bumberstickers2

More bumber stickers we'd like to see...

*There are very few personal problems that can't be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
*Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
*Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
*If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
*Mental backup in progress-Do Not Disturb!
*Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
*Support bacteria-they're the only culture some people have.
*Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
*Many people wuit looking for work when they find a job.
*I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
*Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
*Never do card tricks for the people you play poker with.
*Never test the depth of water with both feet.
*Hope that it is not your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others.
*If you tell the truth you don;t have to remember anything.
*If you lend someone 20 pounds, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
*The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
*The difference between extraordinary and ordianry is that little extra.
*Spotted on the back of a t-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: "If you see me running, try to keep up."
*A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*Don't you think it's kind of unnerving that doctors call what they do "Practice"
*Did you ever notice that Evian bottled water is Naive spelled backwards? Think about it...
*The grass may actually be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
*Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
*Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
*If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
*A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
*Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
*For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
*No one is listening until you make a mistake.
*Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
*The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
*Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

*The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
*A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
*Change is inevitable...except from vending machines.
*A fool and his money are soon partying.
*Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
*Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!
*Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
*Be nice to your kids, they'll chose your nursing home.
*I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
*Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
*Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him/her sleep.
*Sex is a misdemeanor...the more I miss, the meaner I get!!
*As long as there are tests there will be prayer in public schools.
*The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
*I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
*Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
*Procrastinate now.
*Rehab is for quitters.
*My dog can lick anyone.
*I have a degree in liberal arts-do you want fries with that?
*Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since I was 15.
*West Virginia: One million people and 15 last names.
*I'm out of Estrogen, and I've got a gun.
*Stupidity is not a handicap! Park elsewhere.
*They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
*He who dies with the most toys is nontheless dead.
*Police station toilet stolen-police have nothing to go on.
*Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.
*The meek shall inherit the Earth, after we are thru with it.
*Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
*HAM AND EGGS-A day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.
*The trouble with life is there's no background music.
*If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
*Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
*NyQuil-the sneezy, snuffy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
*Quoting one is plagarism. Quoting many is research.
*My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.