| Let's pick on men instead of blondes... |
Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Opposites attract. Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? A. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. ONE. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. Q. What did God say after creating man? A. I can do so much better. Q. What do you call a man with half a brain? A. Gifted. Q. What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name. Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes. Q. What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man A. Big Foot's been spotted several times. Q. What's the smartest thing a man can say? A. "My wife says." Q. Why are all dumb blond jokes one liners? A. So men can understand them. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts. Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Q. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? A. Because not one will stop and ask for directions. Q. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men A. When it's time to go back to his childhood,he's already there. |
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