A Walking Contradiction Sitting

Feelings and emotions I go to sleep on but can't take laying down... Never to be expressed in words yet I try to write them down... Fill up a broken heart and a soul I lost long ago

I'm dying... I feel the the need to express the secrets that I have never told... a person can never die without being on the verge of expressing the truth...

My lips stray from the words goodbye, peraphs because I know we'll see each other again, all in due time.... but what if time does not exist... or it does but only as an imaganitive figment..

So God forbid, if not in this one, then another lifetime (unless there is no life after death.....)

With my own lips...paper and pen, I prophesized what would truly be the last time.... it came to be... time crept up so unexpectantly

Occassionaly going for a dive, tho I don't know how to swim, bringing to the surface, one precious pearl to treasure for a moment before throwing it back to the waves... fearing that to hold on to it for too long would tarnish it...fearing to collect too many to string and wear... it would be me flaunting my true misery..


Once upon a time I begged for them not to look at me.... my heart was breaking....behold, I know wish for you to see.... And clearly understand the nakedness of my scandelously clad soul...exposing every tear drop so that emotion overcomes the room and everybody breathes it in

Afraid to close my eyes, ONE TIME, afraid to open them to a new life... AND THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE...none at all..... so gimmie back my cake, I want to eat it and feed it to you.... and let you mow the grass that is greener on the other side too...

As I become a living breathing walking contradiction sitting down and holding my breath, holding onto a truth that is only made up as lies.

� 2002 Skandelous LaLa (All rights reserved)





What Tomorrow Meant for You and Me

(Special thanks to Nick for making me love this piece and asking me to do it on your song, tho the plans fell thru I still have the audio and its beautiful)

Somehow I thought your presence would be with me eternally and you'd forever haunt my mind, and I used to think maybe it was because I died for you in a previous lifetime

Maybe I was wrong, maybe I didn't know you then, and maybe I won't be seeing you again... Or maybe it is the next lifetime....

I thought I'd always think about you.... Always love you.... Always hate you... I thought you'd always make me smile and.... I thought you'd always make me cry.... I thought more of this lifetime would be shared between you and I...

I thought we shared a bond that could never be broken, yet it seemed to break somewhere back there.... Maybe it broke the last time I felt your fingers running thru my hair....

Maybe I held on cuz I thought no one could ever compare...And its true...No one ever will Hold me like you....Touch me like you...Have words to move my soul like you do...

My heart no longer hurts tho when I see you in the street.... I must have forgotten that you used to love me

� 2002 Skandelous LaLa (All rights reserved)



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