CHAPTER ONE

This is a mini online book about that wonderful, tasty snack known as marshmallows. These white wonders can be roasted on a barbeque grill, boiled to get sugar water, or just eaten plain. Within the pages of this sacred tome you will find, not so much marshmallow recipes, but conclusive scientifically-researched evidence that indeed, as some wise philosophers have before stated, marshmallows will one day rule the world. (Then again, they were the same philosophers who predicted that the orenge flieing pepars would be victorious over the sweemin perpel carots. They weren't. The sweemin perpel carots won in the end, and turned the orenge flieing pepars into vegetable soup.)

=+=+=+=+=

"For every reason exites to this, that marshmallows are yummy."

- Twelfth Barbeque

=+=+=+=+=

CHAPTER TWO

One day, marshmallows will rule the world. All the peoples of the world will fall prey to the might and power of the wonder that is a roasted marshmallow and acknowledge the greatness of this white wonder that tastes best roasted but tastes rather good eaten plain as well. Now, imagine that marshmallow in your mouth now; oozing with warm, honeyed sweetness as it slowly melts on your tongue. The salivary amylase digests it, and you swallow... Down the oesophagus the marshmallow goes, down into the stomach where it encounters the many digestive juices there. But we shall stop here; perchance we shall happen upon another oppurtunity soon to revise our Biology.

=+=+=+=+=

Marshmallows. So why will they rule the world? Well, firstly there is their minute size. Marshmallows have the ability to squeeze into the tinest spaces and thus gain entry into enemy camps. In sooth, a worthy attribute. Secondly, they are white - an excellent colour if one wishes to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Such great natural camouflage will always come in handy. Thirdly, marshmallows can be melted. When melted, they can unite together with their comrades to create an even bigger marshmallow. If enough marshmallows do this, one of unbelievably gigantic proportions could be created with the spectacular ability to quash any enemy, enveloping said enemy in a white, sticky goo from which THERE IS NO ESCAPE. Resistance is futile, pitiful humans.

=+=+=+=+=

"May the Marshmallow be with you."

- Sweet Wars

=+=+=+=+=

CHAPTER THREE

By now, it is probably already pretty obvious that this world is moving unmistakeably towards marshmallow domination. Disbelieve any of this if you will, but be warned... on the day the first marshmallows strike, you will not be spared. Then, be prepared to be met with a horde of marshmallows, each and everyone proclaiming what you, the sceptic, rightly deserves: "WE TOLD YOU SO."

Don't say I didn't warn you.

=+=+=+=+=

THE END

Reviews for The Marshmallow Book of Marshmallows (From the author's classmates):

"That is one crappy book." - L.L

"The author should be roasted." - A.C.

"I want marshmallows!" - A.L.

"AARGH!... *author's name censored*, I hate you! I'm going to kick you one day." - K.K.

"What kind of crap thing is this?" - G.L.

Home

All the content on this site © 2004 A.S.Q