Hasheesh was caught and arrested for dealing illegal drugs and he was sent to a women's prison due to men's prisons being overpacked with crack dealers. He found good use for his four arms in the women's prison: laundry duty. One day, he found something very surprising in the laundry. This strange thing was a chicken's left foot. Thinking to himself that chickens' feet were good luck, he kept it. Alas, he didn't realize that it was really rabbits' feet that were good luck.
In fact, the chicken foot would actually grant him four wishes, one to each toe. So, Hasheesh cooked it in a chicken and crack pie. Unfortunately, this chicken and crack pie became magical and as he ate it he turned into a chicken foot himself! This was just the side effects of the pie because he was wasted. But, he was still a foot, and small enough to escape through the drain hole in the washing machine. He did just that.
Unfortunately, he was caught by the evile crack whore Madeline. She realized that chicken feet could grant wishes so she wished for twelve arms, but Hasheesh managed to escape. He told her that he had left his stash under his bed, so she let him go get it. Now that one of his wishes was gone, and he was back in his cell, his cell mate, Big Bill, noticed a chicken's foot under his buddy's mattress. But as Big Bill reached for it, some guards came in telling him he was being transferred to a regular men's prison.
So Hasheesh got his stash and ran for the door. Alas, his stash was just a collection of old radish skins. Hasheesh wished to smoke it anyway. As he ran out the door of the prison, he realized that the guard dogs were fed chicken feet. Hasheesh wished he could run faster and as the first dog bit him on the butt, he tore out of the place. As he got onto the road, a sleigh ran him down. Santa was late with his deliveries.
Hasheesh used his fourth arm to throw Santa out of his sleigh and his other three to fly it. Happy with his new sleigh full of toys, he flew it home. Hasheesh began to make more pies immediately. He still had two more wishes left, and those wishes were to dance like a monkey and eat chicken crack pies. After these wishes were granted, he became his regular self again.
The next day, Hasheesh happened upon a lamp, which he rubbed. Out poofed Barry Manilow. Barry said, "Hey my crazy cat, why are you dressed like a woman?"
Hasheesh looked down, realizing he was wearing a madonna outfit, and he began to scream. Hasheesh then busted out the moves from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video while singing "Like A Virgin".
Barry look at him and left, "There's no hope for the kid." he muttered.
Hasheesh shouted out, "Wait, Barry! Don't leave! You complete me!"
Barry turned back, "Well, what's your name? I'll consider stayin', only if I know your name."
"My name is Hasheesh Wehadababyitsaboy, and I work in a button factory."
Barry asked, "I thought we had a girl?"
Anyway, Barry and Hasheesh decided to go to Disney World. They rode every ride seventy billion times. Finally, Barry turned to Hasheesh, "So, how 'bout we buy souvenirs?"
Barry and Hash proceeded to look at all the souvenirs, and Barry finally picked out a chicken's foot. Hasheesh, on the other hand, picked out a block of cheese for his mother, and a lucky chicken's foot for himself.
Barry made a wish on his chicken foot and *POOF* Britney Spears appeared in front of them, fully clothed. Hash's face dropped...fully clothed? Dear god, this must be some sort of sign! Hasheesh made a wish on his chicken's foot and Spears disappeared.
Hasheesh let out a squeal, and as he did an old man appeared in front of him. This seer had warned him in a previous life about the five Disney characters, but alas, Hasheesh couldn't remember which characters they were. He thought to himself, think Hasheesh, THINK. Just then, Mickey Mouse tapped him on the shoulder and laughed his mousey laugh. "How are you? Do you mind telling me how much this cheese is?" Mickey asked.
Hasheesh screamed like a woman, "You're one of the Disney characters!!"
Mickey looked around uneasily, and stole Hasheesh's cheese. With his cheese stolen, Hasheesh began wandering around aimlessly. Hebumped into Donald Duck. Something clicked in Hash's mind, and he realized that Donald was another Disney character. Donald began to talk, which is usually pointless because no one can understand him. But Hasheesh could understand him. It was crazy, but Hasheesh did as he was told: He began to sing, "Crazy, but it feels right, baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night..."
Suddenly, Minnie Mouse appeared, batting her eyelashes at him! You see, while Hasheesh had his back turned, Mickey had transformed into a girl. As Minnie was batting her eyelashes at Hasheesh, she was putting him under a deep spell.
Hasheesh had the sudden urge to skydive for some odd reason. (Perchance it was Minnie's spell?) Anyway, Hasheesh gathered all his courage and jumped off the arch in St Louie. Alas, poor Hash had someone else pack his parachute, and they had tied a longknot in it. Therefore, it didn't open when he pulled the string. Instead, an acme anchor fell on his leg.
