By: paqi
Let's find out. Just take this handy quiz.
Get a pice af paper to write down your answers.
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First portion: True/false
1. I am in band.
2. I spend more time at school in the band room than anywhere else.
3. I dream about band.
4. All my friends are in band.
5. My friends and I like to joke about band.
Give yourself one point for each true answer, but bear in mind that this is just the preliminary round.
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Second portion: Which of the following do you find funny?
1. Drummers trying to form a cohesive train of thought.
2. Watching someone conduct (more often known as some ridiculous dance gone awry).
3. Calling marchers to attention, starting a game of "Simon says," then when they follow your instructions, screaming, "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO MOVE AT ATTENTION!!" (credit Becca THE alto clarinetist)
4. Auditions (beforehand).
5. Auditions (afterward).
6. Trombonists' antics, but not their jokes.
7. Shakos.
8. Weasels.
9. Big puddles of spit.
10. Teasing freshmen.
11. That 'american pie' joke ("and one time, at band camp...")
If you thought everything was funny, give yourself five points. If you thought everything but 4, 9 and 11 was funny, give yourself 10 points. If you thought everything but 4 and 6 (i.e. you LIKE trombonist's jokes) was funny, you're probably a trombonist, so only one point. If you thought nothing was funny, just skip the rest of the test and go on to serious stuff. If you thought everything but 3, 4, 9, 10 and 11 was funny, come back in a year. If you thought 11 was funny, please go shoot yourself. Never return to this website.
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Third round: Multiple choice
1. I like to laugh:
a. when I already feel good.
b. on Fridays.
c. never.
d. all the time!
e. at drummers.
2. The best part about being in band is:
a. free pop.
b. waiting for people to go to the bathroom while eating out with the band so you can put sugar on their pizza.
c. putting on sunglasses and leaning against a wall in the band hall playing slow jazz with your case open in front of you, pretending to be a starving musician.
d. walking through the band hall in the morning and seeing people battling with flag poles, chasing after one another and giggling like crazy while another ring of people are playing European on the floor oblivious to what else is happening--that is, until someone falls into the circle, then the conductor comes out to try to restore order and everyone has to hide their food, except that someone "accidentally" bonks him with a flag pole.
3. Who let the dogs out?
a. It was me. Sorry.
b. Whoever it was, I hope they never, never, NEVER do it again.
c. I'm all right with people letting dogs out as long as they don't sing about it.
d. I think it was the same guy who let the drummers out. Would somebody PLEASE lock them up again?
4. Before your band class on the day of the concert, someone asks you to move a tympano (yes! The singular of tympani!) from the band room to the stage. What do you do?
a. Say, "That's my job!" enthusiastically and move it.
b. Whine, "Why can't a percussionist do it?"
c. Say you'll do it, then hang out in the band hall talking with your friends until the conductor yells at you.
d. When someone mentions drums, the drum solos from marching band start running through your head, so you get the tympano and try to do the little dances while moving it...probably come close to breaking the drum a couple times on the way over.