Monday, April 9th, 2001

Weight: 130 pounds

This is a big day! I am half way to my goal weight of 115 - 120. These last few weeks have been a hard push towards it. For about a month I was battling a couple pounds that seemed to creep up on me during the weekend. But I have gotten past that with renewed dedication, experience, and some new information underneath my belt. So I am looking both in the past and towards the future today. First, I want to tell you about my weekend with my mother, and then I will go on and tell you about what I have learned from my experiences to eat healthier and lose weight.

My weekend started early, because on Friday I took the day off from work in order to spend Friday and Saturday with my mother who was visiting all her relatives on the East Coast after she had finished with her conference in Boston. I can't believe what an eye-opening experience it was simply watching her eating habits for the day as we shopped and dined. Firstly, that Friday after I picked her up, we went shopping at a mall. While we were traveling in the car I asked her if she wanted one of the tuna sandwiches and applesauce I had packed for lunch. She had the applesauce but didn't touch the sandwiches. Then when we arrived at the mall about a half-hour later, we went looking for a bathroom. After the bathroom, my mother made a bee-line for the McDonald's in the food court and proceeded to order a single cheeseburger. I, of course, having filled myself up with the tuna sandwich just an hour before wasn't interested in ordering anything. She ate the cheeseburger 'on the run' as we shopped. Knowing that she had also had a PBJ on the ferry made me cringe about all the fat she was packing into her body. She described how she had gotten sick of all the 'health food' at my aunt's while she visited there.

Cut to dinner. John, myself, and my mother had all gone to a family Italian restaurant. While I ate a minimum of the bread on the table, my mother ripped into the loaf and proceeded to slather her bread with the whipped butter there. And she also had a salad, and she also ordered the fettucine alfredo. I was counting the calories and fat intake to myself in horror and grim fascination. And then she suggested going out for ice cream the very same night! I couldn't believe what horrible shape her diet was in. That slight weight loss she experienced in the fall last year when she "kept nothing in the house" was eclipsed by all the available food her co-workers bring in to work plus her tendency to choose high-fat foods.

Cut to breakfast the next day. I made us both apple pancakes. Rather than choosing to top mine with syrup and butter, I chose to use sweetened applesauce. She used over 3 tablespoons of butter and maple syrup. My breakfast was approximately 300 calories. Her's was approximately 700. Same number of pancakes, nearly as filling. At lunch, she ordered a roastbeef & cheese sandwich with fries. I ordered a vegetarian hamburger. Mine: 500 calories (max), Mom: 800 - 1200. No wonder she is overweight. I have renewed conviction in my ability to change my eating habits and remain slimmer than my mother at her age. Midwestern eating habits are clogging her arteries.

Despite the fact that I was taken out to eat on Friday night, Saturday afternoon, and Saturday evening, I managed to make very good choices such as pasta fagioli soup, a vegetarian burger, and a vegetarian taco salad (hold the sour cream and guacamole). That is what allowed me to stand proud on that scale Monday morning, knowing I had been a 'success' nearly all weekend, and my weight showed it.

I have made it half-way. On reflecting back, I understand some of the errors that I made and I want to share them with you, and hope that you will learn from them as well:

1. Commercialized diets don't last. When I first started losing weight, I did the Slimfast plan. But that grew old. And yes, it does leave you hungry after a couple hours. This is what stopped me from continuing on the plan. I started thinking about those 440 calories that I was consuming every day while I religiously drank my Slimfast. And I started thinking about what other things I could eat with those 440 calories: 4 bananas; a sandwich and salad and apple; etc. And suddenly Slimfast lost all of its appeal.
2. Don't have high-calorie things in large quantities around the house. A binge on apples ain't gonna do as much damage as a binge on ice-cream or cookies. If I bake, I'm going to bake in quarter batches so I can't over-indulge on these either.
3. Bulk up on fruits and vegetables. It's hard to overeat these. While in the past I have largely eaten carbohydrates as a staple, I'm making the switch to fruits and vegetables because you can get a lot of food-weight for very few calories. The Dr. Ornish creations and the Volumetrics plan have this idea to heart. I know that this is going to make my grocery bill go higher, but who wouldn't pay $50 more a month to eat until full and not gain weight.

I find as I am learning things, I am continuing to revise what I eat. I hope by the end of the year I will have learned more skills in creating a healthy lifestyle for myself. I also hope that by the end of June to be closer to 120 than 130. Over and out.

Tuesday, April 10th, 2001

Not much to report. I'm still feeling very good about the fact that I have 'broken' the plateau I was on and have done very well these last couple days with my calorie intake. On Saturday, after my mother left, I went out shopping and got myself some new clothes. I haven't had this much 'retail therapy' in a long time. I bought 2 new pairs of jeans. My old jeans were baggy on me and had all the knees ripped out and weren't in any kind of real shape to be in public. I couldn't believe it, but I fit into a size 4. There isn't much room to spare, but I fit. And it gave me renewed motivation to continue my weight loss. In another 3 months those size 4's may be a big loose on me.

My bike also came back from the shop, already for a new season of riding. The problem is not that I don't want to ride my bike, but that with all the traffic where I live it is difficult to find a place that is somewhat safe to ride. My idea is to at least enjoy extended rides during the weekend at various parks and paths. Maybe take a few day-trips to scenic bike routes.

I've given myself a new reward to go after. When I reach 125 pounds, I will reward myself with a bed canopy net at my favorite house ware store. Just the thought of sleeping under something that romantic banishes cravings for cookies.

Wednesday, April 11th, 2991