BACK
Guaranteed Weight Loss Program > > >>A rather chubby fellow was reading the paper one-day lamenting the >fact > > >>that > > >>his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is >an > > >>advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "Guaranteed my >ass", > > >>he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they think they can do." > > >>He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 pound >weight > > >>loss > > >>program. > > >>The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, >there > > >>stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe dressed in > > >>nothing > > >>but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She >introduces > > >>herself as a representative of the weight loss company. > > >>The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." > > >>Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles >later, > > >>huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. > > >>After they are through, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this >company > > >>does business." For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the >same > > >>thing happens each time. > > >>On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure enough he has lost 10 > > >>pounds. > > >>Deciding that he likes his somewhat slender physique, not to mention >the > > >>method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to >their 5 > > >>day, 20 pound weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in >only > > >>5 > > >>days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" >schedule > > >>might be > > >>like this time. > > >>As expected, the next day there is a knock at his door. When he >answers it > > >>there stands a 22-year-old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of > > >>Reeboks > > >>and a sign around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most >beautiful > > >>woman > > >>he has ever seen. > > >>She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. > The > > >>sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." > > >>He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it > > >>takes him a while to catch her, but when he does it is worth every >cramp > > >>and > > >>wheeze. > > >>He is really looking forward to the next four days.... > > >>For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing >happens > > >>each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself >and, > > >>unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," >he > > >>thinks to himself. "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and >so > > >>much > > >>fun!" > > >>Feeling much better about himself he decides to go for broke and >subscribe > > >>to > > >>the company's 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, >sir?" > > >>asks > > >>the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." > > >>"Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. I haven't felt this good >in > > >>years!" > > >>The next day there is a knock at his door and he enthusiastically >answers > > >>it. > > >>There stands before him a 200-pound perfect specimen of a man dressed >in > > >>nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. The sign reads, >"If > > >>I > > >>catch you, your ass is mine!"
