| FAQ2 |
| Q: So what kind of things do you like doing in your spare time? A: Pretty much the same thing I do in my non-spare time. Q: Which is...? A: Nothing. Q: Nothing? A: That's right. Nothing. Q: So you're pretty much a useless bum who contributes nothing to society? A: That's one way of looking at it. Q: You should be shot. A: That's not a question... Q: I don't care. I hate you. A: DELETED! Q: What? A: Nevermind... Q: Okay... So anyway, what are you up to now? A: I'm typing an FAQ. Q: No, no, no, I mean what are you up to in general? A: I'm going to college at Shippensburg University. Q: How the hell did you get into college? A: Computer error. Q: I don't get it. You seem smart, but you're so lazy. Why? A: I don't know. It's just the way I am, I guess. Q: You're lazy, and yet you take the time to do shit like this? A: Uh, yeah, I guess so. Q: Isn't there something better you could be doing with your time? A: Sure. There's something better everyone could do with their time. Q: What do you mean? A: Instead of going to college and earning a degree so you can make lots of money and blow it on things you don't need, you could volunteer in a soup kitchen or at the Humane Society and do something that actually helps someone else in the world. Q: Well then how would I get a job that makes enough money for me to get my Mustang, thereby reaching the highest level of society? A: Fuck Mustangs. Drive a cheaper car, like an '87 Chevy. Q: YOU CAN'T PIMP OUT AN '87 CHEVY!!! A: What's your point? Q: All the cool people drive a cool car, so I want to drive one, too. A: Life isn't about material possessions. Q: Are you one of those religious freaks? A: Maybe, depending on your definition. Q: Do you go to church all the time? A: I don't go nearly as often as I should. Q: Do you read the Bible? A: No. Q: Why not? A: Because I don't. Q: Don't you agree that because I read the Bible and go to church all the time that I'm a better Christian than you, and that you'll probably go to Hell while I'm enjoying Heaven? A: We're both going to Hell, buddy. I'll save a seat for you. Q: What religion are you anyway? A: Catholic. Q: So you're not a Christian? A: I don't know why so many people don't get this. Catholics are Christians, too. Q: Oh. Were you ever molested by your priest? A: No. Q: Were you ever molested by any other priest? A: No. Q: What's up with that anyway? A: I have no idea. I'm not a priest or child molester. Q: One time I asked a priest if he would touch me... A: Next question, please. Q: What's your favorite kind of cookie? A: Uh... chocolate chip... What does that have to do with... Q: Would you let a priest molest you if he offered you a chocolate chip cookie? A: No. Can we change the subject, please? Q: Sure, sure. How about your mom, bitch. Let's talk about her. A: Fuck you. Q: Have a cookie. A: Ooh, thanks. |