Monday, March 19, 2001

Weight: 132 pounds

Here I am, the start of another week. Though I am a pound heavier than I was on Wednesday, I am a pound lighter than I was last Monday, so I'm somewhere between stationary and maintaining my weight. That golden 129 is eluding me for the moment. So...another weekend, another way to throw all caution to that 1200 calorie a day limit. It started with Saturday, which I was doing very well at until I went to a party and found myself sitting around the food table which included french bread and numerous gourmet cheeses. Though I stayed away from the other fat-laden things, those cheeses were too tempting and I had at least 8 or 9 ounces. Determined to do better on Sunday, I was twarted again by a friend who wanted to go out to eat. Though I did very well with just a large turkey burger, I wolfed down the bread that was part of the appetizer. Not as bad at the cheese, mind you, but I didn't feel as if I had 'made up' for Saturday.

Overall, during the beginning of my diet, I was avoiding tempting food about 95% of the time. Now it is about down to 80%. Which isn't like a total relapse. I managed to not eat one of the doughnuts at the office today. I didn't have that tortellini salad at the party on Sunday. But I feel like I am 'slipping' more often. Which now that I look at it, may be partially because of boredom. The excitement of holding to a diet is wearing off, and I am fighting the urge to indulge more often. Exercise is becoming less of must-do. I have to revive and spice up my weight loss plan. Perhaps try walking now that it is getting warmer. Try new low-cal foods.

I've also experienced times when I have eaten in social situations and not known exactly how many calories were in a food. So I eat it, and then because I can't figure out the calorie content, I consider the whole day "blown" and I eat other things without counting calories as well.

This coming weekend is another party, this time with John, and I know it is going to be another temptation situation with all the breads and cheeses and yummy casseroles and stews. I should remember not to let my eyes be bigger than my stomach. I think once I can see the 129 on the scale and know that I am down into the 20's, that will be a big boost to me. Because that will mean I have made it beyond the half-way mark, and have been thinner than I have ever been in my adult life.

Tuesday, March 20,2001

I exercised this morning because John is staying over tonight and I won't get any other chance today. I have developed this abbrieviated workout of doing 15 minute of hard cardio from one tape, and then doing another 15 minute toning circuit off of another tape. I consider it maintanence to keep my metabolism purring throughout the day. Though as it is getting warmer now, it leaves more opportunity for outdoor activity. John and I went for a brief walk last Thursday. I'm going to suggest going out for a walk after dinner tonight, too. He has very long legs so when we walk it is at a pretty good clip.

I've had about 2 or 3 comments today about my weightloss, which has been nice. One from a woman who was about my size saying that "lost a lot of weight." I don't consider 15 pounds therabouts "a lot of weight". Perhaps 20, perhaps 30, but there are still areas that I want trimmer. My stomach a little, and my butt and hips. I can definately see an improvement, but when I lay down on my back, I see that the padding on my hips is spreading out. I want to be leaner without losing essential curves. It is possible that I will look stunning enough at 120. And I am prepared to make 120 my 'high end' weight for my lifetime.

I've also come to the conclusion that a mid-afternoon snack at about 4 p.m. is very good for me to eat even though that means I have less calories to eat at home at night. After reviewing my eating logs, I have found evidence that when I eat a snack at 4 in the afternoon, I eat less when I am home for the evening. The evening has been when I have had my slip-ups. So I'm going to actively plan a 150 calorie snack about 4 p.m. to see how it affects my appetite at night. I'm also going to try some new low-fat snack foods such as making yogurt cheese and graham crackers. I've also taking a great interest in seeing how recipes can be modified to become lighter.

Also very good news is that thanks to Clinton's student loan relief legislation, I got a very large tax return. While I am planning to use it to cancel my credit card debt and put some away into savings, it also means that I have other income freed up to buy a new wardrobe once I have lost another ten pounds or so. I'm so looking forward to a sexy pair of black leather pants!

Wednesday, March 21, 2001

Yeah! I have been invited into the Weigh2Fitness Yahoo Webring! I have renewed hope that this is actually reaching an audience. It's a small Webring so far, with only 7 or 8 sites, but it looks like it just may be starting up. I still wonder and worry how many people have the opinion that I shouldn't be trying to lose weight simply because I am currently 'normal.' But I think we all can measure success in our weight loss plans with different 'yard-sticks'. Many of the women (and the few men) with web-pages out there have a hundred or more pounds they are working on losing. And more power too them. We come in all shapes and sizes, and there are so many women that look stunning no matter what size jeans they wear. I don't want to be necessarrily 'model thin.' I want to be sexy with curves her and there that are toned, not jiggly.

This morning at work I had another "lost a lot of weight in a short time" comment; this from a woman that is thinner than myself. I wonder if because I am not sharing everything publically, being a private person that I am, that I am being viewed as someone doing something "unhealthy". Poo! It has taken me 8 weeks to lose about 13 pounds, which is well within healthy weight loss perameters. It will likely take me another 8 weeks to reach my goal of 115 - 120 pounds. Is it jealousy? Is it true concern? Some have asked me my secret, and I just tell them I "watch what I eat and exercise more frequently." Are they looking for a magic pill? A pact with the Devil? Nope. There is nothing magical about it. Just moving more and eating less. Okay. It's time for my 4 p.m. snack.

Thursday, March 23, 2001

Not much to report today. A big Nor'easter is dumping a lot of rain and wind on us, which is foiling my plans to change my workout routine to include a good amount of walking. Bleah. I went to the local superstore over my lunch break and bought a box of Splenda - the sugar substitution made with real sugar - to use as replacement for the sugar I normally use in my tea and oatmeal. I'm not quite sold on it. Not for baking, at least. A cup of Splenda to replace a cup of sugar would cost about $3 more than the regular sugar. I'd rather get the extra calories and save the money. I figure it will only save me about 60 calories a day, but hey, that's another piece of toast and low-sugar jelly to enjoy elsewhere.

I've recently become very interested in low-cost, low-calorie foods and have invested in two or three cookbooks. I have this habit of periodically getting really into cooking, buying several cookbooks, and then letting them sit for a while. Last string of interest I had lead to the "Joy of Cooking." Now that I am looking for leaner alternatives, I'm becoming familiar with alternative low-fat cookbooks. The challenge is, of course, making all these scrumptious dishes and then realizing all the leftover food that I may have is really a waste. I noticed this when I first started reducing my calorie intake: that pre-packaged spanish rice that John had as part of his dinner one weekend went to waste because it was too high in calories/serving for -me- to fit it in anywhere. There was also wasted pork chops and chicken too. In these past couple of weekends when John and I have been away has been great! I haven't had to go shopping at all because I don't eat much at home. Of course, the weekends that I'm not eating at home means that I am subjected to buffet tables. Tommorow night I have one social pot-luck event, and the next day another party. Though I have recently found my 'groove' again and think that I will be able to steer towards the healthy alternatives. Cheese has no power over me!

Friday, March 24, 2001

Portions. Portions drive me mad when I am shopping or trying to figure out the calorie content of a food I am preparing. Get this: raisins. A cup of raisins has 435 calories! That's over 1/3rd of my daily calorie allotment! It amazes me how many calories healthy foods can pack in. Now mind you, 435 calories from raisins is different than 435 calories from potato chips. More fiber, less sodium, more good-for-you vitamins. But still. Erg. How did I get set off on this? Well, as mentioned on Thursday that I have to prepare tonight for a potluck. Last Christmas my mother gave me some really good advice: if you want to save money, make deviled eggs. Everyone loves them and they are cheap! Now, being the calorie-conscious person I have become, I wasn't about to load my deviled eggs with tons of yolks and mayonaise that my mother uses in her recipe. Nope. So I turned to Mr. Ornish's everyday cookbook for his recipe, which replaces the yolk with blended garbanzo beans. I even splurged and finally bought a blender last night. I used what I had on hand to make this wonderful (but extremely garlicy! Oops!) filling. Garbanzo beans run at about 420 calories per can. Very calorie dense. So the lesson is: it may be 'non-fat' but that doesn't mean you can go to town on it. I figure 2 eggs will probably run 50 calories. Compare that to 2 regular deviled eggs at 150! Of course, this was the first time I made the filling, and it wasn't the perfection my mom creates with a pastry cone. But given several more times and I may just reach perfection! It's amazing to me how much the regular person tosses butter and mayonnaise and oils around without pausing to consider the nutritional content. I'm becoming more convinced that healthy eating must be conscientiously learned. While I have learned more about regular use of regular vegetables from John (a plus), he also pan-fries his meat in oil (a minus). I'm beginning to explore new food-prep techniques to reduce the fat and calories. I wonder how many people just go about their business, cooking how their parents cooked...

As I was cleaning up my kitchen, I found some candy bars that my mother had given me at Christmas that I still hadn't eaten. I tucked them away with the party-sized Kit-Kat's and Valentine's M & M's sent by my mom that are still unopened. Fortunately, chocolate is not a 'trigger' food for me. I can pretty much ignore it. However, don't get me near a melted-cheese dish: fried mozzarella sticks, pizza, even macaronni and cheese I like to splurge on. I've also managed to keep potato chips out of the house, which coupled with sour-cream dip is one of those things I feel I just can't stop eating. One of the keys to keeping off weight is to not have high-fat tempting things around the house.