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Psychology?

I went to see a Counsellor today. You see, I'm an angry, angry young man.
Even thinking about is starting to make me feel a bit pissed off. I'm so pissed off that I'm even contemplating drinking herbal tea and then going on a safari. Suit and all.
The point is, I went to see a Counsellor. I walked in and was instantly taken back.
There were photos of Freud everywhere. Dr. Phil books were on every flat surface. There was more to this than meets the eye. Doing my best Optimus Prime voice i said:

"What's going on here?"
"Now Smoe, I'm not a Counsellor, I'm a Psychologist. That means I'm a step under being a Psychiatrist. I'm a Psychiatrist without being able to prescribe drugs."

I flipped. A Psychologist?
Read - someone who wants to be a tough scientist that makes hardcore acids and feeds them to puppies. Someone like this:

source: www.clipsahoy.com Check this guy out! The only reason that he's mixing those chemicals together is to make a super acid. When he feeds it to his puppy, it'll turn into a mechanised killing machine that eats ninjas. Or it could die a hideous death. Either way, this Scientist has some balls, and is willing to take the risk. On top of which, in his spare time, this guy trains to actually become a ninja so one day he can face off against his ultimate killing machine in his lounge room.

Instead, they take the sign marked "Courses for pussies" and enrol in Psychology.
They end up turning into scientists like this:
source: free-stock-photos.com Now this guy - Edison, he invented the light bulb. Big deal. If i wanted light i'd set something on fire, then throw it. Look at him - Look at how careful he's being while mixing things. I bet he never even heard of acids. You see, later on, Edison became afraid of chemicals, nuclear bombs and the pursuit of science in general. He cried like Nancy Kerrigan and became a Psychologist. Or so I'm lead to believe.

I could fell the rage building up inside of me. I composed myself, and went on with our conversation:

"Oh really science boy?" I replied with sarcasm. "Tell me, then, what is the periodic table? What is the third law of thermodynamics? Where in the body is the femoral artery?" TELL ME SCIENCE BOY! TELL ME!"

He couldn't answer me. All I got out of him was some babble about Piaget and fraudulently producing statistical data. After repeated questioning, he admitted - Psychology wasn't a real science. After threatening some moves that I'd learned off Ninja Scroll he even admitted that yes, he was actually the janitor, and was studying to be a Psychologist. I should've guessed from his uniform. You see even though he wanted to be a Psychiatrist, he was too afraid of science. SCIENCE!
The ruse was up. Step below a Psychiatrist? Yes Mr. Psychologist. Yes you are. One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

Smoe

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