tripnine3

TRIP NINE - STILL GOING...

So God Bless those hand warmers!! And whoever had a sense of humor enough to let this 'band' called "Goblet" open the nite up. WTF was this?!?! Moo & I laughed and laughed and laughed our asses off, everyone else either looked on in total disgust or laughed along with us. We knew it was a joke, whether it was actually funny or not isn't known but I guess if Moo & I were busting a gut, it was funny. These 4-5 guys came out in ridiculous masks (one was a cyclops, one a wizard, one a wolf, I forget the others...) I think one played a keyboard, the rest sang but not even real songs, it was just awful!!! My guess is someone at a local radio station got real fucked up and decided to do this... but they even had shirts for sale! Or at least handed some out, we saw one guy walking around with a Goblet shirt on, the back read, "Kneel Before the One-Eyed Monster"... I thought it was a hoot, definite way to get our attention.
And the barricade? WHAT BARRICADE?!?! Now, in Jacksonville it was cool because the stage was low enough to where we could sorta hang on. But the stage was real high and there wasn't even any wall up in front of the stage. As in, if you are short and a crowd pushes, you are pushed underneath the stage and possibly lost forever. Moo & I had to result to gripping onto the amps or the carpeting with our fingernails. Luckily I hadn't cut mine in awhile. When Six & Bloodlet were out, there was a pit going and everyone was a part of it except for the folks in front row. Moo & I were being hit with bodies and kept being pushed under the stage, UGH this is gonna drive me batty!!! And they were some rough motherfuckers too... the 2 hot guys outside were trying to form a barrier around us, that was awesome.   Too bad Moo & I didn't switch, the guy SHE thought was hot was protecting me and the one I woulda jumped was protecting Moo. They were cool as shit... I won't bitch about the fact there was no barricade tho cause it's cool to be close and Moo got some more "special attention" that nite.
I unfortunately had to get myself all freaked out before the show. Nope, nope, nope I didn't start drinking. I already swore off alcohol at GWAR shows since I obviously can't control myself to a normal human level. Moo & I decided that we were going to drink after the show in our room and proceed to get so fucked up drunk to the point of puking. Ahhh there's another story all it's own. But yeah, I ruined something for myself! The only analogy I can really think of is "finding out you parents are the easter bunny..." Even tho Moo & I knew who all the folks were under the costumes it's still something you don't wanna see/think about cause it's kinda freaky when you had that "incident" as a small kid and were freaked out of this band ever since. A curtain dropped after Bloodlet finished up, that was a first! Usually we always saw the show get set up before hand. But the curtain didn't drop all the way, it stopped just as it touched the top of the amps. I happened to be one of the few people who's face was right inbetween 2 of them. So I had a good view, esp. since my chin was barely resting on the stage. I wasn't paying much attention until I started to see feet. But not feet, I mean FEET... the costume feet. I tapped Moo, "Hey look, feet!" She gave it a poke and said, "Um, you gonna look under the curtain more to see who that is?" since neither of us recognized "The Feet"... curiosity killed the cat, they say! Well the reason why we didn't recognize the feet is cause it was Jizmak walking around and we never saw him as it was, the drums are too far back. But NOOOO wtf were we doing, we didn't wanna see them in costume, and his mask was off. Moo quickly turned away cause she was getting creeped out. I had to stare like it was a bad car wreck. Of course I kept watching in horror as ALL OF THEM hit the stage in costume but without the masks... talk about one of the scariest moments of our entire trip. "Moo, oh noo... there's (so-and-so) and (so-and-so) just waltzed out too..." Moo scolded me, "Lisa, stop looking!!! Yer gonna get all freaked out..."   Too late. I guess my parents really are the easter bunny... and santa claus too for that matter. This was just frightening... I kept looking until I think Moo pulled me away. One of those moments you never thought you'd hafta deal with! We always thought it'd be cool to get some pics with them in costume but we'd be way too freaked out and traumatized so we never asked. Or tried. We're pussies, yep.
The show started and wow, I can't see!!! But we got nailed with enough filth so we didn't miss anything!!! And when you're that close you not only feel everything more intense cause you're so close but you (unfortunately) smell everything alot better. Mmm, rubber. ACK! It's bad but usually I'd be wearing enough perfume or deoderant so I'd usually wallow in my own stink instead. 'Oderus' wasted no time in saying hi to Moo, he walked over and stepped RIGHT on her head and stood there for quite awhile, leaving a large 'foot' smothering her face. I could see her tiny body flailing and squirming while the rest of the crowd howled laughing at the site... when he finally backed off her eyes were almost out of her skull and she screamed to no one in particular, "OM-FUCKING GOD THAT STUNK!!!"   BWHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!    The look on her face was priceless cause she was smiling the whole time, she knew she wanted it. At every opportunity, he'd come back over and pee in her face, positioning the cuttlefish just inches away from her head and looking right at her while blasting a load all over her. It's so cute to see her smile and squirm under a stream of piss or jizm... ain't nothing quite like it!!! We were viciously nailed since it was pretty easy to get us... 'Tyson' always aimed for us and the biledriver always found us. I wonder what it looks like from the front of the stage, to be one of them looking down at all these screaming psychos who are begging to get jizzed on. Gawd it sounds so sick but ya know it's all about the context!!!   Moo & I later saw a picture from Atlanta, a shot of the crowd snapped before the show. Moo & I were so tiny, it was us among a sea of giants looming around us. And we held on somehow... I wonder how pitiful it looked from up there! I guess bad enough to where 'Beefcake' took pity and handed us water bottles nite after nite, including New York.   So we couldn't see a damn thing but enjoyed the show, finally!!! The 3rd nite and we're having a blast!!!
After the show was fun, ran into the parking lot where we were greeted by someone asking for a ride home. "Um, we're not going in the same direction as you are..." I told him. "Why, where ya going?" "A bit further south.. check out the license plate," I told him. "FLORIDA?!?!" he said. We smiled and nodded... "You drove from FL for this show?" he said incredulously. "Yeah, FL plates, right?" He answered with, "OMG, you girls are nuts!!!" and he went off and told someone else, "Those girls drove from FL for this show, holy shit!!!" Yeah, that's right buddy! Moo & I did our striptease and noticed tons of other people doing the same thing along with us... awwww, nothing like that aftershow ritual.
The un-named poor bastard who stayed with us in Jersey came along with us that nite too. "Just don't be taking forever!" we scolded since he usually took his sweet ass time gathering stuff. We joked that he was building a toothbrush from scratch but really figured he was rubbing one out. We warned him that Moo & I already planned that this would be a nite of heavy drinking, he didn't seem to care. Heh heh... until you try and sleep!!!
Got to the hotel, forgot that we had bras and underwear strewn all around the place. Showered and got down to some drinking... bought some cokes to mix with our Jim Beam (Jim beam is NOT your friend!!) and munched on some McDonalds... God bless 24 hour McDonald's drive thru!!!
Getting shitty drunk is fun, especially when it's out of range cause it doesn't count when you get home! Some have the 500 mile rule... Moo & I have the "out of state" rule... anything we say or do cannot be used against us in the court of decency/stupidty! Moo & I were taking shots or pounding the whiskey & cokes at a rapid pace... guest wasn't really drinking, rather kept backing away from us, afraid our stupidity was contageous? Moo & I kept flying around the room, I kept pulling my pants down and snapping pics of my ass or videotaping my ass. Did I mention that some of this shit was caught on video? Ugh... I still haven't shown this to friends. I don't remember much but I know the remainder of the nite involved more shots, horrible singing, kicking around the bedding, said guest constantly running away to the other side of the room but yet encouraging us to keep drinking. WTF? He reasoned that if Moo & I got trashed enough, we'd pass out and he'd get a decent nites' sleep. HAHAHAH WTF-ever! I don't usually pass out too early... I have to act retarded and pull my clothes off first! Moo kept yappin at me to pull my pants back up, I woulda been embarassed if I had any shame left. But no. Moo eventually took her last show that would soon result in her puking all over the place. AfterMoo & I poking and hitting each other, she was out like a light. Guest tried to sleep, I started bitching that I wasn't ready to go to sleep, dragged Moo up, she wasn't very animated tho, guest ran away again, NEXT!!!