Really Bad Poetry
On this page you will find archived some of the world's worst poetry. The first lot were written by me alone while on a school exchange programme in China, and among the second lot, two were written by two (second poem) or three (third poem) classmates and me on a day when our Literature teacher was absent. (We basically just took turns writing one line each, and later claimed to be 'writing poetry' during our teacher's lesson and had thus spent the time fruitfully.) Ode to a Mangosteen was the pioneer poem that started it all. It was written by me and three classmates. The last poem was done by my Literature class one day when we were bored, with each of us taking turns to write lines.
Despite being really bad, the following poems are still ours and therefore we own the copyright to them. Kindly do not reproduce them in any way. If you want to, you can link to this site.
Methinks we could give the Vogons a run for their money.
ODE TO A DEAD MOTH
A moth I see, and it is dead.
Gaze upon its mangled form on the green basin
That took its life
(The basin that I used to wash my underwear
With fragrant lemon-scented soap
That is now stinking up my closet)
Observe how the moth lies
So still
So silent
Solitary,
Squished,
Dead.
Half on the basin
Half on the floor
Moth body fluid all over the place
Perchance the moth's ghost will not return
To haunt us in our sleep
This is perhaps the worst poem I have ever written.
� 9 November 2004 A.S.Q.
-
ODE TO A STUPID MOSQUITO
Mosquito, mosquito
You stupid mosquito
Stop biting me
You stoopid mosquito
Mosquito, mosquito
I'll kill you, mosquito
Come back, you coward
Stop flying away.
Stupid mosquito
I'll squish you, mosquito
Great, now your blood is
All over my hands.
Mosquito, mosquito
You're DEAD now, mosquito
I said I would kill you
And now you are DEAD.
MUAHAHAHAHA!
� 10 November 2004 A.S.Q.
-
ODE TO A MOSQUITO
The mosquito flew around the room
It landed on my head.
I bashed my head against the wall
So now that insect's dead.
� 15 November 2004 A.S.Q.
ODE TO A MANGOSTEEN
The mangosteen awakes
It rises up out of the ground
It sprays purple juice
As its velveteen exterior glitters
And sparkles in the rain
But it doesn't sodding keep me awake.
-
ODE TO A CLOCK
High above the pains of life
High above the strains of strife
High above yon toilet bowl
My clock, with thee is my soul
Thou art mine only truest love
As thou hang so high above
Mine eyes, they moist and glisten so
Thine hands, they give mine life a glow
Thine face, whose beauty past compare
In love's game, all is true and fair
In thee I find mine destiny
I know mine fate lies close to thee.
-
THE LITTLE BOY WHO LOST HIS STONES
The little boy who lost his stones
Filled the air with mutters and moans
A troubled frown upon his brow
"My life, it really sucks right now."
The little girl who lost her bones
Somehow found the young boy's stones!
As she held the spheric weights
She looked above and thanked the Fates
"Oh, here lies my long lost stones!"
And thus she fled, forgetting her bones
The boy cried, "I had four, now two,
"Oh, someone tell me what to do!"
A dog came along and barked, "Woof woof!"
The young boy found stones on the roof.
And here ends this with saying wise:
"You lose your stones, you pay the price.
-
BUGS
The most hated things in the world are bugs
That's why they don't get hugs.
They are squishy and they are slimy
But some are very shiny.
Bugs are gross but I love them so
They're very nice to eat, you know.
A scrumptious delicacy they are indeed
But they don't help you when you're in need.
Sarah is bug queen, yay yay yay
But she can't bug me more than May.
If I could choose, I would be a fly
Though they don't live long before they die.
A mosquito, I would most like to be
Perhapas I'd rather be a flea.
Whee.
All the content on this site © 2004 A.S.Q