Shadows

by Angel C.

 

 

my lover, my heart�s contender: both protector and tormentor of my soul...

let it be not, let it be so... for, being bonded through eternity, was never my goal

 

you and I, are one and the same...

            pawns in this unending political game

to further both their gains and achieve their devises

we were offered as unimportant sacrifices

 

still, I cannot began to comprehend my family�s acceptance

            they, my supposedly defenders, all slipped into silence

I wanted to punish them, to make them share my grief-

 

how could they be the reason to my agony, my sorrow

they are the reasons I dread to see tomorrow

such irony that at the same time, I want to hide in their arms

to be held and protected from all that would do harm

I trust them and I resent them

I want to abide them and torment them

 

never did I want to love you nor fall in love with you

better to be protected by my dignity then to be played a fool

 

yet the choice was not mine...my heart protested and cried out in denial...

            and yet we both knew that resistance was futile

 

I could not help, but protested and refused to yield:

            to be tied with a complete stranger...to have our souls be sealed-

a thought that incased my mind in horror and heart in ice

only to be informed that it was my legacy�s price

 

you are not my heart�s first choice...as I was not yours...

armed with this knowledge I continued to refute our heritage�s chores

not wanting to be bounded in misery and eternal disdain...

            to be forced to link our souls and share a stranger�s pain...

 

perhaps it was my destiny, a path that I could not help but walk:

with my bloody heart for comfort and my mind in numbing shock-

as my soul is shackled to yours through the rest of eternity...


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