Ron/Hermione
Imagine these two having sex.
...Umm, you done? Great. Noticed how you just couldn't imagine these two having sex? DITTO! Next one, please.
Ron/Harry
Harry takes Ron for granted. Ron's pissed off at Harry's fame every now and then. Harry's busy shagging Malfoy anyway. Yeah, now you know.
Oliver/Percy
Percy's a complicated character. He probably doesn't know bollocks about Quidditch. We all know Penny's a cover up for SOMETHING, but Oliver/Percy.. Oh well. Let's let some people have their fun with these two.
Harry/Oliver
Yeah, everyone wants a piece off The Boy Who Lived. Poor Harry, honestly. I have to let you wonderers know; that is NOT how Oliver teaches his Quidditch tactics. He prefers diagrams and sorts.
Oliver/Marcus
People sure dig this Slytherin/Gryffindor-rivalry thing... *nods lazily* Have your Quidditch captains suck each other off.. See if I care. *yawn*
Ron/Draco
I'm telling you; H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x) [also a great fic by Bec].
In other words; Malfoy's bonking The Boy Who Lived. Well, at least that's the latest information.
Oliver/OC [or, bluntly, Mary Sue]
We [meaning me and my wonderful sidepersonalities, naturally] are fully aware Sean Biggerstaff is the single most attractive man on Earth, AND he's cool/funny/Scottish and that accent brings warmth to our hearts and all that, but if you wanna shag him, we don't really care to discuss the details. Turning it all around to a fic, in which some really pretty, smart and practical girl [who also rules at Quidditch!] marries Oliver Wood and we are just gagging..
So just. No.
Snape/Oliver or Snape/Ron
Oh, I hate you people.
Oliver/Madam Hooch
*evil grin* Sure.
Don't you think we should leave it at this? Surely you've all realised Ron/Oliver is the only way to be.