October
"Hummingbird hums but you only hear the buzz,
life has lost its color, the lines begin to fuzz.."
-Ashes "My Head"
10-16-02
Today is October 16th, and it is three days
until homecoming. Normally, this would not be a big idea, but life is...ick.
Homecoming has taken on a whole new personality. It is now no longer a
dress, a date, and a football game. Homecoming is now an endless litany
of excuses, reservations, and planning. It's no longer the date, but the
corsage, the cummerbund, and the vehicle of choice. As for the dress: forget
conforming to a designers dress, let's make our own instead and be just
like Sitika here! Tension is high as no king or queen has been announced,
hostilities grow as dates for the evening dump and swap with one another
as if changing underwear, taking the bikini over the low risers. It's all
such a mental wedgie!
10-14-02
Updated poems
section (only one new poem...I'd be glad to post more if they weren't so
bloody controversial...) Also added "Method
to My Mayhem" section. I just answer questions people ask about my
and my cute lil quirks. Nothing big. In case you haven't noticed, I've
started writing down "sermons". I'll get a section up soon, so I can fully
explain my ideas and the like, but it's really complicated now and all
too personal... I'll share eventually though. Enjoy for now...
10-13-02
For those of you who don't know me very well (or don't visit my site often) it may interest you to know that I am dyslexic (which means I often read things backwards). The worst time of my life was when on the first day of school my sophomore year we had to read aloud the 15 digit numbers out of the back of our books to check them in. That was pretty ugly. As for my website? Thank God for spellcheck. Being dyslexic, however, has it's advantages. I'm really good at making up rhymes so I can remember stuff without having to rely on looking at a word, and I'm a witch at scrabble. The best thing about it, however, is that I can often see things in a different way (no pun intended). Some people see evil, I see live, but I always strive for perfection. Do you know how hard that is? I bet you don't. I bet 95% of those who read this just want their good grade, or their pat on the head, and to get out of whatever they're doing without being eaten alive. I am a perfectionist. I must have absolute silence before I go to bed- I hear everything. I can't stand having 94% A's, I have to have at least a 97%, and don't get me even started on body images. Perfect. Perfection is such an critical aspect of our lives that it's almost obscene. If you called me on my cell this Tuesday night, I would be in stage crew, painting while reciting elements of French absolutism, dictating to my assistant what exactly I want for the fashion show, listening to two artists audition and trying to remember my dance piece. If you got me later in the evening I would be driving down the street changing from dance clothes to volleyball uniform, reciting mathmatical formulas and writing about censorship as I applied makeup. My dear readers: I am not stressed because of dyslexia and how it hinders mental movement, I am not stressed because I am a perfectionist and held captive by the afore mentioned, I am not stressed because I have a heavyworkload. I'm stressed because of all of the above combined. In the same light, it keeps me sane, grounded if you will. If I had time to think about what I do, watch the world spin by, I'd lose my mind. Ashes' first ablum, Pearfect was titled as such to make a mockery of society and of ourselves. We figured, "No one can be perfect, not even the word"... but I digress: life is in the mind of the beholder. If you see a situation as bad, disabling, then you're doomed, sorry. If you're always wondering, forever following, never taking action then you will always be lost, no matter who tries to lead you. So while y'all ponder whether the glass is half empty or half full, I pick up my cup and drink whatevers left cuz really, it's all about how you look at it.
10-06-02
Life is...finish the sentance. Go ahead. Our whole perspective of life, our entire life is defined by the moment. Right now, as I type, my life is a game. Little plastic pieces put on a board, and we move them inch by inch forwars, backwards, either way STILL TRYING to reach our goal. What goal? Me, it's success. I don't know how to define success, but I know when I'll find it. Right now, my mini-goal is to be #1 in my class. By the time I find out what my class standing is, my goal will be different. I have friends who annoy me to no end: they say they have a goal, but all they really have is a happy standing. They're in a position and they like it. Now, we all have to take a turn, roll the dice eventually, and when we do, we'll no longer be in the same standing. Why be happy where you are when you know you can't stay? Be happy for where you can go, where you've been, where you will go, but crimeny, don't be content for it to always be like that! If you have a great boyfriend, ok grades and a dream, don't ALWAYS expect it to be that way. Boyfriends come and go, grades rise and fall, dreams either take flight or die. It's all a matter of playing the game. Don't always play by the rules, you can never really achieve anything by following anyone. Don't play with more than your piece, bitte, life is fragile, people get hurt. Life is. Life is NOT an obsession. Life is NOT evolving around one thing. Life is NOT all about you, so get over yourself. So what is life?
9-20-02
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Updated the art
section, found this AMAZING
link, got 411 about all of the things about September 20th and why
it's so special. Did you know I have the same birthday as not only Upton
Sinclair, Sophia Loren, but that Sally from Third Rock from the Sun and
Alexander the Great? I feel pretty spectacular. =0) Well, sorta.
It's late, and in 4 minutes my glory will be over. Until tomorrow morning,
cuz I'll be going shopping. I got my cell phone-yay! Now I don't have to
freak out wondering how I'm going to call my mom afterschool to pick me
up. Lots of clothes, cosmetics, and gift certificates, as well as a class
ring and a great party. If you go on www.jostens.com
, it's the female Pagent ring with a quarter cut amythyst with NHS on one
side and Baseball and Basketball on the other, all done in platinum alloy
with antique finish. Well, finally making it to 15
I'm
going to thank the big people. I don't thank
the little people, they often get stepped
on and I scrape them off of my shoes, but
the big people, the ones that make the impact
on my life are the ones I want to thank. On EVERY BIRTHDAY I am reminded
on how precious life is, and I am constantly amazed that I have made it
to the following year, surviving whatever God or the elements threw my
way. To my friends
(Nicole, Sarah, Anna, Katrina, Liz, Skaite) for helping me keep it together,
my
partner in crime (Megan) for helping me put
it back where it came from (*laugh*) [or at least hide the body], and for
my family (Bridget,
Pat, Mom, Dad, and Melissa), whether related by blood or no, you've always
supported by decisions, even the really really really stupid ones.
Of course there's always a section for the people that made a big impact
in a small amount of time, my CRATER PEOPLE.
Laura,
my "Little Butterfly", Lauren, my Chrysalis roomate, and Kyle (Squirrel
shootin' gun boi), all my crater people, words cannot express how overwhelmed
I was (and still am) by your actions. Last but not least, the long
distance runners, people who have been with
me since day one but, although they stop to take breathers, keep up with
me in their own pace- Josh (yeah, you=0), Michaele (miss ya girlie!), and
Gilbie (I love you...never forget it!)I know you guys will meet up with
me around the bend. So that's it ,
my birthday is oficially over. My party is later today, aka 4:00, did anyone
guess what my plan was yet? here
are the clues:
1) We are all wearing white clothes and glitter
2) A Moonlight party invitation
3) Party held on the last full moon of the
summer
4) You need candles
5) There will be a lot of walking
6) There will be circles as well as squares
7) There will be no sacrificing rituals
First one to correctly guess (Minus Melissa)
will get $5...
8-19-02
Oi vey. Now you can link to me! (see top
of page)
8-18-02
I've just come back from a wedding and I'm
working on updating the site (possibly for the last time for awhile)
8-13-02
I'm working on my ANA bracelets today...
so far I have a really beautiful one. I know I've been gone for like...forever,
but it's not my fault. If I'm not at the gym then I'm reading/doing yoga
or shopping. By the way, after numerous comments about the "bloody" in
the campaign for "Bloody Do Something" It's because I say the word "bloody",
similar to how other British people say it =0) so "bloody" is more a swear
word than a reference to oxygen and red and white blood cells mixed in
with plasma =0) What have I been doing otherwise? Swallowing enough vitamins
and fiber to make me puke. Oh yeah, and being sick. That was fun. I had
enough vicks vapor rub to take the skin off of my nose. Today I decided
to get crafty and made ANA bracelets. The one I' wearing is pearls, silver
balls, and pink and clear beads. It's beautiful. ANYWHO I'm updating
EVERYTHING. Ya'll will love it. Check the directory and back tomorrrow
for EVERYTHING...
7-25-02
UPDATE (2): Really cool website: Grace.
The only magazine youll ever find that has models for every size! Also,
I updated my links..... MWA!!!
UPDATE: Bloody Do Something! (tm) is A.F.T.E.R.T.H.O.U.G.H.T.
Entertaianment and Sitika Thai's World's attempt to get you off of your
internet addicted butt and do something for your community :0) Dosomething.org
is not my website however. Think you're my dream guy? Fill
out a quiz. Your results will be mailed to you via me :0)
Also, POST
YOUR BACK TO SCHOOL SCHEDULE or just add whatever you want to talk
about. It is onitored however, so I know who you are >:0} don't try
anything stupid. Also, feel free to add jokes and whatever suits yer fancy.
