| TRIP EIGHT - STILL GOING!!! |
| There were some changes done to the show but it was still awesome. We always high-fived whenever we'd get "special attention" during a show... like when 'Slymenstra' hocked blood all over our faces in Ft. Lauderdale or me getting attacked by one of the 'slaves', 'Oderus' pissing on Moo, that sorta thing! During the IL show, 'Slymenstra' came out and I don't remember exactly when but she walked over to where Moo & I were standing, pointed at us both then rolled her finger around towards her ear, signaling to us we were fucking crazy. "YEAH, WHOOOOO!!!" we screamed. We're nuts. They took good care of us if they noticed one of us was in pain, like 'Beefcake' constantly bringing water bottles over during most the shows, he handed us some in IL too. There was a huge guy behind Moo who kept crushing her while trying to get up front. We tried to push him off but he was pretty strong. One of the 'slaves' noticed this and crawled over, got right in his face and yelled at him to get the fuck back, "THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, BACK UP!!!" The guy bitched something about how Moo shouldn't be there in the first place but he eventually backed off. He gave us some water too, I think Moo accumulated 5 water bottles during the course of the evening! Could barely drink 'em all... we didn't want the show to end!! Of course we wanted more show but we also knew just how damn cold it was gonna be and trying to peel off soaking wet clothes outside in the freezing cold is painful. We later learned it was in the upper 30s that nite but with the wind chill it was in the low 20s. Damn. Brrrr. The show ended but Moo & I smiled cause we knew in 4 days we'd get some more! No surprises either, everyone knew we'd be showing up in Jersey. But here comes the hard part... going outside and changing clothes. We took a deep breath and headed for the doors. The doors were open and we could feel the cold blowing in. Know what it's like to jump into an ice cold pool?! Yeah, bad bad feeling. Sorry to reveal "Too Much Info" but it was so damn cold I couldn't even fold my arms across my chest because my tits were frozen causing much pain if any pressure at all was put on my nipples. YYEEOOWWTCH you know it had to be cold. "Alright Moo, make a run for it!!" I cried. We walked outside, omg it actually hurt to move. "C'mon Moo, c'mon!" I kept pleading... "Almost there!" I guess when you're so damn cold nothing else clicks or sinks in, as in what's going on around you. I don't recall going around the corner. Someone stopped us, can't remember who it was. "Where are you girls going?" "Tttooo ttthheee cc-ccc-ccaarr tto ggggiiittt ourrr ddd-ddry cllooothheezzzz!!!!!" we chattered. "Oh, get your clothes and change inside, shit!" he said. Thank you whoever you are! I seriously cannot remember who it was... got our shit out of the car and omg, stepping back inside was like heaven... ahh the warmth! As we passed everyone they were all, "OMG girls, get dressed or you'll freeze!" Yah no shit! We're trying, heh heh... the bathroom was absolutely disgusting. I told Moo I'd "break it in" for her first and use it. It was so dirty tho you didn't even wanna put your shit on the floor. I had to be pretty creative to change clothes: Sat on the toilet, put bag of stuff on floor... took off shoes and socks, dried off legs, pulled on boxers, dry socks and dry shoes... still sitting on toilet with feet not touching ground, peeled off wet shirt, put it on top of wet shoes, threw bra off too, dried off, pulled on sweatshirt... threw all wet stuff into bag, hopped off toilet and ran... "Alright Moo, here's a system that works!" and I explained how to get everything off & on while not touching any part to the floor. I sat on the steps outside the bathroom door and chatted with some of the Bloodlet and Cattle Decap. folks. "So you're hitting up 4 more shows, huh?" "Yep! This weekend!" "Soo... that means you girls are driving back to FL tomorrow, getting home Tuesday nite then leaving Thursday nite?" "Well, no, we're leaving right now, as soon as Moo's dressed we're outta here!" I said. "What? You're NUTS! You gotta sleep!!" one of them said. Yeah, that's what rest stops are for! We're on a budget! One of the GWAR camp came by and chatted for a bit and I learned another lesson. If you're wearing wide-legged boxers with no squirrel curtains underneath and sitting on the steps with your knees up, everyone will see that you're lying about being a pre-op tranny. And lord knows how long they've been looking before they tell you, "Ya oughta not sit like that if you're not wearing any underwear..." before I could ask how he knew, I thought, "DOH!!!!" and threw my legs down. Moo came out, went back to Bloodlet's room and broke out the blow-dryer. Ahhh now Moo & I were totally dry, hell, I can run around outside now without any problem! Our friend we met in Chicago (who's place we stayed at after the DBX show) was there and we said hey to him. He went back over into GWAR's room and asked us where we were sleeping that nite. We said a rest stop somewhere and he thought that wasn't right. It's a funny story but I don't know 'bout telling it... we'll just say that he had a noble thought but it didn't work out the way he planned. We were in the room that I'd had a creepy feeling about and a very intoxicated Brockie was in there raising hell. Our friend asked if Moo & I could hang with them tonite, Moo & I begged him, "NO, it's alright, we don't want that, we gotta go home!!! We don't need help tonite..." and I guess Brockie took it as Moo & I were asking for a big favor. He proceeded to freak out on us hardcore, saying some rather mean shit to us, Moo & I were all, "WTF?!?!" but didn't take it too personally since we knew he was fucked up. He keeps going on and it's getting real ugly, Moo grabs my arm and says firmly, "LISA, let's get the fuck outta here!" When she says "LISA", you know things are bad. I couldn't agree more... we both fled in terror, ripped up the stairs and shot outta the club running like hell towards our car. We were stopped by the friend who'd tried to get us a room. "I'm sorry girls," he said. "Dude, it's okay! We tried to say we don't need a room, we don't even have time, we gotta hit the road NOW..." And we were beyond ready to race home! Oops, we also had to deliver a video that Moo'd compiled of our roadtrips for one of the GWAR camp who wanted to see it. You sorta feel bad, like a walmart cashier ringing up a censored CD for someone... the tape was edited out quite a bit, probably unknown to him. He said he was gonna go watch it that nite so we definitely wanted to get the fuck outta there before we could be questioned! I flipped on the camcorder in the car and Moo said, "WTF was that, sheesh!!" referring to what's now called the "IL Brockie Incident"... Our friend and Brockie both came over to say bye, he was much more calm! Moo & I had some Steak 'n' Shake then headed to our rest stop for some sleep. I woke up about 6 hours later violently ill... wtf?! I threw open the car door and bolted for the bathroom, knelt down in front of the nearest shitter and tried yakking my brains out. Tried gagging myself, nothing worked. After 20 mins of dry heaving I gave up. Then proceeded to eat some greasy McDonalds for breakfast. We sang all the way home, of course. It was a LONG haul!!! Had to pull over and sleep a few times and we talked about what shit to just leave in the car since we'd be bailing again real soon! OMG we were so excited!!! All this shit would happen again in a few DAYS!! Well, we could do without Brockie yelling at us but even so it was sorta flattering to know that you struck a cord in someone. Got home and scrubbed the hell out of my face and skin, trying to wipe away all evidence! I was supposed to be bed ridden, or something. Rubbing Oxyclean into your skin with a metal file works wonders, by the way... LESSONS LEARNED: - Girlie issues! This shoulda been discussed after the first GWAR trip. Simply changing your pants and top isn't enough. Infections just loooove to loot dark, wet areas. Uh huh, you guessed it. A raging yeast infection is NO FUN and preventable if you change and dry EVERYTHING after the show. This may include giving people in the parking lot quite a show but it's worth it. Besides, who in MA, NY or RI knows you anyway? Change that underwear after the show! Towel drying don't count! - Periods suck on the road. You either wear a tampon and don't change it for hours b/c you're busy waiting out front or you wear a pad and it absorbs so much blood/piss/jizm from the show that it's probably uncomfortable. Heh heh, ask poor Moo! Learn to get in tune with your body and tell it you don't want your period at certain times. Swear to God it works! - Wearing boxers with no squirrel covers and sitting on the steps? Not a good idea unless you're feelin frisky - Wash hands before the show if you've been playing with hair products. Don't wear alot of hairspray or makeup to the show either... it's not only just gonna wash off but it gets in your eyes and mouth and doesn't taste goood. ROADTRIP PAGE!!!! |