Wanted: Mid level administrator/supervisor. We are currently seeking a petty, small minded, and uncreative individual to stymie, frustrate and hinder our current workforce. Qualified individuals should possess a limited mental capacity, a strong sense of entitlement and superiority as well as a vindictive streak. Applicants should have no empathic ability whatsoever nor should they be at all familiar with the day to day operations of whatever it is they are supervising. Are you ready to make several other people miserable for no good reason other than passing shit down the line? Then you might be the bean counting, soul-crushing automaton we're looking for. EOE.
What is this? Some sort of nuance of phone etiquette I'm too coarse and uncouth to comprehend? Has Emily Post declared "Hi, I'm from SWiBFE. Is this CompanyName?" unbearably vulgar? Or, possibly, is this person overly cautious from having been lied to once too many times? Does she have a history of calling, say, laundromats and pizza joints that just pretended to be the very offices of the very people she was looking for (and so slyly that they gave their false names before she even spoke), and she lives in mortal fear of the entire phone universe as a great big web of deceit? What?
It's obviously a very, very petty first-world miniscule kind of problem, but it's mightily irritating, and over the past six months the number of calls like this has increased exponentially, which is what makes me feel like maybe I'm missing some big cultural shift that everyone is in on but me.
Why no, I'm not bitter, because that would be unattractive.
It is so annoying because Turtle leaves at 2:00, so the least Kathy can do is be back by 2:00. But, no-oo! Kathy has to take her lunch as late as possible. I don't know what is up with that shit!
And then, she brings the smelliest shit for lunch. Like today it was pork and beans or something rank and squicky. Pork and beans are actually pretty good, but whatever she was eating was putrid! And, of course she has to have the door shut all the time, so the smell gets caught in the room and you're stuck smelling whatever she ate for the rest of the afternoon! It doesn't bother her, because, you know, once she finishes her lunch, it's time for her to go home.
Whenever she weasels her way into having us pick her up food, she leaves it sitting there until everyone else is done eating and then she'll "leave for lunch". Not that she actually leaves. She couldn't get that fat ass out of that chair if her life depended on it. And why does she wait? She figure she's superior to us and has to make sure her little employees finish their lunches before she is allowed to take hers?