April News:
April 24, 12:11 PM EST
"Life is like soggy cereal, and it ain't gettin' no crispier," - Christian Ferguson 2000.
April 24, 11:05 AM EST
My room is very empty. Soon, Rod will be moving in. Little does he know that
April 24, 10:52 AM EST
Today I write my last exam. My last exam. Like, wow, I mean, like wow, war man, I mean, like, wow, war, wow.
Ok, now Heisz will do his famous ping-pong ball trick! Sensitive viewers should look away.
April 22, 10:35 PM EST
Shane is watching television in his room. I am typing. Mike is with Heather. Clow, Christian and Clarke are not home. Adrian is. Rod's phone line is busy. My girlfriend is in Florida. I have one exam left. There's talk of eating at Leonard tomorrow. Oh the memories that place brings back to me... I remember writing my english proficiency exam there. If it weren't for the Leonard walls, where would I have I demonstrated my passable proficiency in english? Then there was the ice storm. For $3, that was a mighty fine meal. Then just the other day, on our way to Value Village, Mike H., Shane, Christian and I observed that there are now bars on the windows of Leonard Hall. What's up with that? Yup, that place was like a second home to me. Three cheers for Leonard.
Hip-hip hooray!
Hip-hip hooray!
Hip-hip HOORAY!!!
April 20, 2000 11:25 PM EST, at the Grad Club
"In 35 minutes, it'll be my birthday. Yup... the same day that Jesus suffered, but I could care less." - Joe?
April 16, 2000 11:01 PM EST
The local newscast reports that three unidentifiable hooligans were seen spray-painting a church. A photograph of the vandalism was taken. Local authorities still aren't sure what to make of the spraypainting. They suspect that three individuals were involved... one with penis-envy, one with penis-love, and one with no penis at all.
April 16, 2000 6:34 PM EST
Shane, Mike and Heather return from their "excursion". They tell me that I didn't see them leave the house, and that they were home the whole time. When I asked about the ski-masks, they gave me the old thumb-across-the-throat gesture. I'm a little worried about those three.
April 16, 2000 4:12 PM EST
Shane, Mike and Heather left the house today wearing ski-masks. I don't know where they were going or what they were going to do, but it was a little warm to be wearing a ski-mask today. Mike and Shane were also wearing their diving gear... but that's not abnormal for a Sunday afternoon.
April 15, 2000 All day
Nothing happened.... not even in Bosnia.
April 14, 2000 4:51 PM EST
For all those who feared that I had disappeared from the planet, never to update this news page again, I reassure you that I have simply made my way to the friendly shores of Quebec for a few days. I am on my way back now to K-town. I hope that the remaining Dukes were able to keep the evil Brockmeister clan from ruining the streets of the promise-land. I assume that many an occurance has passed during my sejourn to your neighboring province to the East. Hopefully, my associates will be able to fill me in on what happened so that this page will not leave have a void like the void that the Brockmeisters have in the sport of basketball.
April 9, 2000 from 3:00 PM EST until the soccer losers weaseled their way on to the court
In Bews gymnasium today, all eyes were on the East court, where the Dukes of Earl St. were tuning up their basketball game for a future encounter with the Brockmeisters. Rod Oandasan of Party Central was also on the floor. Several grueling games of 2-on-2 were played until Christian Ferguson of the Brockmeister clan made an appearance. One thing that was clear from today's games is that the Brockmeisters have no chance against the Dukes should they ever meet in the sport of basketball. Once the Keckmachine got warmed up, he was a threat from anywhere on the court. The Heiszinator was a perpetual rebounding, driving, and cutting machine. And in case anyone was wondering about the inevitable Ferguson-Jones match-up... the last time the two squared off in a game of 1-on-1, Jones scored 50% more points than Ferguson.
The early line out of Vegas for the cross-town house battle has the Dukes up by 6.5 in a game to 15. Devin Hale, a friendly face of the Nursing Scene, was overheard saying that, "Those Earl St. boys have it all: speed, quickness, shooting ability, ups, and most importantly, good looks. Those deformed Brockmeisters don't have a chance."
Matt Wolfe, basketball analyst, was asked about the Brockmeisters chances. His reply: "Ha ha ha... hee hee hee. Wait. Did they get Jordan? No? Ha ha ha. You've got to be kidding me."
April 8, 2000 4:38 PM EST
I wonder who would win between John Rambo and the Karate Kid, Daniel. Sure, Rambo's bigger, but can he wax-on wax-off? Probably not. But then again, Rambo's been to 'Nam... and back. That's pretty impressive. Although, Daniel did live through on hell of a storm in Japan. Rambo's got the cool headband, and so does Daniel-san. Obviously, if there were weapons involved, Rambo would destroy Daniel. He'd fire a rocket right up Danny's ass and that would be the end of that. But in hand to hand combat, I'm not so sure that Rambo would be as effective without his massive knife. Unless Rambo somehow could absorb some of Rocky's fighting ability through Sly Stallone. Then it would be a good fight... a good fight indeed.
April 8, 2000 3:00 PM EST
Rambo III is on tv now. I'm not going to watch it. What I want to see is the Karate Kid series. Those kicked ass. Remember the scene where Daniel was the new kid in school, and the tough guys were having a party on the beach, and they kicked the crap out of Daniel? That sucked. But then, when Daniel became Daniel-san, and learned how to do the crane kick... that was cool. And when Mr. Myagi could have driven the bad guy's (who was also in Rambo II) nose up into his brain killing him instantly, but just honked the guy's nose instead... that rocked pretty hard. That's what's cool about movies like Rambo and Karate Kid... it's all about geting your ass kicked and then beating up everyone in sight.
April 8, 2000 1:00 PM EST
Rambo II is on tv. Rambo kicks some serious ass. What the hell was Murdock thinking? He didn't know who he was dealing with. Throughout the movie, Rambo got stabbed in the back by people he thought he could trust. It's a good thing that he's invincible, and the Vietnamese and Russian soldiers can't aim a gun worth crap. The part where Rambo's taking down trucks and buildings with his some kind of bomb tipped arrows is cool. Then, when there's one guy who keeps shooting at him, and Rambo just stands there while he loads up his bow, and the guy shooting at him realizes that he's screwed, and then Rambo fires one of those arrows that can blow up a truck just to kill one guy... that was cool.
April 7,2000 12:35 AM EST (t-minus 14 hours to showtime)
"Which file is it?" - Shane
Christian, not sure if Shane is kidding or not, "It's PIBv8p2t00_1.wav." Then he mutters under his breath, "You retard. Duh."
"PIBv8p2t00_1.wav? What the hell is that?" - Shane
Only 1397 warnings. No problem.
April 6, 2000 9:50 PM EST
"You're giving me that!? That's f*&king huge!" - Tim to Christian.
April 5, 2000 9:46 PM EST
The phone rings. No tomato on my chicken burger please. The Breezeway rocks. Christian is thinking of getting a pet monkey to alleviate some of his sexual frustration.
April 5, 2000 6:41 PM EST
"If you're a rock star, you get laid a lot. Or, if you're me, you get laid a lot." - Cdog McGraw
April 4, 2000 10:28 PM EST
Housemate number 5 (I guess Rod is #4), actually brought dishes to the kitchen. This is a first.
April 4, 2000 10:24 PM EST
Shane is talking on the phone with his boyfriend Chris about men in tights.
"Can't a guy take a piss these days?" - Christian Ferguson
Clarke gets ditched by Cdog for a girl.
April 2, 2000 6:16 PM EST
I've discovered that someone has altered my website, unbeknownst to myself. I've yet to uncover the culprit's identity, but the search is on. Christian Ferguson has teamed up with O.J. and has set up a hotline to find the real website-hijacker.
April 2, 2000 4:00 - 5:30 PM EST
Devin Hale thrilled the pick-up basketball world with his post-up-behind-the-back-bounce-shots. He likes to call that move Charlene, a tribute to the 9th grade English teacher that made him a man.
In a post game interview, Hale was heard saying that Team Shirts were "much more fun to play with" than the lacklustre, neanderthalian Team Skins.
April 2, 2000 11:55 AM EST
I've changed a lot since last night. I have a new favourite band, check out the link on my main page. Also, I've decided maybe it's not cool to play with myself while dressing up in my nurse's outfit. My friends have always said it was cool but I think they were just screwing with me.
In other news, everyone was pretty tired last night after an exceptional night of drinking at the swankiest party to hit K-town since Dan Akroyd picked up his first 15 year old.
Apparently there is gym bookage for basketball today and that makes a certain excitement fill the air. I personally believe that Cdog is the best player I've ever had the pleasure of playing with but that's just my humble opinion.
April 2, 2000 11:51 AM EST
Mike Heisz awoke to the pleasent surprise of Christian being at his house. A direct quote from Mike was "that's the best wake-up present I've ever had". Overall, this didn't seem to weird because Cman is basically a 5th housemate. The housemate that uses dishes but washes none. Who's housemate number 4?
April 1, 2000 2:30 PM EST
I ate seventeen pieces of bacon with breakfast. It was good.
April 1, 2000 12:26 AM EST
Christian Ferguson falls down.
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