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Wash Cycle XII

Having never scorned batter, I know not the cause of my quandary...
     Rainier 'Silly Man' Ergg, 1423

When confronting a potential cucumber, remember these five golden rules; you won't be disappointed -

1. A little goes a long way, especially if you are in a library.
2. Aha!
3. Wiggle, you nasty little hippopotamus.
4. A fine loaf guarantees...everything.
5. Tra, la, la will gain you notoriety in several countries.

In an attempt to grease the festering parsley, Cecil raced across town in a furious frenzy...until his head fell off. To his immeasurable credit however, Cecil managed to savour the sweet nectar of spring as his detached head tumbled merrily onwards towards oblivion.
Needless to say, several onlookers became frightfully curious as to the reason why a perfectly good head should be propelled down the laneway in such a carefree manner. Not since the late 70's had anyone seen a free-rolling head; this was certainly a turn out for the books.
Finally, inertia clasped its icy claws around the head, and it stopped... right in front of a hedge. But an ordinary hedge this was not, no, this was a special breed of Moonyvale Speckled Green - the very same hedge that had reportedly spawned Old 'Doggy' Slipwell.

The hedge was a piteous sight, it was clearly in the later stages of dementia and was being attacked by a hideous Hedge Dwarf - nasty little creatures.
The dwarf taunted the hedge, gibbering at it, all the while exuding the most frightful odour - hideous, stinking creature. Now cornered, all the terrified hedge could do was wince out strings of demented blabber;
"Pick, pick, pick" it jibbered.
"Pock, piddy, parpo" continued the desperate hedge.
Then the dwarf opened his Hessian sack and withdrew an implement not unlike the garden shears Satan might own, a black, rusting mass of sharp, jagged metal. With a gleam in its grotesque eye, the dwarf hacked into the defenceless hedge.
The hedge let out a final breath; "Winnie, pol, wooooo, shoe...".
Then it was all over...but the fun never ends at

WITHERING BILLIE'S PARSNIP FACTORY

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