| TRIP EIGHT - CON'T!!! |
| We thought we were being all smooth and going unnoticed! "Alright, plan of action? Quietly walk from our car to the front door and sit, don't make alot of noise, try not to get noticed!" We were hoping they'd hit the stage and just see us up front and roll their eyes. We even bought an extra jacket with us to cover up and keep warm cause we knew we'd be sitting out there a long while. Whew! As soon as we stepped outside DAMN IT WAS COLD!!! BBBRRRR!!! We knew it was gonna suck after the show, having to get back to the car and change clothes when it's going to be freezing out. We prepped our clothes and had everything laid out in the backseat, towels and all so we could do it as painlessly as possible. Unfortunately the bus was parked on the same side of the street as we were... make a run for it! We started to bail down the sidewalk and just as we were talking about how we'd passed the bus and weren't going to be seen, one of the weirdos emerged from the side door and stopped us in our tracks. "What the hell are you girls doing here?!! You're crazy!!!" He said something along those lines. "Aww dammit, we didn't want anyone to see us!" Oh well! Noble effort! He invited us in and it was pretty damn cold so we went inside and headed straight for the stage. "Umm... are we going to stand here for a few hours?" Moo asked. Eh probably not. We'd be booted before the doors opened for sure. Found the bathrooms, ran into more weirdos, all of whom said we were nuts. Found out that Cattle Decap. wasn't going to be playing that nite, that was lame. We wanted to say hey to those freaks too! I guess the Bloodlet crew noticed the aimless, blank looks on our faces so they took pity on us and let us hang out in their room backstage. No one could believe we showed up... neither could we! But after all the shit we went thru to get there, damn straight we're gonna go! We poked at the shit in the fridge, looked like frozen dead bodies... babbled about the freezing weather that our FL bodies weren't used to! People kept coming in and out, saying hey, hanging out... probably one of the best "before show" times we had the whole tour! There was just a cloth curtain separating the 2 rooms, unknown to Moo & I at the time since it was silent on the other side. One of their road crew finally asked that question Moo & I hadn't heard in a few weeks. "So, are you girls groupies or what? We keep seeing ya everywhere!" EEEgggads... "No, just here to see some shows!" Another one of them chimed in, "Hell yeah man, don't you see them front row everynite? They're here to get fucked up, not fucked..." Shit, even if Moo & I had other plans when the hell would we carry that out? While sleeping at a rest stop? While waiting outside for front row? We ain't losing our front row spot for anything!!! We learned that there was no wall between the rooms when we suddenly felt some sorta spray can spitting thru the curtain, sounded like something aerosol. Plates, forks and fingers were coming thru the wall and all of us gathered around the opening in the wall and threw shit back, we acted like middle school kids for awhile. Since we knew they could hear us, we started talking shit 'bout them real loud but kept cracking up halfway thru, dammit! Couldn't pull it off. Know that feeling how if something ain't yours or you shouldn't be there, you'll never feel comfortable even if you're invited? The room next door was GWAR's room and I felt real uneasy even just passing it. I guess I somehow knew what would happen there after the show? Who knows... but damn I couldn't shake the feeling of being so uncomfortable, pretty strange feeling. Moo & I said we'd fix someone's hair so we went next door and I almost couldn't walk in, I felt so strange. The ominous sign on the door that said something along the lines of, "If you don't have a pass keep the fuck out!" wasn't helping any. We got to listen to one of them being interviewed, that was cool to hear! Got freaked out by the sight of the empty costumes again, I wonder if I'll ever shake that? It was getting close to the time for the doors to open so we split. I'd already purchased tickets for the show and they were being held at will call so I wanted to go and pick them up. Uh oh... Moo vs. Lisa, Round # 5,439!!! Within seconds we were fighting like bitches over, "Should we go outside & pick up our tickets?" or "Go in thru the backdoor"... I was all for going in line and getting our tickets cause I didn't wanna feel like a mooch & just walk onto the floor from the backstage area. Moo wanted to go in thru the back where we were because, she had a point, if we walked outside and went thru the line, we'd NEVER get front row. Before we could bring out the claws and start punching each other, one of the Bloodlet guys saw us outside arguing and asked what was up. "Um, do you girls want to come inside?" Moo finally talked me into it, the whole "front row!!" thing did it. So he walked us in and the floor was already filling up with people. I found a spot way on the right but it was close to the front. Dammit, tall people in front of us! So I tapped the guys, "Excuse me... my sis and I are real short and can't see, can we stand in front of you?" fortunately they were cool about it and let us up. AHHH front row!!! And not just front row, but front row with a perfect barricade! No longer would we get our tits smashed and bruised against a barricade that stretched up to our necks. This barricade fit nicely just under the ribs. Our fight long forgotten, we were happier than pigs in shit at our spot!! OMG, another show! IIIEEEE!!! Some of the kids next to us expressed their disappointment at Cattle Decap. not playing that nite. We talked about that for awhile, eventually our story came out of our trips and everyone around us was in awe. "So what's the show like, do they do 'this' or 'that'?" Out of nowhere some of the Cattle Decap. guys appeared.. what?! Thought ya'll were supposed to be in Cali! I guess they stuck around for one more show... that was awesome as hell! Speaking of awesome as hell... what some of them would later call "one of the worst shows on the tour" would be Moo & I's best time!!! We knew what to expect so we knew what we'd been missing for 3 weeks. We were so psyched... the usual ritual of me grabbing onto Moo's arm and shredding it till I saw blood was in full swing. Remember how I said this was our singing trip? Our nerves were so shot and frayed we couldn't calm the fuck down... we had to sing. We started singing our heads off, horrible, cheesy obnoxious tunes, anything to keep us calm! We didn't care 'bout the stares around us from folks who raised their hands to their ears to block out the horrendous wails from Moo & I of, "Oh Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!" Hey we're sorry, it's one of the last songs we heard on the road I guess. In the book I'm writing for Moo I managed to fill up pages and pages of just how excited and freaked out we were before the show. Non-stop grinning, bouncing up and down, AHHHH!!! Ya know, if we stood there and waited 3 more hours I bet Moo & I still woulda had the same stupid ass smiles on our faces cause we knew what was coming. Sure enough the familiar smoke and dimmed lights... "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!" Moo's eyes were fixed on the stage, I kept tapping (okay, more like pounding her in the shoulder) trying to get her attention, she ignored it. Suddenly I couldn't yell... I stopped cold. Just like the first time I saw Cooper where I cried instead of cheered cause I just was overcome with something... I could hear Moo screaming, my hand went over my mouth, eyes bulging and I don't remember if I cried or not. Moo eventually saw me standing there like a statue and grabbed my other arm, raised it up and shook it around, "C'mon Lis!" but omg I couldn't! I guess I got too excited to the point where I just stopped and couldn't move. Gee, I can't wait to see what I do when I finally get some sex. I can see it now... getting all horny and happy, starting to really get into it I stop like a corpse. "Lis? Um... Lis? Shit, did I kill her??" How embarassing. So the lights came on and the show started, I was still standing there frozen... until I was hit with a blast of blood. Ahh they changed around the show a lil bit, no quadraplegic chick, now it's melvin being decapitated and spraying the crowd. I finally moved to wipe some of the blood from my eyes then I howled in pain. WTF happened?!! Did they put soap in the blood?! My eyes were on fire and it smelled just like soap all around me and BOY this shit was REAL slimy and sticky. I tapped Moo, pointed to my eyes and screamed that they were burning. She shrugged, nothing happened to her but she did acknowledge the soap smell. It seemed the more I rubbed my eyes the more they burned so I just let everything hit me without taking a swipe at it. Eventually my eyes stopped burning. But my face was a sticky mess and all slimy... it was a good 15 minutes before I remembered that Moo & I had our hands in hair gel before the show and didn't wash up before hand. Dammit, lesson learned!!! The "Lessons Learned" for this show will be longer because some of them didn't fit after the first show... we were so psyched during the show! Easier to breathe than other ones and nice, low barricade... NEXT!!!!!!!! |