Preparing for court was
possibly the worst day of my life other than when I had discovered my mom. I
had to stare in the face of my father and prove that I would be better for Dawn
than he would. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and smoothed out imaginary
wrinkles in my suit.
“You will win Buffy.” I
just shook my head. I knew I couldn’t compete with a father who had money
coming in from everywhere whereas I had money going out from everywhere.
I had no idea what this
lawyer was trying to prove about me. I knew that Dawn had had her problems
while living with me but overall she was a good kid and she was doing great in
school. I knew this guy was going to try and tear me to pieces, my lawyer had
tried to prepare me for that, the questions my lawyer had asked me were nothing
compared to the ones his lawyer was going to. My father’s lawyer had aged badly
since the times I had seen him when I had lived at home but he sill terrified
me. His meanness unlike his looks hadn’t diminished with age.
“Buffy do you think you
would be a good influence to your younger and more impressionable sister?”
“Yes.” His look was full of
scorn.
“Well let’s refresh your
memory of your more colourful activities and then you can reconsider your
answer. When you lived here with both your parents did you or was it some other
Buffy Summers burn down Hemery High’s gym?”
“I was 15 at the time and
my parents marriage was in a very bad patch in fact my mother and I moved away
only weeks after.”
“We are not here to discuss
your parents marriage. Did you burn down the high school gym?”
“I was trying to explain
what I was feeling when I did it.”
“So if your excuse is your
parent’s turbulent marriage what is the reason for your being wanted by
Sunnydale police for the murder a young girl?”
“I was cleared of all
charges. Kendra is the young girl’s name and she was friend. In fact the only
reason she was in Sunnydale was to visit me. The fact she was killed and one of
my friends had his arm broken and another friend was in a coma because they were
meeting me in the school library for a project has deeply hurt me. I feel awful
about the fact that it was my fault they were there but I couldn’t stop what
happened happening.”
“Yes I’m sure but correct
me if I’m wrong but were you or were you not again questioned by the police
about a murder.” I looked at him tears almost spilling from my eyes now.
“Yes.”
“In fact this wasn’t a
school, friend this was the Deputy Mayor of Sunnydale.”
“Yes but I was only
questioned and I wasn’t arrested or any charges brought.”
“After being cleared of the
murder of Kendra didn’t you leave home with no word to family or friends,
leaving them to worry about whether you were dead or alive?”
“Yes.”
“Would you class that as
responsible behaviour?”
“No.”
He sat. My father looked
like he was about to burst he gave me a look that told me he would do anything
to make sure I didn’t win. The judge looked towards my lawyer and he stood.
“Ms Summers could you tell
the us how long ago it was since you left home? Also at this point I would like
to point out that Ms Summers returned home an altogether better person. She had
no further trouble in school or her social life except for the small blip from
when she was questioned about a murder that not only did she not commit but was
grossly mistreated about.”
“I ran away 4 years ago.”
“Which places your last
problem about 3 and a half years ago?”
“Yes.”
“Ms Summers when your
mother was ill did you continue with your life?”
“As much as possible of
course I did miss more classes because I had to be with her and look after
Dawn.”
“Did you continue at
college when your mother died?”
“No.”
“Why?” he was trying to
make me look good and I prayed that it would work. I dared to glance at my
father and the smugness made me lose the shred of hope I’d just gathered.
“I felt it was best for me
to drop out so I could get a job and be a full time mom to my sister. She
needed me. We needed each other.” I gladly fled to my chair feeling like we
were fighting a losing battle. My lawyer gave me a smile meant to reassure but
it did nothing.
My father moved with a
confident swagger in his step. My lawyer stood and moved to face my father.
“Mr Summers when did you
last have contact with your daughters before making the initial contact for
claim of custody?”
“Well I have been extremely
busy with my business work and had to make a lot of long trips.”
“Just how long exactly?”
“About 2 years.”
“When you heard about your
wife did you not feel a trip to see your daughters was a good idea?”
“Well I had to sort some
things out first.”
“It has been almost 9
months since your wife died and you feel that it is only now that you should
bring your daughter to LA.”
“Well I had to clear up my
business affairs overseas so I wouldn’t be away from home a lot.” The exchange
between them continued my lawyer doing an excellent job of proving who my
father really was. My mind was trying to understand what had made him suddenly
take an interest in Dawn. Of course it was something I wouldn’t understand just
yet. But later I would be told. Eventually my lawyer sat and his lawyer began
the questioning to make him look better. I slipped in and out of paying
attention. I heard one of the questions and the answer that followed made me
almost physically sick.
“Mr Summers was your
relationship with your daughters affected in anyway by your relationship with
Mrs Summers?”
“Yes after I had phoned for
about the 8th time in one day always with the reply that they were
both either out of busy my wife told me to leave them alone. I felt that was
unfair so kept trying, I sent letters and called but still nothing. After about
a year I decided to give it time for Joyce’s wounds to heal before again trying
to talk to my daughters.” From the look on the judge’s face he believed him.
After a long tiring day in court it appeared like my father was ultimately
going to win. I returned to Angel’s offices knowing Dawn wouldn’t be there
tonight. He wouldn’t let her see me I knew.
I was relaxing in the room
I was using. No one else was there, I assumed they were out on a case although
I didn’t know where the baby was. The muscles in my body ached from all the
tension in them. I needed to be back home with my mom and my sister, a happy
little family. I heard a noise downstairs and recognised Angel’s voice shouting
me. I moved slowly ad descended the stairs.
“Where are the others?”
“Gone home. Connor’s…”
“What’s that file?”
“It’s a copy of the birth
certificate of the girl you wanted me to check out.” He held the file out to me
and I grabbed it eager to prove that my mother was still the person I’d always
known. But I had shot myself in the foot. I saw the names and knew that man had
told me the truth. This girl was my sister. Angel started to talk about his
son. I couldn’t handle it. I jumped up flinging the files behind me. I struck
him if the stomach and began to rain punches and kicks onto him. He tried to
control me but realised it was no good. He began to fight me. I knew he was mad
at me for not understanding and for ignoring his son and the truth, but I was
more than just Buffy to him I was everything, Wolfram and Hart, the vampire
cult and everything and everyone who was hurting him. And to me he was
everything. He was the reason I was brought back. He was my father and his smug
self-assured lawyer. He was the damn court. He was my mother and the man she’d
had an affair with. He was Darla and he was Connor. He was Haillie and he was
Spike. He was Angel too and he was Angelus he represented all in my life that I
hated. We struggled in our fight releasing months of pent up feelings. It was
getting rough but it didn’t matter. I didn’t realise until Angel, who I had
pinned to the floor beneath me, reached up to my face and wiped away the tears
that I was crying. Exhausted both emotionally and physically I fell forward and
just lie on him crying. He wrapped his arms round me and let me get rid of
everything. He understood me. He knew that the only way I really knew how to
deal with my anger was to fight ad he’d let me and now he was comforting me.
“Angel I’m losing
everything. I lost my mom, I lost my life, and I lost peace. Angel I was in the
most amazing place and they pulled me out of heaven. Now I’ve lost my sister
and the memory of my mom. And I’ve lost you.” He exhaled deeply. He arms
tightened round me.
“Buffy what has happened
you can’t change. I regret my night with Darla but I love my son. Your mom is
human, she made mistakes but that doesn’t change who she was. You haven’t lost
Dawn, she wants to be with you and we have so much stuff on your dad. And Buffy
you’ll never lose me. I’m yours and yours only.”
“It’s not fair that she
can…without you becoming…she gave you something that I wish I had. I wish we
could be together and I wish I could give you a son.”
“Buffy you’ve given me more
than Darla ever could.” We were interrupted then by a loud bang and the cries
of Angel’s son. Angel moved quickly and I fell back.
“They’re come again. I
won’t let them take my son.” He ran towards the stairs and practically flew up
them. I wished that I didn’t resent Connor. I realised now that whatever my
feelings for him were that Angel was important and the truth was this was the
same fight I had been fighting only months ago for Dawn. I got up and ran up
the stairs.