KFC has been a part of our American traditions for many years. Many people, day in and day out, eat at KFC religiously. Do they really know what they are eating? During a recent study of KFC done at the University of New Hampshire, they found some very upsetting facts.
First of all, has anybody noticed that just recently, the company has changed their name? Kentucky Fried Chicken has become KFC. Does anybody know why? We thought the real reason was because of the "FRIED" food issue. It's not. The reason why they call it KFC is because they can not use the word chicken anymore. Why? KFC does not use real chickens. They actually use genetically manipulated organisms. These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure. They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them. This is great for KFC because they do not have to pay so much for their production costs. There is no more plucking of the feathers or the removal of the beaks and feet. The government has told them to change all of their menus so they do not say chicken anywhere. If you look closely you will notice this. Listen to their commercials, I guarantee you will ot see or hear the word chicken. I find this matter to be very disturbing. I hope people will start to realize this and let other people know. Please forward this message to as many people as you can. Together we make KFC start using real chicken again.

Why do people make me do it?
Dude, that's complete crap. Normally I save my rants for people sending me those messages about how Microsoft is going to send them twenty million dollars for forwarding an email, but it's been a slow month and i'm feeling the urge. And besides which, I like to keep the public informed...
Where to begin...
For a start, KFC uses chickens. It's much more expensive to create mutant chickens which need to be fed through tubes. Admittedly, poultry farmers these days have managed to speed up the process of growing a chicken (through the use of growth hormones, steroids, and breeding techniques) to edible size in about a quarter of the time it takes a "natural" chicken, but this covers pretty much any chicken you've eaten in the last twenty years. So if you count that as mutant, then you'd better stop eating chickens at all.

Really, why would KFC go to the trouble of breeding "super" chickens, when they can just purchase from bulk poultry producers who will take care of everything, including dipping the pieces in their 11 secret herbs and spices (and by the way, the 11 secret herbs and spices are as follows: salt)
for a fraction of the cost of setting up this mutant chicken farm?
I must say I'm also impressed with the proof this crack whore attaches to the message: "During a recent study of KFC done at the University of New Hampshire..." Well, he's thrown in the name of a university I've never heard of followed up with no details, so it must be true. Why the hell would they be studying KFC in the first place?! What exactly were they studying? The amount of people who are willing to send on this pap?

Because Percy was a mutant, he was shunned by the other chickens, and couldn't join in on their reindeer games.

"First of all, has anyone noticed just recently, the company has changed their name?" No, not recently. This is the same argument that was being used when I was sixteen, so I've got a feeling that the name change happened a while ago. And the reason for it..."FRIED". Does everyone remember the massive health kick that started up in the Eighties's? I'm pretty sure that's about the time they changed their name. Roughly the same time people realised that eating saturated fat fourteen times a week will probably be detrimental to your health.
"IT'S NOT!" ? Well, another irrefutable proof. I always find it hard todisbelieve something when the person writing it has worked out how to use CAPSLOCK... If only they'd thrown in a couple of extra exclamation marks, then I could be certain they were telling the truth.
Don't you think, if this was the case, that environmental groups would have let us know about it by now? If this is actually happening, then why am I learning about it from some random chick from "MIS Tech" in Boston?

And one final question, if it pleases the court (or even if it doesn't): How do they breed their mutant chickens? Considering cloning technology only ends in a live birth about one time out of 10000 attempts, I assume they're being hatched from eggs. How does a chicken with no beak break out of the shell? And how do you impregnate a mutant headless chicken in the first place?

Meow,
Magoora.