How heavy can pieces of meat thrown together into one huge plastic bag be? I found the answer ‘very’ as I dragged the bag into the bathroom and struggled to dump the entire content into the tub. This was getting to be a bad idea. Maybe if I say it often enough, those ridiculously filthy luggage would disappear and I would be back to the comfort of my living room, watching ‘Days of Our Lives’. The hell with the Home Theater. How could I hurt my sweet 29-inch TV’s feelings?

The water tap was turned full blast and the crystal-clear tap water magically transformed into the sickening color of pale red. It was such a serious gag factor that I concluded that real blood is less nauseating than water-based blood. Guess blood IS thicker than water, huh?

“This gotta be not so bad,” I said aloud as I brushed the blood off a man’s foot and placed it in a fresh garbage bag. I somehow needed to give myself a pep talk to restrain my stomach from emptying its content into the toilet bowl. I was halfway done shampooing a blonde when I detected the familiar sound of Jeremy’s shoes.

“CJ?” How could I’ve mistaken the rough throaty voice as somewhat smooth and silky two years ago? “Have you deposited the twenty-five grand into my account yet?” he inquired as his tall frame in an Armani suit hovered behind me.

You’re a pimp. “Sweetheart, I can’t possibly bank-in twenty-five grand into your account this week,” I reasoned as I dumped an extra-large calf into the bag. “Can you grab my power tools? I just don’t have the heart to leave this man’s humerus sticking out like this.” Won’t you just hate it if your bone starts to poke out from out of nowhere?

Jeremy handed me the power toolbox and started twirling my hair. Who would have guessed that I would have the chance to play surgeon in my lifetime? I felt a tug on my scalp, two tugs and ouch, that one hurt like hell. “What are you doing, Jeremy?” I inquired with a strange amount of patience.

He shrugged his shoulder and sat on the toilet bowl. “Thought you would need a hairtug.” Okay, which planet IS he from?

The water was getting seriously murkier. The color would look fabulous on Jeremy’s crisp white shirt. “I promise you, Jeremy. Twenty-five grand in your account no later than next week,” I consoled. Another tug. It was getting annoying. Why didn’t he start working his butt off for a change?

“Promise?”

I incidentally dropped an arm into the tub and foul water splashed crazily onto my face. I plastered a smile worth of 200-watt and turned to face my lovely boyfriend. “You can count on it.”

The water drop rolled down the smooth surface of the window and joined a small puddle by the rubber soles. How long can a week be? Seven days, a hundred and sixty-eight hours, ten thousand and eighty minutes, yep, it is certainly shorter than four months.

“You might want to leave the window alone before you crack it down by your vicious stare,” AJ chirped happily. Howie chuckled as he continued to flip a page of the book he was reading. I haven’t seen his pointed Latino nose from behind the paperback for quite sometime now. Maybe I should give Jeffrey Archer’s ‘To Cut A Long Story Short’ a try. That book sounded far more intriguing than watching drops of rain splattering on the limo’s window.

Brian popped open a can of Sprite and downed a huge gulp. “Hey, Nick,” he started, before downing a few more gulps. At the rate he was going, we were thankful that it was not stout or vodka. “Lordy, don’t I ever feel thirsty! As I was saying………….” More gulps.

Brian let out a sheepish burp and I grimaced for what it was worth. Kevin was actually shaken up from his nap and started cussing like there was no tomorrow. And when Kevin cussed, Howie groaned. When Howie could not make out a living life out of his reading, AJ startled rambling non-stop. It’s a wonder how an innocent burp is capable of transforming the atmosphere faster than Howie could blink. Brian croaked open his mouth to speak and I had this urgency to stop him before things worsen. “Maybe you should consider finishing your soda before talking to me?”

Kevin’s head rolled back to hit the leather upholster while snoring soundly. The book was then covering Howie’s entire face and Brian had just tossed the empty can into the wastebasket. “I thought maybe we could hang out together during the week off,” he proposed. That proposal actually sounded pretty good. Going back to an empty mansion gets old sometimes. “Leighanne and I…………….”

“Leighanne? Aww man, you wanted me to tag along with you and your wife, looking like a seriously lost puppy with my tail wagging, and you call that hanging out? Just where exactly were you born, Littrell?” Brian’s idea could be ridiculous sometimes.

I instantly regretted opening my big mouth. Brian looked like he was about to weep or something. To top it all off, AJ was actually shooting me a disapproving look. Where was I looking when Kevin decided to hand over his job to AJ?”I………was just……..” Brian stammered. I guess I WAS a little too hard on him.

I ran a hand through my hair; it was suddenly too short that it took me a mere five seconds to finish combing it. “I’m sorry, bro. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” I apologized, hoping that my true sincerity was glowing. I honestly did not mean to bite his head off. “But you gotta admit, that proposal of yours does sound uncool,” I said. I love Brian like a brother and all, but I don’t think my idea of fun has Leighanne’s name written on it.

Brian bit his bottom lip which looked like a close resemblance to my eight-year-old neighbor, Jerry. “Yea, Leighanne did say something about doing stuff just the two of us………” his voice trailed off. I bet you a million dollar than the guilt trip has swapped place. “Guess that was not exactly a roofus idea, huh?” he asked sheepishly, smiling an apologetic smile.

AJ raised an eyebrow and mouthed ‘roofus’ to me that I just had to guffaw at that one. I was busy rolling on the limo’s carpeted floor and a thought ran into my head, did Brian and AJ go through a brain surgery or what? “Hey, I was racking my brain for the word ‘roofus’ and what’s so funny about that?” AJ defended. “Or you could just enlighten me, oh superior one,” he spat out, major sarcastic alert. He was really starting to scare me.

“I thought you watched that chick flick with me, Bone,” Brian put in, he has confusion written all over his forehead.

AJ’s eyes widened as if Brian had grown a second nose at the base of his neck. “What would I be doing watching a chick flick with you, Bri?” AJ asked incredulously. For some odd reason, his face started to heat up as well.

“You even cried during the last part when the two best friends got together, remember?” AJ? Crying? In one sentence? Ho come I missed witnessing all the roofus parts? AJ looked like he had just swallowed ten capsicum as Brian continued his trip down the memory lane. “I even had to hunt down some Kleenex cuz you had bloated up my hanky pretty badly………”

I had to bit back a laugh and saw that Howie had actually lowered his book to listen to the conversation. “Umm…….” AJ looked like he was about to crawl under the leather seat. “Which chick flick was it?” His voice was so small it was barely audible.

Brian snapped out of his babbling, glancing at AJ, oblivious to the world. “Whatever It Takes, man, or have you forgotten that hot cheerleader babe that had chocolate cake stuck on her teeth?”

I reeled my brain to the past few months and pushed the pause button at the scene where I had watched the same movie with BJ last summer. Yep, that girl was definitely a babe. “Yea, AJ, she has like the killer body from Playboy, and those boobs………..”

“Wait, you watched a chick flick too, Nicky?”

Uh huh, one week is definitely shorter than four months.