Um. I did this one day in school during recess then saved it on one of the classroom computers in the hopes that some unsuspecting classmate might one day stumble upon it and wonder just what this was...

Typing crap is good for you for several reasons. For one, it will enable you to exercise your finger muscles while not wasting unnecessary energy in your brain - if you are one of the lucky few who have one - to actually think about what you want to type.

You see, typing crap does not require you to have any intelligence beyond the basics needed to know how to move the appropriate finger muscles and press the keyboard keys one at a time to form words. Of course, it would help some if these words actually form sentences with the ability to communicate some meaning or other to the reader, but this is not absolutely essential in crapped up paragraphs.

You know if you have a problem with typing crap if, like me, you just spent the last five minutes or so wondering just how to continue or editing bits of the previous paragraphs. The truly skilled crap-typist would not need to bend to such low levels. He or she should ideally be able to continue typing without a single break in between, whether it be to think about what should come next or to edit any mistakes found in the text.

This usually results in bad spelling, grammar, punctuation or sentence structure, but a slight degrading of the English language should not worry a skilled crap-typist, for such things are unimportant. (I do not disagree, however, that there are times when such things are important; for example, it is usually a good idea to check back on your work during the English composition component of the 'O' Level exams if you do not wish to get a bad mark and ruin both your foreseeable and unforeseeable future as a result.)

The expert crap-typist would have a smooth flow of thoughts, meaningful or otherwise, enabling him or her to be able to type without the time-wasting process of actually thinking. You may not be aware of it, but thinking is simply an overrated aspect of life that tends to waste a lot of precious time that could be better spent elsewhere doing something more productive.

For example, what causes procrastination? Thinking, of course. The procrastinator looks at a piece of homework - say a Biology assignment that requires you to make a paper spinner similar to the Shorea fruit, examine how it floats to the ground, make adjustments by changing one or more variables, see how they affect the paper spinner's flight, plot clear and accurate graphs to represent this, come to a conclusion and finally print out the thing and bring it to school - and thinks, Wow, this is hard. I think I'll conveniently forget about it and go finish my A Maths assignment first before Ms. T kills me.

If the procrastinator never thought out that last thought, he or she would have most probably simply got down to doing said Biology assignment. As it is, the procrastinator chose instead to do an A Maths assignment, which everyone knows can be extremely time consuming if you do not know how to complete more than half of the questions.

Side note: If you find yourself unable to complete an A Maths assignment, one solution is to call Christina. Another solution is to just leave it by the side of the table for several hours while you have a highly productive power nap, and hopefully when you wake up, your mind will be clear and the secrets of the A Maths assignment will be magically revealed to you.

As proven, thinking can be extremely time wasting, something the skilled crap-typist would not be able to afford. After all, the whole point of typing crap is to, well, type crap. And crap should by right not be well thought out, for once it is, it ceases to become crap. Crap does not like to cease to become itself. This is one of the strange natures of crap, which in fact applies to many different things in the universe.

When done properly, typing crap can actually be a very therapeutic activity. What, after all, can compare to relaxing in your chair, eyes half-closed, with your hands on the keyboard making soothing regularly-paced clicking sounds with the keys? Who can type crap and not feel relaxed after a long day's hard work spent finishing a Biology assignment because Mrs. S.T. came after you to demand about its whereabouts?

Among the many de-stressing activities available nowadays, typing crap is by far the best.

Trust me on this, okay?

Fine, I admit the only reason why I'm doing this is because the INTERNET IS DOWN.

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