays marijuana as "glamorous". Being as my name is Johnny Potsmoker, I might have the occasional marijuana cigarette, but then I get hungry.
My Father's House
My Dad lives in a hole. I swear that he looked for the crappiest house he could find and decided to live there. The neighbourhood sucks, the people are mean, the kids are hoodlums and some kid named Anne Marie trys to hang out with us. Back to the house. The carpets are grey (once pink) the bathroom is tiny. We have a futon covered in dog hair, the dishes are just gross, and the toilet seat is crusty and the towels smell like crap. I would not wish this house on anyone!!(and my dog just crapped on the floor)
Gambling
Gambling is a terribly adictive sport. For example, my sister is addicted to playing dice. One day,my brother asked us all if we wanted to play dice, I, a non gambling person refused. Unfortunately, my sister didn't. After a long 2 minutes she already owed my brother 24 dollars and her soul!! Well, a compassionate person like my brother thought it might be funny if she ate the piece of paper that said he owned her soul(like on The Simpson's). My sister, readily agreed. Well, let's just say she won't be gambling again for at least a week. I guess my point is, gambling is addictive and fun at the same time!(thus the slot machine and the video poker)
Jerry Springer
I was casually flicking channels late one night when I realized that the funniest show on TV was no longer on at it's regular time. I was shocked and disappointed........ how could Jerry Springer betray his faithful trailer park trash fans by changing the time that his show was on! I, thinking that it would be on no later than 3:00, stayed up waiting for it to come on....well, I was wrong!! The stupid s.o.b changed his time completely!! I'm not even sure if I can see it unless I get digital cable. This I am rather saddened by. I think that the masses should rise together to form a union........ a union that will control the time of day that all trashy talk shows are on!! WE WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!
* note....I was on something when I wrote this so don't take it seriously!!
Chat Rooms
I recently payed a visit to my local chat room to find to my surprise that it was full of a bunch of losers!!! I should have known...... I mean people actually think that they can find someone that they can "hook up with". I think this is pretty stupid being as it's an internet chat room and anyone can lie about how they look or their age for that matter!! And people that think they're hackers.....don't get me started on that!! They all think that they can hack into your computer and get your IP address.....but they can't!! I was in a |
