| TRIP SEVEN - "...and going and going!" |
| Jacksonville was great! Small club and rowdy crowd but not the usual gang of drunken assholes you'd find elsewhere (*cough*cough*Massachusetts*cough*)... I was snapping pics left and right and tried to store the camera under one of the amps but the carpeting filled with blood and the camera was soaked no matter where it went. Plus by then our presence was known and all the slaves knew where to find us so we got special treatment; the honor of being excessively bled/pissed/jizzed on all the time. Everytime we were hit we'd hoot and scream and grin at each other. Yep, this is what it's all about... all the driving, all the sleep deprivation, starving, mishaps along the way... as long as yer seeing a show you know it's all worth it. I think we were handed more water this nite again (I can't keep all the nites straight but 'Beefcake' made sure Moo & I never were dehydrated... he'd later remark something along the lines of, "It was a humanitarian effort, Moo was dying down there, all crushed and in pain...!" heh heh heh... but we LOVE IT that way!!!) Dana was hilarious, he had a water bottle and when it was empty he'd hold it out in the "line of fire" of the blood and tried to get it filled. Oderus noticed this and grabbed onto it and filled it with crap for him. Dana snatched it back then proceeded to drink the whole thing... oh man I almost yakked at the sight!!! We noticed that nite after nite the stuff would smell increasingly worse as the tank was used more and more or had leftover stuff stored in it, who knows. Straight up, you wouldn't keep your mouth open as much in the northeast shows... It was a sorta frightening experience to be that close to the stage cause sometimes it'd hit you in the back of your mind that these are the same weirdos you know offstage. Nah!!! After the show Dana came running up to us grinning ear to ear. Awesome fucking show, AHHH!!! Unfortunately he bailed pretty quickly and a few moments later while Moo and I were putzing around on the floor, Moo noticed something small and shiny. Holy shit... one of the gothic kid's fucking bells from his hair!!! We both nearly fell over laughing and frantically ran around trying to locate Dana... never found him. Moo kept the bell and we kept going back and forth on our theories as to how the bell was removed from his hair. Hahaah, dumbass. Met more nice kids outside, Jacksonville was a nice lil place... unfortunately in the middle of the ghetto tho. I feared my car wouldn't be there when we returned!! Moo & I were scared to go back and change clothes in the car, fearing some crackheads would be milling around waiting for us. We forged ahead anyway and rewarded our bravery with some Taco Bell and a goodnite's sleep at a rest stop near Daytona. Stopped in Orlando on Friday morning cause I had a test... didn't shower, didn't change my clothes, NOTHING. I walked into the lecture hall with bloodstains all over, hair all wind-blown and nasty, smelling like shit, starving, tired and not ready for the test. I probably hadn't gone to class in 2 weeks and never read the book. (SIDE NOTE: I ended up failing this class... surprise!!!!) After the test Moo & I packed our bags for the last two shows and started the grieving process. Before, we always knew we had many more shows left but now it was coming down to the wire. The beatdown with the reality stick was going to be real rough... Ft. Myers was interesting, I had NO SIGNAL on my cellphone so our folks didn't get a call from us and started to freak out. We showed up stupidly early cause, again, no hotel or intentions of getting one so we just pissed the afternoon away outside the venue. Went to some local shops, a Publix, ran some errands. Their merch guy approached us and said, "Ah, not getting front row tonite?" gesturing towards my outfit. I guess it was a bit dressier than the usual white tshirt and blue jeans... I was wearing red pants and a small black velvet top. "FUCK YEAH WE ARE!!!! FRONT ROW OR BUST!!!" we cheered. "Oh, looks like you're dressed up tonite..." he commented. Nope, all our dirty clothes is too filthy, time to break out the civilian clothes. The barricade was like prison bars that nite and for 2 small little girls it was hell. The barricade reached our noses so with any push from the crowd, we'd be eating it or suffering severe facial injuries. "I'm NOT sticking around for the show up here," I commented. "I'm gonna find a nice spot over on the stairs before GWAR hits... dude, we're going to die up here!" It was a tough barricade to hang onto too. Isn't that sad, most folks can just go to a concert and that's that. But us and our vertical handicap requires hours of waiting out front to ensure front row so we can see and breathe. I get claustrophobic if giants fill the space around me... ya know, giants, people who are 5'1 and over!!! Something happened tho before the show. I guess we realized it was one of our last shows so we better make it count no matter what. So we didn't leave our spots... instead we manuevered around so our legs were twined in with the bars, stepped onto the bottom rung of the barricade, wrapped our arms thru the top of the bars and hung on for dear life, half suspended in the air. After about 15 mins it started to hurt like a bitch for fortunately the crowd behind us squished forward so much we were held in place, elevated off the ground. But of course, you're stuck and defenseless so you can't hide your face or cover your eyes if getting hit with too much of a blast. Plus, the design of the barricade itself left you very exposed. No one wasted any time nailing us directly in the tits & crotch with high powered jizm. I howled laughing when 'Oderus' held an especially long stream of piss right between Moo's legs for such a long time that the people around us noticed and started cat-calling and hooting. It was a great feeling to look over and see one of the slaves point at you then another one come up and blast something right at you... such a warm 'n' fuzzy feelling to be loved! And the fuzzy feeling we got during "Sick of You" when 'Oderus' pointed at us during one of the choruses and said, "...especially YOU & YOU!!!" WHOOOOO!!! Moo & I couldn't stop smilling until we were nailed in the teeth with high powered god knows what a few moments later. When the crowd parted we both nearly fell backwards. My legs went numb and fell asleep long time ago so it was fun trying to walk outta there. Said hey to everyone after the show then proceeded to start our nitely ritual of stripping. Unfortunately my shirt was so damn tight and wet (that sounds kinky, doesn't it?) I couldn't get it off. I struggled and fought and yelped for quite awhile before barely squeezing out of it and into the usual W.A.S.P. shirt and boxers. Another lesson later learned, but change your underwear too. Just because you are wearing something lacy without alot of material and it's gonna dry faster doesn't mean it'll starve off infections. Lessons learned will be full of "girlie issues" that every chick must realize before hitting up a GWAR show!!! After bullshitting around for a bit and being asked about our plans for the evening, we shrugged and said we'd be crashing at whatever rest stop we happened to catch first. One of them said nah and offered us one of their rooms since they'd be leaving around 7am or so. Normally Moo & I would decline but we decided "what the hell" that nite and said okay. All we gotta do it wait till 7am then sleep till noon, sounds easy enough. But ya dont really realize how far away 7am is. It was close to 2am when we hit the hotel and after hopping room to room for awhile I finally settled in the lobby where their tour manager was working on his lap top. I hadn't talked to him much until that nite so it was a good chance to introduce myself. "Hey, I'm Lis..." I said something along those lines. "Yep, I know that, I'm putting you girls on the guest list every nite, remember?" he smiled. Oops, duh! He told us we were nuts, crazy, looney, all those wonderful adjectives Moo & I get off on hearing. He was cool, I hope he realized my sis and I weren't hos... we'd made our message pretty damn clear many times but respect is earned not assigned. We told him why we'd appeared at their hotel and he said that was cool. More time passed and I was realizing I couldn't sit in the lobby till 7am. He said we could go ahead and reserve a room using his discount, whooohooo! Without a second thought I was up at the counter. Ft. Lauderdale was only a 2 hour haul so we could sleep till 10am or so!!! OMG, our first REAL NITE'S SLEEP in a long time!! I was fucking psyched. We threw around the offer to everyone that they could come upstairs if they wanted rather than doze on the bus and one fish fell for the bait. Such a peaceful nite, I got into my pajamas, fetched some sodas, put on cartoon network, Moo showered, I refused to until morning... as soon as I crawled into bed I was out about 4 seconds later. They were leaving at some god awful hour of the AM like 7... so when the phone rang for the wakeup call, I at first thought it was for Moo & I.... NOOO!!! Know that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the nite, see your alarm clock and see that you have only 5 mins before the clock goes off and you're like, "DAMMIT!!" But when you look over and see you have 3 hours left, it's the best fucking feeling in the world? I threw the phone back down, woke up the poor bastard, "see ya later!" and rolled over back to sleep, 4 more hours to doze, WHOOOHOOOOO!!!! NEXT!!!! |