 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Moes serve Mr. Sub a big fat overtime loss January 21, 2009 by Moe Diggity After being shellacked last week by a team that was nearly even with us in the standings, the Moes were off to play second-place Mr. Sub this week. Surely, we were in for another beating. And just when you think things couldn't get any worse, the ice is getting flooded for our game and our goalie still hasn't shown up. This was unlike our goalie, Mawwk (that's Mark -- but with his English accent), since he and his brother-in-law, Jeremy, usually show up an hour before the game and are the first ones here. Did they hit a moose on their way to the arena from Keswick? Did they forget to fill the tank a second time on their long drive to the arena and run out of gas? There was some concern growing amongst the players. But, no call to let anyone know they're not coming? Whatsupwitdat? Mawwk was paying for the rent-a-goalie we had to splurge for no matter what. Speaking of which, we had the honour of Joey "God's Gift to Goaltending" Parsons donning the pads for us. It had been several years since we last saw him as he'd filled in as goalie for us before. This Joey looked like Eminem wearing hockey pads. Still probably in his late teens, this Joey had some facial hair now and was self-admittedly "just out of jail". This Joey also had a bit of cockiness to him. His price was $40 to play which seemed quite high since the last time we rented a goalie I'm pretty sure we only paid $20. Team rep, Moe Foe, began some Armenian negotiating. "How about we give you $20 now and the other $20 later only if we win." "Oh, you'll win" Joey Triple-G replied. "How can you be so sure?" someone asked. "You've never seen us play!" Here, Joey Triple-G went on about how he carried this team and that team and started citing some stats about his career goals against average and how he played for three teams and all but one went to the regional finals, blah blah blah... "I win 80% of my games" I heard Joey Triple-G finally say as I snapped out of the glazed-eyed look I usually only reserve for Moe Foe when he goes on his rants. "Well that's good then" Moe Chaks said, "because we only win 20% of ours." Now that our goaltending issue was resolved, there was one more item that needed to be taken care of... the beer. For the fourth week in a row, Moe Lovin was supposed to bring the beer as he'd forgotten or didn't realize it was his turn the previous three times. Unfortunately, Moe Lovin was nowhere to be seen. We urged his Moe Yo'Mama to call his brother to find out where Moe Lovin was at. Good news! He's running late but he's on his way! The extra stop by the Beer Store must have thrown him behind schedule, we all assumed, and we made our way on to the ice for the game... Moe Lovin showed up after the first period had started and went out and scored on his first shift. Players congratulated him and grilled him at the same time. "Nice goal Roy... Did you bring the beer?" "Oh my gosh... you're not going to believe this! I forgot it at home!" Lovin replied. Now, the way he said this sounded (a) sooo poorly rehearsed that it sounded like he was lieing, (b) overly rehearsed that it sounded like he was lieing, or (c) like he was lieing, which made me think that, well, he was lieing and that there was actually going to be beer in our dressing room after the game -- Moe Lovin style. I envisioned walking into the dressing room and seeing a tall can of beer neatly placed by each player's seat on the bench with the remaining inventory laid out in the middle of the floor in a beautiful arrangement of beer cans, ice and perhaps some rose petals thrown in for good measure... I was wrong. The game ended with the Moes beating Mr. Sub in overtime by a score of 4-3. Justice was served as we made up for our 4-3 OT loss to them from the last time we played. What would have been sweeter was if Moe Skeeto's goal came with us having too many men on the ice and with the refs not detecting it, the way Mr. Sub scored their OT winner last time. After the game, while the team was recapping the events of their fresh win and making arrangements to take Joey Triple G's number in the event that Mawwk pulled a stunt like this again, who walk through the door but Mawwk and Jeremy... "You said the bloody game was at 11:30!" Mawwk yelled at Moe Skeeto. "I don't remember saying that. You gotta check the site" replied Moe Skeeto. "I hate that bloody site!" said Mawwk. "So how did you do? Did you rent a goalie?" "Yeah, we won 4-3 in overtime against the second place team. You're standing right next to the rent-a-goalie." "Well he must've stood on his bloody head! I still can't believe we missed the game..." (silence...) "...and you won, too!? Bloody hell!" Score: Moes 4 - Mr. Sub 3 |