| SmackDoomCentral |
the knob in the middle |
The knob in the middle
Right then.
Attention, all middle class tossers. Here comes reality.
If you are content living in a "central location close to the hustle and
bustle of metropolitan life" you are a fuckwit.
If you come into my record shop (erstwhile place of employment) and ask to
order "Missy Misdemeanour Elliot" (exact quote, I might add) and you are a
pasty white middle class fool who has never set foot on 'the streets' beyond
going to fucking Kingston for a coffee and a lovely little pastry on a
Sunday morning, then reality is coming for you pal, read on.
If you buy a car that is a vague amalgam of every trendy vehicle that has
ever been featured in FHM or Ralph Style (or whatever tosser trend-following
loser magazines you read), just because it looks good in a glossy photo
or, because 'Jenny from the block' drives one, then loser, you suck large
ones.
Furthermore, if you go to your hairdresser - sorry, "stylist", and ask
for Hugh Grant's latest cut, then you are a knob. Yes, a knob.
Jeans and a shirt that has shit scrawled all over it, making it look
like a fucking toddler painted on it? YOU ARE A FLOG!
Wake up and smell the coffee dickwit! You are a pasty middle class knob. A
pure fuckstick. A trend-following loser.
Oh no, what's that you say? You are actually in touch with reality because
you listen to "alternative electronica"? Well forgive me, I must be entirely mistaken... actually, no I'm not, you are an even bigger twat. TWAT!
Next time you are driving your puke mobile to a Hugh Grant film wearing
your latest trucker hat, do us all a favour and veer into the lake. Yes,
that'sright lame-arse, there are people out there who think you are a
complete waste of space - nasty people who want to see you trampled into a
stinking puddle by a pack of marauding pigs.
You know it...
Tarquin
Articles
SmackDoomCentral
