All the World's a Stage

Disclaimer/Author's Notes: Yes, I said I wouldn't do another play. I lied, so sue me. None of these characters belong to me, they are all part and parcel of the genius that is JK Rowling. I make no money at this and in fact sink a great deal of time into my geekiness. Please don't sue me. This is indeed the third in what is currently a trilogy of plays, and there are some running jokes throughout the three... so for that reason I'll recommend that you read 'The Play's the Thing' and 'The Show Must Go On' before reading this, though you should be able to survive without.

The impromptu stage in the Great Hall was now a veritable forest of crayoned drawing and improbably colored, impossibly cute animals shapes. Some of those animal shapes actually moved, as testament to the fact that Crabbe could actually do magic when he wanted to. Most of the Hogwarts players were still in costume. In some cases, this was a good thing; Draco's costume was eye-piercingly white and enhanced what natural attributes he had... namely his coloring. In other cases, however, it was a nightmare waiting to happen, as witness Colin Creevey's hideously pink dress with a flowery apron over the front and roughly half a kilo of makeup smeared on his face.

Hermione, of course, was used to this scene and waded through it without blinking. Her companion, auburn-braided Hannah Abbott, was not, and stared around the room, looking both as though she were lost and as though she wanted to run. "Right!" Hermione called. "All of you, front and center and drop those scriptbooks!"

"Wait, don't tell me...." Harry put one hand to his forehead dramatically. "We're switching plays again."

Hermione smiled a little too brightly. "Why Harry, however did you know?"

"Could've been the books following you around, Granger," Draco drawled from his position next to Harry on the threadbare sofa tucked amidst the paper jungle. "Of course... it could also've been the little lost puppy you've got following you around."

"Hannah is not a lost puppy. She happens to be our newest cast member." Hermione tossed her hair. "And as I've decided you are all horrid actors-"

"You decided that weeks ago, 'Mione," Goyle pointed out helpfully.

"Whatever, Greg. The point is that I don't care to maul Midsummer Night's Dream anymore."

Seamus shrugged, grinning at her. "So what are we gonna mangle?"

"Macbeth. And you're not, Seamus, or else I'll-"

"You'll what?"

"I'll... I'll find Lockhart and get him to tell me where that massive trunk of his with the teeth went." She nodded decisively. "So there. Now, I have everyone's scripts and everyone's parts picked out already, so come and get them."

Hannah immediately fished one of the green books out of the pile and started reading, though there was a marked lack of movement from the rest of the players. After a few minutes of futile staredown, Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. "All right, then I'll just throw them at you. Ron! You're Macbeth!"

"OW!" Ron rubbed his head and glared at his 'sort of' girlfriend. "Thanks a lot, Herm."

Oblivious to the sarcasm, she replied, "You're welcome. Draco! Lady Macbeth!" She looked slightly disappointed when the pale boy caught his book easily to massive amounts of snickering from teh other cast members, then tossed out a second one. "Harry, you're Banquo." The rest of the books flew out in quick succession. "Dean, you're Malcolm. Greg, MacDuff. Try and remember what you've been learning about words with more than one syllable-"

"What've bulls got t'do with anything?"

"...I like bulls."

"Greg, Vince, both of you shut up unless it's you line, okay? Honestly." Hermione shook her head and continued tossing out books. "Seamus, remember our discussion in re: the trunk. Colin, if you don't keep up with the rest of us, I will duct tape you to the chair and Professor McGonagall will have to come and let you go, and I won't even care about the detention. The rest of you... you're not important enough to remember, so I'm not going to bother."

At the continued lack of motion on and around the stage, Hermione crossed her arms and Glared, once again no longer simply Hermione Granger, but Interim Director and Mad Costumer Her Title Gets Longer Every Scene Hermione. "Well? Let's go! First scene, now!"