Has it occurred to anyone how many complete assholes there are driving around on the roads? Every time I drive down to the shops to buy the latest copy of Biker Slut magazine, there's always someone in my way who has no idea on how to properly chew their food, let alone drive.
Every time i get in my car, there's some asshole who:
• doesn't know how to merge;
• is blissfully unaware of their accelerator pedal;
• confuses which lane they're actually meant to be in every fifteen seconds;
• pays no attention to the world around them;
• has no idea how to navigate any change in the road, including bends;
• can't go through a roundabout without an air traffic controller talking them through it.
I was thinking about the roundabout issue, and i had a fantastic idea: I can run a test from here to see if people are suitable to drive. It's really simple, you only have to look at two pictures and answer a yes or no question for each of them. Here we go:
Does this sign confuse you?
If you answered 'yes' to this question, then you're definitely in contention for the title of supreme asshole. You probably also are in favour of any policy that supports mermaids becoming politicians. You can go on to the next question, but this one was mainly just for my amusement.
Does this intersection confuse you?
If you answered 'yes' to this question, then pull out your licence, cut it up and eat it. No sauce. You are not fit to drive. To be honest, you probably should be banned from any activity that involves a motor of any kind. After you've finished eating your licence, email me via the smackdoomcentral contact section. I'll send around a few nice people who'll make sure that you never pass on your driving skills, or genetic material, to anyone.
That's it! If you answered 'no' to either, or both, questions - then good for you! Be sure to take the test again in a few weeks, just in case you need a brush up on your skills.
Just remember, if you are:
• someone who has pissed off another motorist at any time;
• confused by any aspect of driving;
• involved in any kind of accident or traffic violation;
• a friend of someone that has answered yes to any of the above three points;
