The Hilton was surprisingly deserted for a weekday. The day was unbelievably hot; I swear it was like some omen God sent me. I felt my shoulder sweating like a pig. Those ridiculously heavy tools didn’t help make it feel any better.

“Two hundred grand for this ol’ chap,” Archie enthused. He looked like he was going to kiss the marble floor if it hadn’t for the grotesque chainsaw hanging on his back. “I so love my job!” Archie could be so immature sometimes.

Joey shrugged. He adjusted the strap of his backpack and nodded his head vigorously. “Yea, it was like digging for gold in my backyard. Anyone up for a trip to the Bahamas?”

Jeremy’s cocky head flashed into my mind and I groaned inwardly. Bahamas sounded nice, but I could not possibly even think about the seven-letter word if my jackass-of-a boyfriend was ransacking through my bank account like a squirrel on the loose. “Really, Joey. You could have had that trip when I was actually fat loaded with cash.” What’s the point of hanging out at the Bahamas if you can’t even afford a beach towel?

The elevator dinged and the metal door slide open. “Trouble in paradise?” Archie inquired.

I could feel the elevator moving beneath my feet as it shot upward. “What do you know about paradise, big man? Do you even know how to spell it?” I countered back, feeling more and more frustrated as more visions of Jeremy floated into my head.

Joey laughed while Archie slid an arm around my shoulder. “You over underestimate me sometimes, kid,” he said, grinning. “I told you to get rid of that asshole a long time ago and nooooooo, you didn’t listen to yours truly.”

I suppressed a smile. However hard I tried not to look impressed, my lips curved upward involuntarily. “That does so much in making me feel better,” I retorted. The elevator halted and the door swung open. Talk about extravagant. This druggy jerk sure knew how to live in style.

“Damn, look at this carpet! I could feel my boots sinking in it!” Joey whispered excitedly. He whistled at the sight of a bimbo walking across the suite clad only in two-piece bathing suit.

I rolled my eyes. “Yea, keep acting like a male and that would really score big time.” The girl turned her head at the sound of Joey’s whistle and looked back with disgust. Maybe a guy in a workmen striking yellow overall wasn’t exactly appealing to her.

Joey’s lips broke into a huge grin. “See, she likes me already!”

Archie chuckled and led us to a small closet situated a few meters away from the elevator. “Are you on testosterone drug again?” I asked Joey. He was too giddy to be real.

After one final peek, Archie closed the closet door shut and switched on a high-beam torchlight. “Okay, folks. Gather round.” We formed a circle in the middle of the stuffy room and both Joey and I looked expectantly at Archie’s face. Who would have known that that giant could be a true team leader?

“We are going to bring down Juan Roberto Estrada, a round man in the middle of sixties. As usual, we don’t care about the details but we do know that this guy is some serious criminal based on his drug-dealing activity.”

I bit my lip. “He must have like hundreds of men or something,” I predicted. From our past experiences, drug dealers could be seriously dangerous as they have the power and the money to form such a huge troop of backup.

Archie nodded. “You’re not kidding. I heard that this pal gathered his best men from all over the world,” he informed. Joey cursed silently. That was a note of hazardous. “That could mean that expect some Jackie Chan or Evander Holyfield or shit.” Damn, that day was getting more and more absurd.

“Well, check your radio, your watch and your gun, people. We’re going to get this two-hundred-grand baby started!”

(Twenty minutes or so later).

“Hey, can I have some back up here?” I hollered into the walkie-talkie before releasing another gunshot. It was getting ridiculous. There were endless bullet changing and I was stuck behind this stupid dresser for quite some time now. I was running out of bullet, our master plan was flailing down and to top it all off, I didn’t even know the current state of my teammates.

A bullet hit the dresser and merely missing my brain for two inches. That gotta hurt. The radio was static before Archie’s voice filled my ear. “Hang on, girl. We are right outside to the spa. To tell you the truth, it looks quite inviting, despite all the red blots in it.” I could almost see him grinning from ear to ear.

I could not believe these guys. “Well, hurry up! I might as well set my hand on automatic shooting response or something ultra cool like that.” A Smith and Wesson peeked from above my head from behind the dresser, and with a swing of a turning kick, the fatal weapon was gone. I grabbed the person by the wrist and prepared to give him the stomachache of the century. Him turned out to be a really gigantic Japanese him, he oughta be a sumo wrestler in his afterlife. My kick landed on the desired target, and I was sorry if I did more damage than intended.

I heard shuffles of boots behind me and whirled around in a prepared stance. “Chill, CJ, it’s just us.” Joey was refilling his machine gun while Archie popped on a silencer on his. That was something new. “So, are we celebrating anything here?” Archie equipping his gun with a silencer had to mean something.

He flashed me this Darlie grin and pulled the trigger. “See the one in the terry bathrobe?”

I had absolutely no freaking idea who was in the freaking bathrobe, so I got a clear picture that I had to risk losing my head to find out. So I stood on my toes and peeked. There, an old man who could certify as my grandpop stood between two humongous men in black. All that money and they had to stuff their faces to resemble complete idiots. Luckily, they missed my lovely head so I duck back down to the comfort of safety behind the dresser. “Yea, so what’s the catch?”

Joey looked at me like I had eaten a cockroach out of a bet. “Hello, what happened to your cpu, CJ? That’s the Estrada bucko, and we’re gonna finish this guy? You know, hint, hint?” he said in such a way that reminded me of my second-grade teacher.

I shot him in what I hoped that screamed ‘duh’ along with it. Archie chuckled, stood up and the next was you-know. We were two hundred grand richer.

“You know what, Chantal?” Archie asked as he blew the smoke off his silencer. “I think I’ve got a proposal for you.”

The airport was a real buzz, no kidding. I pulled my baseball cap lower to conceal my face and pulled Jessica to the exit. As the automatic glass door swung open, a lady dressed in a crisp black suit greeted me. “Hello Mr. Richardson, I’m your new driver.”

For once I would not hesitate to switch places with Kevin. The girl in the suit looked so delectable that I was wondering if Kevin had added up ‘attractive, killer legs and smile’ in his job description. “I’m sorry but Mr. Richardson is still in the baggage area………..”

“Holy shit………….it’s the BSB!!!”

“On second thought, nice to meet you,” I greeted hurriedly before pulling Jessica to the waiting limo. That was the only cue I needed to scamper off to safety. Having a driver could come in handy sometimes. I did a mental note as to post up a vacancy on the newspaper and the lady slapped the limo’s door close before jumping in the front seat.

We were off from the screaming hysteria at the airport in a couple of minutes and Jessica snuggled closer to me. She was starting to rip off my clothes right there in the middle of the limo when I heard an estrange cough coming from the front seat. The lady quickly rolled up the window separating the booths and Jessica happily continued on her mission to screw me to hell. Jessica was great and all, but I didn’t think she possessed the word ‘respect’ in her vocabulary. Which was too bad.

The kisses were getting too suffocating so I left Jessica’s red-hot lips smooching the air as I peeked at the scenery outside. It was pretty obvious that we were definitely not on our route to my place but it was nowhere near Kevin’s route. Considering the higgledy-piggledy road we were on, curiosity started to kick in.

I knocked furiously on the separating window. Where the hell was the lady taking us? “Hey, lady, open up!” I yelled. Jessica broke away from my embrace and looked at me weirdly. “What’s wrong, Nicky?”

The window was rolled down and I poked my head between it. The driver was driving somewhat calmly, as if she had been driving on this path zillion times before. “Mind telling me where you’re taking us?” I was determined to get an answer out from this lady. She could be some psychopath fan who tried to abduct me, for all that I know.

Driver girl smiled smoothly as she kept her eyes on the road. “Don’t worry, Mr. Richardson. We’ll be there soon enough. Do you and your girlfriend need anything?”

“Look, I’m not Mr. Richardson. I’m Nick Carter…….”

“Nicky, what’s going on?!” Jessica whined as she took hold of my hand. I so did not need the whining right now. Jessica bit her lip and looked disgustedly at the driver girl. She looked like she was about to cry.

“As I was saying, I’m not Kevin. I’m Nick, you know, Carter? Where on earth are you taking us to?” Our limo came in view of a clearing in the middle of the forest. There was no way a shortcut to Kevin’s is among the thick bushes and tall pine trees. “Okay, you’re freaking me out, lady. Just stop driving, will you?”

Driver girl bit her lip and shook her head unsteadily. Good, at least she was afraid of yours truly. She finally killed the engine in front of a black Intercooler that I hadn’t noticed earlier. A huge black guy and a Caucasian man appeared from behind the wheel and driver girl stepped out of the limo before I could even ask her anything.

“Gawd, you’re way before schedule,” the white man exclaimed. He took a peek into the limo and flashed a grin to Jessica. Nice move, man. Now Jessica was sprawling all over me. A good beginning to investigate your current inquisitive situation.

I pushed Jessica off of me as I crawled out of the limo. As soon as I stumbled out of the automobile with Jessica’s ear-piercing scream as the background music, the black guy had this huge pair of bugged-out eyes. I didn’t have my pants off, didn’t I?

“Holy crap! CJ, I told you to get Kevin Richardson down, not some blonde kid with a girlfriend!” the black guy whispered loudly, almost frustrated, while the driver girl cringed. “He’s not?” she croaked timidly, looking embarrassed to the extreme.

Jessica’s scream hit my tympanum once again. “Damn, can she scream,” the black guy muttered. Jessica was near hysteric then, she was pulling my pants from inside the limo and holding to it as if her life depended on it.

The white guy looked like he was going to rip off the hair off his scalp. I didn’t blame him. Any girl with Jessica’s screech would sure drive any guy crazy. I knew he was damn bloody irritated, but I didn’t expect he would literally silent her. I saw Jessica’s hand limping as her head rolled back and hit floor, a dart-tube thingy stuck in her neck. “You…..” I never thought I could be lost in words ever my whole life.

“You fucking shot her!” the driver girl finished my sentence in a yell. She was actually pulling the collar of the white man, shoving knuckled into his face. “You fucking shot his girlfriend!” she yelled.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I said before biting my lip. It was true, Jessica was nowhere near the title.

“You actually shot the girlfriend. Are you out of your mind, Joey?!” the driver girl repeated, as if the Joey guy was a kid in his kindergarten years. “She’s the girl of a fucking celebrity, for God’s sake!”

“She’s not my……..”

“Do you want to get busted, Joey?! God, help me!” she screamed before finally letting go of Joey’s collar. She backed off a couple of feet away from Joey.

“Relax, CJ. That was only barbiturate,” the huge guy said in a soothing voice. Driver girl seemed to relax a little but her face was still blushing furiously. I took it as my cue to intervene and explain my situation. “She was not my girl……..”

Driver girl rolled her eyes and shot dagger looks to Joey guy, who was squatting on the dirt, looking worse than ever. “Okay, he’s not Richardson or whatever?” she inquired, her chest heaving up and down. She mistook me for Kevin the Eyebrow Guy? Was this girl for real or what?

“No, he’s not, CJ! He’s the other Backstreet! Carter or something!”

I coughed a little and the three’s attention were diverted to me. “That was what I was telling her earlier. And if you don’t mind…………”

“How the hell was I to know that he was actually telling the truth?” Driver Girl muttered under her breath while blowing off a lock of brown hair.

I involuntarily snorted. Yea, like I would gladly pretend I’m as tall as the giraffe with a pair of eyebrows that could cloud mountains. “Believe me, I was,” I said.

Joey and Driver Girl looked at me simultaneously with looks that could almost kill. “Shut up!” The way the two shared a dictionary was amusing it was scaring the shit out of me that I kept my mouth shut.

Huge guy raised an eyebrow, looking down expectantly at the driver girl. “Told ya.”

Driver Girl groaned. “It’s not like he had his name scrawled on his forehead!” she argued to the best of her ability. Her cute streak was slowly showing off.

“Damnit CJ, don’t you watch MTV?” the huge guy rebutted. I could never agree more with the guy. Which planet did the girl hail from?

“They are not exactly Incubus!”

Damn, I wished I was Incubus at that very moment. Praise to God, I didn’t even mind if I was born an N’Sync. Momma, I just wanna go home!!