| TRIP FOUR - DBX/Disarray |
| "I don't need no rules, just a license to drive my life..." |
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| WHO: Melissa, Moo & I WHEN: August 13th - August 17th, 2002 WHERE: Houston, San Antonio & Austin, Texas WHAT: Those 2 bands again... WHY: Cause Lis was always drunk and still hadn't seen a show... "Hahahahahah... they're gonna be freaked out!" we laughed as Moo & I packed up our bags, ready to bail to Melissa's to pick her up. Damn, we'd all seen quite a bit of each other the past week! And now we were going to be in each other's faces 24/7... this was a big deal, our longest roadtrip to date! And furthest... we used to think that 1,200 miles was a long way to go for some shows. Worth it, but a long drive. Heh heh... fools! After putzing around Walmart till 2am we finally hit the road, singing and videotaping most of it. Before we even hit Gainsville my poor little Bianca (my car, for those of you in the dark) started making noises and pulling all ove the road. We stopped at a rest stop, ugh, the tire on the front passenger side looked funny. Had to put on the spare... called the older sis who's kick ass with mechanical shit... "When a super walmart opens in the AM, take it there and get it balanced, that's probably the problem... but take it off and put on the spare!" she recommended. Okay, sounds easy enough! Not when the spare is flat tho!!! *sigh* We were there almost 2 hours piddling around, changing the flat, trying to fix it with "fix-a-flat" and debating whether or not to continue with the trip... God, what a scary thought!!! Melissa was delirious and unknowingly started our most precious roadtrip tradition... Charlie. While I was fussin with the tire she snatched the camcorder and started videotaping a nearby trash can, calling it Charlie and talking about the good 'ol days. You gotta know Melissa to understand... we were cranky and cracking up, awww, Charlie! From then on out, everytime we took a roadtrip that required us to use I-75, we'd stop at Charlie and take pics, film it, etc... the only time we didn't greet him was before the SC/NC/GA/FL GWAR trip and my trip to Charleston/Richmond in early 2003. Other than that, I kid you not, we always paid homage to "Charlie"... he's at the I-75 northbound rest stop one exit into Gainsville... on the car side, when you pull up, park to the right just before the sidewalk that leads directly to the bathroom. He's not the first garbage can before you get to the railing, but the one right before it, close to the "CAUTION: POISONOUS SNAKES!" sign. Aww... Charlie. After driving 50 mph in the slow lane for hours, we hit up a super walmart and had the tire balanced. Then Melissa took over driving while I slept... she thought the car seemed fine, compared to hers. I fell asleep and didn't even feel the motion of the car anymore. Woke up around noon and the car was shaking again. NOO!! Pulled into another super walmart in Alabama, turns out the front driver side tire was all shredded and about to blow. Shelled out more money for that, waited a few more hours. By then we were 6 hours behind schedule and praying we'd make the show!!! We had no other troubles/stops until I was about an hour outside of Houston and got pulled over for speeding. Again. 77 in a 55... but who the fuck ever heard of an interstate where the speed limit was 55? It wasn't even a construction zone. Grrr... slammed with a $125 ass-raping. Got to our hotel, raced upstairs, showered and changed as fast as humanly possible, getting to the club after 10pm. Disarray was onstage and noticed us walking in, said something but I forget what... the looks of, "huh?" on their faces was great... no one could believe we showed up... the one who'd been telling us NOT to come to Texas came up to us, shook his head and said, "You girls are crazy!" AH, that was the FIRST time we heard that but certainly not the last... it would echo for months and months by a ton of different voices accompanied by various eye rolls. I was so proud of myself, I STAYED SOBER!!! Moo snapped an awesome pic of me in the bathroom that nite, it's in the 'Roadtrip' photo album, with the greenish tint. Love that pic. So I enjoyed the show sober and know what? It was hilarious anyway!!! We couldn't wait for the following nites... after the show was amusing... very amusing. I forgot to mention a certain obnoxious freak who I won't name but was on the tour... he kept hitting on Melissa to no end and was suggesting fucking her in Orlando. We normally were able to avoid the guy, but eh, sometimes he'd just stick around and never leave. Like Houston. We headed back to our room with some of the camp and he decides to follow, UNinvited, mind you! Moo had an offer to hang with the other camp but declined cause she didn't have any clean clothes with her. She would then continue to kick herself all the way to San Antonio. But up at our hotel, we drop our shit on the ground and start making sleep arrangements. So the "obnoxious one" starts getting pissed off!! "WTF?!? I thought you girls were gonna party with us!" Party with you? Fuck that, we can barely stand you. We just drove all fucking nite, we're tired and hafta drive tomorrow. "Um no, we need to sleep, dude..." He pouted and nearly threw a hissy fit! "You guys all suck, I thought I was gonna have some fun with you girls, but fuck you!" and made some sorta comment about us being teases. Oh whatever... if he wasn't part of the camp I woulda snapped at his ass but I had to be polite, esp. if I'd be dealing with him for many shows to come. But talk about whatta way to ask for some action! Let me enlighten you; Throwing a hissy fit and calling me names, not a good idea. Pinning me on a bed in room 157 at a La Quinta Inn till I'm in tears? Not a good idea. Undoing your pants and grabbing me by the elbow, trying to drag me into a bathroom after a concert in Massachusetts? Definitely not a good idea. Chasing me into the stockroom at work and ramming your hands down my shirt? Not a good idea either. Flirting and being hit on is most flattering and always appreciated but not if yer gonna call me names and whine like a bitch and get all huffy. Fortunately he got so pissed off he walked out. WHOOOHOOOO!! Even another in the camp admitted he was a total freak and only tolerated him. So we hit the hay, peacefully slept! Melissa kept farting on me all nite, I'd blast some back in her face... good fun! It poured all the way to San Antonio and Vance read to us from a Henry Rollins book... we cracked up for hours. Got a hotel, showered and cleaned up, then headed to the venue. We were real early but fortunately the club let go in and sit. You know... people accuse Moo & I of being weird, crazy & deranged fans. I beg to differ. We met a pure specimen in San Antonio. He seemed nice enough, at first. Moo, Melissa, 'Balsac' & I were sitting at a table when he comes up, introduces himself, then starts drooling over 'Balsac'... he's going on and on about how he started a GWAR religion in school, got a tattoo, his life revolves around GWAR, sacrificed small animals in their name (eh, this is questionable...!) etc.... meanwhile I can see that 'Balsac' is actually getting a bit spooked by this kid. I decided to "take one for the team" and "jump on the gernade..." NEXT!!!!! |