Welcome to a load of completely random thoughts that might not make sense. Warning: Not everything said here may be true. Use your common sense, if you have any... no, wait. You actually clicked on this, so how can you have any common sense? Hmm. Strange are the ways of the Force...
1. James Bond is a male homosapien.
2. And he has a lot of girlfriends, but he never gets AIDS.
3. In his shows, the good guys never die. In Home Alone, the bad guys never die.
4. You should never hold a lightsabre by the blade.
5. Ever notice how aliens always seem to land in America more than anywhere else?
6. Dinosaurs are not all extinct... there is still Barney...
7. ...who isn't a 'dinosaur from our imagination' but a man in a purple suit. We've been stiffed!
8. The Force is not with you.
9. The movie Evolution is probably the longest shampoo advertisement ever.
10. In Back to the Future, why do all the years they go to end with a '5'? (1885, 1955, 1985, 2015...)
11. Obelix is fat.
12. Why does Jar Jar Binks wear a skirt in Star Wars - Episode II?
13. You should not go to the dentist directly after eating Oreos.
14. Hamsters are cute and bite.
15. What happens when you scotchtape two lightsabres together, face to face, and ignite them?
16. Toilets stink if you don't flush them.
17. In The Truman Show, did they also film him while he was bathing?
18. You should not go back in time on reclaimed land unless you know how to swim.
19. Stickmen don't wear clothes, so are they considered pornographic?
20. Do heartless people have heart attacks?
21. There has to be a logical reason as to why the initials of Winston Churchill remind me of the toilet.
22. I can't say that my dog ate my homework because I don't have a dog, and somehow 'my brother ate my homework' doesn't sound very convincing.
23. If World War II never happened, there would be a lot more peace, a lot less dead people and a lot less history to study.
24. Darth Maul's head looks like a watermelon with thorns.
25. Will the sequel to The One be called The Two? And how about the sequel to Air Force One?
26. You can't wish upon a star if it's a cloudy night.
27. Were KIA vehicles Killed In Action?
28. Why does Yoda need a walking stick if he can fight so well?
29. So who is 'The One'? Anakin Skywalker, Neo Anderson or Jet Li?
30. My brother is an animal lover who's scared of animals.
31. Why was a Barney and Friends tape placed in the Adult Fiction Movies section of the library?
32. The Longest and Most Meaningless Movie in the World is very long and very meaningless, which is why I haven't watched it.
33. Kiwi fruits are the eggs of the kiwi.
34. There are 97 floor tiles in the kitchen of a certain house i visited.
35. When you flush an airplane toilet, what happens to its contents? Does it get sucked into the outside air? Poor birds.
36. Lightsabres can't cut through everything. They can't cut through nothing... or can they?
37. When time stops, clocks stop. When clocks stop, time doesn't stop. There's just somthing inherently unjust about this.
38. Don't drink and drive. If you hit a hump, you'll spill your drink. (Found on a class noticeboard)
39. Something tells me that I'm the only person in the world who talks to stationery.
40. When people get their memories erased, how come they still remember how to talk?
41. What's the point of pornography, anyway? All you have to do is take off your clothes and look in the mirror.
42. I have a sticker collection, a stamp collection, a seashell collection, a coin collection, a phonecard collection and a toilet roll collection (17 rolls and counting).
43. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to SUFFERING.
44. The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
45. The word 'ill' can be written as 'lll'.
46. Is mispronouncing 'Phuket' the equivalent of saying the F-word? If yes, I used to swear when I was really young.
47. You can't whistle with food in your mouth.
48. There are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese. So what happens to people's shoes when the cheese starts to melt?
49. A windbreaker is something or someone that breaks wind. (Contributed by a classmate)
50. Impossible situations cannot happen because they are impossible.
51. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and all the others can pass off as beautiful, but Snow White is the fattest of them all.
52. If the male of a goose is called a gander, is the male of a moose called Amanda? (Contributed by a classmate)
53. I keep getting nightmares about birds relieving themselves big-time on my head. Does this mean anything?
54. The books teachers put on reading lists are always the ones which are hardest to find.
55. My classmate has five hamsters named Kaya, Bread, Butter, Sunshine and Gardenia respectively.
56. The term 'Oral Examination' is so deceiving. It sounds so much like a dentist appointment.
57. What would happen if someone were to travel east across the International Date Line a few times in one day?
58. Time travel is possible. I mean, time doesn't stop, right? So it's moving, and if something's moving, you can say it's travelling...
59. Headless things can't be beheaded.
60. I've got the feeling that it's illegal to bury dead pets in public ground. Oops. Uh, if anyone happens to dig up a hamster skeleton...
61. Time flies like an arrow, fruitflies like a banana. (Contributed by a classmate)
62. Icecubes are cool!
63. I know this list promised 95 and more weird thoughts, but I've just run out so please don't kill me.
64. This was actually taken from a list of 145. I thought I would have at least 95 in the shortlist, but apparently that's all.
65. Sorry. Bye.
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