| You know it's a bad day when . . . * You wake up face down on the pavement * You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold * You put your bra on backwards and it fits better * Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles * Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business * You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last night's party - and there aren't any * You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city * Your twin sister forgets your birthday * You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed * Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway * You see the "60 Minutes" News Team waiting in your Office * Your boss tells you not to bother to take off you coat * You walk to work and discover that your dress is tucked in the back of your pantyhose * Your kid say "Did you know that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet?" * Your driving to work smoking a cigarette. At a stop light, you drop it between your legs. As you frantically search for it, a full city bus pulls up alongside of your car. * You wake up to late to catch the van pool - then you realize that you're driving the van this week |
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