Pending investigations from the following agencies:

IRS, FBI, CIA, KGB, AFL/CIO, Sailor Petes All you can eat restaurant, PBS, NBC, CBS, FOX, UPN, Showtime, HBO, the Secret Police, Victoria's Secret Catalog, AAA, Alcoholics Anonymous, that weird Spanish channel (it's like channel 47 or something), The legislative and executive branches of the US government, DOD, those aliens with six eyes, several famous actors, KeyBank, lots of angry Sumerians, The Cherokee Indians, SuperCompuGlobalHyperMegaNet, MIB, The "MOD" Squad, The AMA, FCC, Smaug, Pikachu, Batman, DragonballZ, Akira, The Federation Trade Council (see star wars episode one), Darth Maul, Dr. NO, Scapegoats Anonymous, FTC, TCI, MCI, Microsoft, Dell, Apple, Sun Microsystems, The Serbs, The Greasers, Hordes of Evil Chickens, People who don't like looking at Agencies, The Department of Redundancy Department, MR.BOB, The John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt (his name is my name too) memorial fund, Billy Bob Joe, Morgoth, Jimmy the Grease Monkey, The San Diego Zoo, The Duke Ellington 100th Anniversary Celebration, Lucasfilm, the Lord of the Rings, also known as Sauron, Jehovahs Witnesses, Kwanzaa, The Stonecutters, The X Presidents, FHC, Sirtet, The Masons, The Communist Party, The Socialist Party, Capitalism, The Democrats, The Republicans, Michael Flatley "the lord of the dance", Richard Garfield, CSA, UFO, The Rebel Alliance, The empire, The old and New republic, The Ancient Prussians, Most of southern europe, the British Pound, The New Kids on the Block, Chile, Argentina, Lithuania, the Trojan Army, The House of Athens, Zeus, The underworld, Rick's 'All You Can Eat' Foodmagorium and Classic American Steakery, WCW, WWF, nWo, ECW, DX, Stone Cold's marketers, some dead guy, Eric the Red, Odin, The Feds, an horde of rampaging killbots, people who like PBS, the glass blower, some ugly monster from Jupiter, hydra, the Gorgons, disgruntled postal workers, talking monkeys, Disney INC, Dreamworks, marching bands accross America, Babe the Pig, the Muppets, Winnie the Poo and friends, the headless horsemen, the Demloays, ESPN, Nickelodeon, www.mattshomepageisthebestsiteonthewholeinternet.com.net.edu, Yahoo!, the Jetsons, the Flintstones, cellular division, rpm, e=mc^2, Seinfeld, TBS, TNT, USA, the cast of Baywatch, Pok�mons (gotta catch em' all, gotta catch em' all), Bill Cosby's left hand, TGIF, The Pope, the mob, the IB program, Argmatey the Pirate's Internet Phlegm Store, the national junior honor society, the Galactic Empire, the Kirkorian Lowat 2 revolutionary war planning organization, supercalifragilisticexbealidocious, the commity of suprisingly bored individuals in conjunstion with the total idiot association organization of America global conquest division a subdivision of the planning commity of global domination by the mutated disgruntled radioactive underground rodent society, which plans meetings and luncheons for the total loss of brain memory group which meets annualy at the Hilton Las Vegas (the CSBICTIAOAGCDSPCGFMDRURSWPMLTLBMGWMAHLV), Ross Perot, Pauley Shore, Mulder and Scully, Tubists, Microsoft, the cast of the show "Friends", Arundel High School Band (that's not my band, which makes this investigation even more useless), Mars Bars, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, People Magazine, PC World Magazine, Time Magazine, The Power Rangers, Fox Kids, Kids WB, Legislature, Parliament, The Simpsons, the house, the president, the vice-president, the attourney general, the secretary of state, a headless dude named Ralph, the zombies from the Michael Jackson music video "Thriller", Gator Girl, Andy Griffith, sea monkeys, and Y2K UFO invasion protection planning army; a division of the FBI (Floral Boutique Incubators).

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

The gang from Final Fantasy 8, the new and improved FALL SPORT; The Body Flencher!(tm) (WARNING-aim away from face. WARNING-should not be taken internally by: children, the elderly, pirates, circus freaks with horns, Fern-my psychic, professional wrestlers, lawyers, the devil, puppets, bricks, middle aged men/women, french horn players, anyone in any type or sort of mental institution, anyone with any kind of accent, musicians, primates, fish, plants, fungus, robots, genetic freaks, anyone named Natalie, anyone named Fran, anyone named Daniella, anyone who has ever breathed, or 15-year old prostitutes named Chloe that have webbed toes and dreams to start their own Worm Farm in Spain. WARNING-if taken internally, please consult mortician and/or plubmer. WARNING-Fall Sport can cause: vomiting, extreme vomiting, loss of memory, total loss of memory, vertigo, athsma, bloating, extensive gas, uncontrollable cravings for DoDo eggs, psychotic behavior, mental anguish, depression, loss of limbs, loss of brain, extreme migraines, uncontrollable blatter, hate against green cars, and possible loss of head. WARNING-Fall Sport may suddenly burst into flames. WARNING-when not in use, store Fall Sport in its radioactive terminal to prevent nuclear war. WARNING-Fall Sport was creatd from an unknown item from space that landed in somewhere in eastern Siberia, Russia. WARNING-Fall Sport is classified as a "Carbonated Acid". WARNING-when drinking Fall Sport and playing Monopoly, when passing go, you may not collect $200.), a mob of angry Australians, many disgruntled communist dictators, the NRA (Nuts, Rats, and Airplanes), Al Gore for president committee, Spam, Ricky Martin's pants, and a couple surfers.

Ok, I'm not actually under investigation by anyone. I just felt like making this page for I was bored out of my mind. In fact, most of these agencies are made up by me and some existed in BC times. Seriously people, who in the heck would be under investigation by Zeus or the SBICTIAOAGCDSPCGFMDRURSWPMLTLBMGWMAHLV. Come on people, please don't take this fake page seriously.