tripnine4

TRIP NINE - ... and going...

How much longer can I ramble about how drunk we were? I lost count of my drinks, at least 4 whiskey & cokes and probably 4 shots... Moo had 2 drinks and 3 shots, I think... who really keeps count... I ran around taking footage of my ass a few more times, Moo & I slapped each other around, she kept hitting the bed. It all got fuzzy and the eventual 'pass-out' struck... I'm guessing around 5am? I was only out for about 30 mins probably... but I woke up to a PLUNK! sound... a body hitting the floor and it wasn't mine. Pitch black in the room too, seemed like everyone had gone to sleep. Moo WAS laying next to me about a minute earlier before she rolled over and hit her head on the nitestand before crashing to the floor. OMG, MOO!!! I'm such a horrible mother! Heh heh... I got up and she was moaning about having to yakk... got her to the toilet and the said guest woke up... they were both saying something about "Round 2"... what??! Apparently while I was out Moo took a dive to the floor and was about to yakk so he got her to the toilet and held her hair back for her... aww how nice! Well shit, does this mean she's gonna puke again? "HANG ON MOO! I'M GONNA GRAB THE CAMCORDER!!!" I cried. I didn't wanna miss getting this on tape. She was just dry heaving and didn't yakk so I tried talking about greasy pork sandwiches served in an ashtray to get her to vomit for the camera. Poor thing... I did give her a cold washcloth and turn the bathroom light out tho...
After she was done we sat up and babbled forever, probably 2 hours... Moo passed out, I was feeling dizzy. Tried drinking alot of water cause I didn't wanna be hung over while trying to drive to Rhode Island. How I ended up on the floor with my pants partially down is beyond me but that's how I woke up. That seems to happen to me alot... How did those 2 bums get their own beds and I was on the floor? I probably rolled off. Who knows. But I woke up before everyone and felt like a million bucks, NO hangover! "C'mon, get up!" I yapped after only 2 hours of sleep.
The drive to Rhode Island was either silent or rowdy... we were throwing those now-half molded muffins, danishes and pastries from Jersey around the car... it was either that or they both slept while I sang real loud. Rhode Island was a blast, AHHHH!!! After finally finding the venue Moo & I parked in a very dark narrow alley a few blocks from the venue. Real safe. Now I was feeling sick as fuck!!! That cold I caught in Mass. set in and didn't leave for 2 MONTHS!!! I was sniffling and feeling shitty till mid-January. Yikes.
So we're waiting in line and my nose is all stuffed, I'm cranky, sorta tired, feelin shitty. Must find some cold medicine!!! Some awesome kids were waiting in line with us, about Moo's age, they were psyched about the show and we babbled about the road & shows we'd seen. One of the kids was hot, turns out both Moo & I were checking him out... then he said he was 17. Dear Lord... I either dig 'em young or real old! I don't think I've ever drooled over anyone in their 20s... strange. I needed to get some sudafed or something so I decided to waltz around town until I found a pharmacy. Someone told me that a nearby mall had a CVS... took me at least an hour to find the damn place, buy some cold medicine and get back to where Moo was. Doors still weren't open but a line had formed and the crackwhore showed up.
The crackwhore... oh MAN talk about fucking COMEDY!!! I know it's not nice to point and laugh at people but I couldn't help it. Apparently while I was gone I'd missed quite the show. This chick shows up, drunk outta her mind and clutching onto a flask of booze that she stored down her underwear. "Cum-spattered tube top, scrawny pre-pub tits..." heh heh... kidding, well, not really. I bet there were jizz stains on her tank top. This chick shows up and cuts right in line, rambling about something. I wasn't there so I can't fill in all that happened but Moo says she was quite the spectacle. She made it WELL KNOWN that she wanted on GWAR's bus and wanted on NOW!!! Anyone that walked by, part of the GWAR camp or not, was either groped or verbally attacked by her. She was rubbing up against everyone, trying to kiss everyone, anything to get her grimy fingers on a pass. She also had people sign her tits, ass & snatch... oh God. Gotta love your fans, HAHAHA!!! The guys in Six walked by with a camcorder and she dropped her pants and lifted her shirt to show off her trophy signatures. Meanwhile EVERYONE in line is laughing at her and I doubt she realized it. I really wish I coulda been there to see her make an ass outta herself and everyone's reactions but they say everything happens for a reason. Besides I woulda missed out on the free cookies I snatched from the hotel I cut thru on my way to the mall. :)
I get back and everyone has a petrified look on their face. They're all whispering, "OMG... hopefully she doesn't come back!!" I asked, "Who? Who doesn't come back?" and they all nearly busted out laughing and told me the story. "Yeah, she was ALL OVER *so-and-so*, ('guest' who stayed w/Moo & I a few nites)... HAAHH I couldnt' stop laughing, picturing him trying to fight off this crackwhore cause he always talked about hating germs or dirt. I wanted to find him and ask 'bout his new friend but then as SOON as they were done telling me about all her shenanigans, here she comes! Oh man she was nasty... sure enough she takes her spot back in line and recognizes me as a new face. She starts rambling to me about how she was walking around and hanging out by the buses trying to get on. "No such luck, huh?" I teased. "Ohh don't you wurry! I'm gonna git on that bus... gimme a few minits and i'll duu it!" I think she had all of 5 teeth too. I smiled at her and wished her luck... one of the Bloodlet guys walked by, unaware of what he was walking into. She spotted his laminate like bees to honey and jumped at him. During this entire conversation she was running her hands all over him and rubbing her skanky body against his... he tried to back away... "Hey baby!! I want on that bus, won't you bring me on??" she whined. He backed away and said, "Um that's not my bus so no, I can't.." She pleaded, "Well don't you know them? C'mon, tell 'em I'm yer gurlfriend!!" she said. The look on his face was priceless.. "I'm NOT your boyfriend, hell no!" he said. "Wanna see sumthing?" she smiles. All the kids in line turned their heads away in horror, I guess they knew what to expect. She drops her pants and lifts her shirt, showing off her trophies. Oh man I nearly yakked... I didn't need to see her sagging tits! Not that mine are perky themselves but God I'd hate to think I'm gonna sag like this chick... eeewwww. She looked all dirty, AAHHHH!!!! The Bloodlet guy tried so hard to keep composure... "Gee, that's nice..." he said to her. "I bet you're proud!" he started to walk away and she got all pissed. "Well fine, I don't need yer help! I'll git on there myself!!" She ran off again and everyone started to laugh. "DAMMIT I wish I hadn't gone to the store!" I said... I wanted to see all this shit go down! Finally the poor guest who fell victim to crackwhore's advances (well, one of the MANY who she attacked) appeared while Moo & I were looking for a bathroom. "Hey, I heard about your new friend..." I started. "Who?" he asked. I started to crack up, "You know, 'that chick'..." His eyed widened, "UGH, GOD!!! So fucking disgusting, shit... she was kissing me and wouldn't get the hell away, I ran inside and scrubbed myself with rubbing alcohol... GOD she's nasty..." Moo & I almost pissed ourselves.... "Hey, you gotta love all your fans!" we said. He shuddered and went away to wash away the memories, I suppose. Since it didn't happen to me, I thought it was hilarious as hell. Moo & I still giggle about it.
Doors open and the barricade is perfect Moo/Lis height!!! One of the best setups the whole tour, perfect view, perfect nite! Great way to end it all I guess... of course I didn't think it was my last time, I still thought I was going to Richmond/D.C. shows...
Wanted to get our shirts from our "last show" signed so we approached 'Balsac' and 'Jizmak' who were at the bar. The nite before, this guy had 'Jizmak' sign the back of his shirt and he wrote "FAG!" with an arrow pointing to the guy's head. I wanted something mean like that too! So I asked him to put something like that... "Nah, you're too nice..." WHAT?!!? Too fucking nice?!! PPFFFTTT!!! You never seen me when I'm on the rag, that's for sure. I whined & whined until he gave in and scrawled, "SLUT!!" real big on the front. Okay, mission accomplished! I got some strange looks for the rest of the nite.
Crackwhore was nowhere in site but some of the kids we were standing with said they saw her walking around. Oh!! One of her "great stories" was how she got kicked outta the club the last time she was there cause she was too drunk. I wanted her to stick around so I could continue to point & laugh... God I'm a bitch sometimes.
The show starts and Moo & I were real worked up, AHHHHH!!!!! Our last show for awhile, Moo's last till lord knows when... depressing in a way but the show was awesome so we didn't wallow in the thought of this being "it"... We were hit hardcore, everyone knew it was our last nite so we were really aimed for... NEXT!!!!