Confusion. That's all I seem to have. I don't know what I want. I want emotions but I don't. I want fun and excitement but I'm afraid of it all. I want guy one and I want guy two. I love guy three, but I can't have him. I think I like girl one and I know I love girl two. The thing with guy one is he's so much older than me, about seven years or so. He's so intriguing and knows all the right things to say and do. We shared an intimate moment once, and probably will again. Guy two is another story. He, too, is older than me, though not by very much. We were hooking up for about three weeks, but things just fell apart. I want guy two much more than I want guy one, but I had guy one between guy two and now. Guy three is totally different. I've loved him for a long time, and I almost had him by my side two years ago this month. He now has a girlfriend, but I'm learning to live with this. Had I not been such a fool, I might have been his girl. In the midst of all this falls girls one and two. Girl one is about the same age as guy one, and I've know her for as long as I've known him. Whenever I'm in contact with girl one, this feeling of awe and excitement takes over my body. She intrigues me as much as, if not more than, guy one does. Her playful, childish disposition, combined with one of knowledge and care, make her the most well-rounded person I know. Then there's the thing with girl two. I've known her for almost six years and we've been best friends for about that long. We've had our good times and our bad, but we've been together through it all. We're practically soulmates. We know what the other is thinking almost always, and we have this telepathic-like link with each other that makes any emotion that much stronger... I want guy one and I want guy two. I love guy three, but I can't have him. I think I like girl one and I know I love girl two. I want love and excitement but I'm afraid of it all. I want emotions but I don't. I don't know what I want. That's all I seem to have... Confusion.
Kristin Tone
February 2, 2000
3:06:38 P.M.
