Patrick was drawn to Heather because......well, isn't it obvious?
Heather was drawn to Patrick for his shoulder-length rock star raven tresses,
back in his OCTA days. Their brief affair ended when shortly after Patrick cut his hair
he took Heather to a Bon Jovi concert. Big mistake. One look at their flowing locks and
she was lost. However Patrick & Heather remain the best of friends and he was invited
to the bash when she married buddywasisname, you know, the guitarist.

Patrick then found Winona. 'Wow, I love your hair,' she said. 'It's so short and spikey.'
He was flattered when she copied his 'do, and it was styling bliss untill one day Patrick
came home and found her using his special imported hair gel. He had warned her before
about messing with his stuff. 'We could have been something big, baby.' he said regretfully
as he got into a taxi and drove out of her life forever.

Patrick managed to get backstage at a Breeders concert, and met the very friendly
Deal twins, Kim and Kelley. So began their cozy l'il menage-a-trois. Everything was
going swell untill K and K had a falling out. Kelley ran off  to form TKD6K, and Patrick
didn't know what to do  with just one sister. 'Sorry Kim, it's both of you or neither of you.'
Kim has never recovered from her crushing heartbreak.

Don't be fooled by the Murph's theatrics at that Juno award ceremony. Shania may have
hugged Chris, but it was Patrick who was really tuning her guitar backstage. If you look at the
video footage you can see her slip Patrick some country vixen tongue as she gives him the
'I just won an award and have to embrace the presenters' kiss. They of course took pains
to hide their affair; scandalous flings with rockstars aren't good for her wholesome image.

Weary of the brunette babes playing havoc with his heartstrings, he looked
for a different woman. In came Meg, so sweet and blonde and petite. They shared
a loft and perfected crepe suzettes. Then one day Patrick woke up to the fact that
all her cutesy-ness was really fucking annoying and anyways, she was never home.
He left a note on the bed 'I took the crepe pan. Bye.' and flew back to Halifax the same day.