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January

"Hummingbird hums but you only hear the buzz,
life has lost its color, the lines begin to fuzz.."
-Ashes "My Head"

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News Archives

1-25-3
Song:\\Take It Off by The Donnas

feeling sick still.. was ok for 2 days, but such has ended... intertesting article i'd write on my life. yesterday met Fergi, the Dutchess of York. The woman is a saint...i'm going back and forth between reading her book and Crime and Punishment. C&P I've read before and love dearly, yet now i get to read it again for a lit assignment- not like i mind, i assure you, but i am interested in Sarah's p.o.v. on things... though i was in 2 newspapers. i bloody skipped 6th and 7th period on thursday with Zara to meet her, and i'm in not one paper but two, both cited and photographed. Not like i mind or anything.. >=0D came up with an idea for a movie though:
What would you do if you found out every one of your online friends was in fact, one person? And what do you do, when they start to take over your life?
A girl (call her Ann) talks to her best friend (call her Beth)daily, but when Beth goes somewhere or is away, Ann talks to different people online or on the phone or on her web community. What she doesn't know- these people are all Beth.Beth has controlled Ann's life and surrounded it with fake human beings, and the drama unravels as the "characters" Beth has created take on serious role in Ann's life.
 

1-23-3
Song:\\Still Waiting by Sum41

So much to think about/ talk about/ write about i can't get it all down. i'm debating on whether to elucidate or skip it all... i'll let you ponder what lies in my head while i sleep...

1-18-3
Song:\\ Where do you go? by Ashes

Finals ended, now i'm cool
Tralalalala,lalalala
I don't want to go back to school
Tralalalala,lalalala
I better be number one
Tralala, tralala, lalala!
Hope while i was studying you all had fun
Traalala la, la la la laaaaaa!!!

Later: just made my own online diary... really hating the server tho. i'm so tired now it's amazing... i'll talk to y'all later, i'm off to never never land...

1-17-3
Song:\\My Own Worst Enemy by Lit

"The yesterday is over, tomorrow's not here, and today is a gift that's why they call it the present."
--Unknown
 

1-16-3
Song:\\ Ther's A Fire by OKGO

Finals are over.. yay for me! I totally failed AP Euro (at least it felt like it.. ) but I'll find out soon...... *ugh* I'm mad that I feel sick/.. OMG I've been home for so long and I am so bored I cannot explain it to you...

1-12-3
Song:\\ No Apologies by Nirvana

Get out of my face.

1-11-3
Song:\\ Father by Lollypop Lust Kill

This weekends homework assignment for history: 16 essay questions and 3 pages of definitions of events in the Industrial Revolution. Then i must prepare for the test of that assignment for Monday...and study for finals. And play basketball and dance.. plus chores... i'm not leaving my room. They can't make me. I'm really starting to hate history homework.

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
Steven Wright.

1-10-3
Song:\\ No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age

Hey.. i actually did some of my homework, played my basketball game and we won. Life is good. Now all i have to concentrate on is History... and sleep...history and sleep. Dang i'm good.

 "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
Dan Quayle.

1-9-3
Song:\\ Lets Push Things Forward by The Streets

Reason #5665484 I am hating school- final exam reviews as thick as
Mr. Johnson's binder.

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
Dan Quayle.
 

1-7-3
Song:\\ All My Life by Foo Fighters

*whine* how many times can i say i hate school? study study study cram cram cram i've barely gotten started but it seems like i never stopped to begin with. what is this winter break you speak of? i don't think my mind ever rested.. i've now gone 3 days without sleep... lets see what happens...

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
                      ---Charlie Brown.
 

1-6-3
Song:\\ School by Nirvana

augh.. hate school.. hate finals.. if y'all are really bored, watch me go from frazzled to pure insanity in the durations of one week... did i mention i was sick?

later: at what point does it all go wrong again? really?

1-5-3
Song:\\ Fxxk it by Seether

Still later: ahh, too late for imput. Now you can see when i update anything.. unless i forget to update the updates page..=0/

Later: Updated news, links, sermons, and directory. Thinking of putting up a page of quotes i've written in my news, as well as some funny ones from comedians... maybe even an updates page so u can see when i update. Any input?

 I want to go back to school soo badly, and i really don't want to do the work. It's a double edged sword and i can't find the handle...
 
 

People annoy me to no end- i can't even explain it anymore. Upon my observations of people in general, i have come to a new conclusion- idiocy is the norm. People are so confused when they hurt someone else, they're always like "what did i do?" well.. think about it kid. Or, they just want to blame it on someone else, like "who is it that is hurting you? what is wrong?" you, genius, you're driving me nuts so shut up. So this leads me back to point one: people annoy me. Fake people... now thats another story, don't even get me started on fake people. People who keep you close because you're the enemy, who would play Gene and jounce the limb just to see "what if?". I don't deny it- I do every once in awhile. How do you think I turn out number one? Hard work, effort, paranoia, and a dash of insanity, and bake in a pressure cooker with 500 competitors. Tada! But all of that aside, who are our real friends? People who stand by us when we're down? People whom we talk to every day? People that protect us from the big scawy real world? Or are they those few select people who are perfectly happy kicking our butts into reality and making us think. Bottom line: TRUTH HURTS- a lot. I bet there are maybe a handful of people on this earth that have true friends, friends who would tell everyone of their friends what exactly they thought about the other. I know I'm not a true friend- i keep my mouth shut 95% of the time... but my question is, would sparing your feelings make me an enemy?
 

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
                     --- Emo Philips.
 
 

1-3-3
Song:\\ Broken by Seether

Ugh, lots to talk about. First of all, the year 2002 has been dubbed...
*drumroll*                    Year of Two's.
Yay. Really long explanation following, but it's basically a year of second chances and playing second fiddle as well as two very important people... so if you wanna see 2002 In Review have at it. It will be updated as i see fit...  what else? New Years Resolutions:
µLose 30 lbs
µHave perfect white teeth
µNumber one in my class

More to come I am sure..
 
 
 
 

1-1-03

12-31-02
Thoughts at 1 am
 My Life Worthy for A Book is to be the title of my autobiography. I figure, I'll write my life up to the point I die (or stop writing) and have my friends and family make another version... maybe they'll get to read the original copy one day, know all my secrets... who knows. However, it would start out, i do imagine, something like this, "You know life is really rough when you can't eat a chocolate orange." Truer words were never spoken.. if shakespeare is right, and life is just a stage and all the men and women merely players, i want to see the audience- they know something i don't, and i have the sickening feeling something i just said or did is about to become ironic. The point is, I can't eat a chocolate orange. Maybe it's because i can't have chocolate oranges, maybe it's because I am whitening my teeth, maybe it's because it's not mine to begin with... but I feel so ill I want nothing more than that orange to be safe, to be chewed, swallowed and digested, to be no longer a temptation to those around it or a source of confusion to those who have tasted its goodness. I want to be able to have an orange, and chocolate, but not the two combined, to be able to not think about that orange day and night and wonder who will finally put an end to it...
And so begins Chapter One...

12-28-02
"I didn't event the rainy day, I just have the best umbrella."
                                    --- Almost Famous

12-25-02
 UPDATED SERMONS!!!

    What kills me more than anything is how people say they don't celebrate "Christian" Christmas. Ok, fine, be like that, but in every little action, something is praising Jesus, so, we may be off of school, but tough gingerbread- time for a little Christmas education.....

Christmas lights: Mimic the night sky. Represent the star the guided the three wise men as well as the "light of the Lord". Candles are also viewed as such.

Christmas Tree:
Evergreens represent life as they are green year-round. The triangular shape guides the eye to the top of the tree, where a star or angel usually recides (like that of the Christmas story). Ornaments represented those who saw the Christkind, as well as gifts they might have given.

Candy Canes: Although hung upside down most of the time, the candy cane was made to form a J, which stood for Jesus. The red and white stripes will be explained in the next line.

Christmas Colors:
Red stands for the blood of christ (eventually shed), while white stands for purity, green for everlasting life. Such colors schemes can be seen in the candy cane, the evergreen, holly, mistletoe, etc.

Exchanging of Gifts:
Tradition started by the first christmas. When God gave to the nations His only son, the people gave the Christkind gifts as well. The well known were gold, frankensense and myrrh <-(nasty stuff that is) as well as the song from the drummer boy and the praises from the shepherds.

Santa Claus: <-gotta love the man
Around the 1400's, a young German priest named Nikolaus lived in Germany. He was a generous man in deed, and believed heavily in the Christmas spirit. One year, he noticed that a particularly poor man had no money for a Christmas celebration, and no dowry for his three impoverished daughters to get married. That night , Nikolaus threw three bags of gold down the poor mans chimney- Nik was 21 years old. Nikolous then became a bishop, wearing long red robes and often a white fur sash . He grew a long beard (as most old men of the time did) and turned rather portly. When he died, since he was a giving man of god they recognized him as a saint, and was dubbed Saint Nikolaus. Santa Claus is just just his name lost in the translation and illiteracy of the times(Saint sounds like Sant if you didn't know how to spell, Claus= niKoLAUS )

12-24-02
HEILIGABEND! (Holy Evening)
Wow, 4 days of break and it's only 4:12 and my brain is already mush. I am now watching a "Very Brady Sequel" and let me tell you, it's a "Very Gay Movie". I feel ill. I have good old fashioned christmas sermon all planned out as my gift to you... but snce it's break, i'm gonna double up eventually, so you'll get twice as many lectures. =0D

As the Christmas season is upon us, in some cases it has stood up and choked us to death. Upon 16 observation of Christmas, I have come to the following conclusion: of those who celebrate the Holiday, there are three main classes- The X-masers, the Chreasters, and the Christians....

X-masers: Ok, X-masers: you know who you are. To the rest of us, they're the materialistic children who took Christ out of Christmas. It's all about finding the perfect gift, going broke, bills, Christmas dinner, plastic lawn decorations with toy soldiers all around. These are the people who make me sick- they really have no concept of Christmas except they have two lists, each a mile long. One is of things they HAVE to buy people, another is things they HAVE to get, otherwise the holiday will be a total loss. Church is excluded from the days events, as in most cases is anything having to do with religion.

Chreasters:
Ah, the most populous of the classes. Chreasters are those dedicated to serving God and going to church- but only on Christmas and Easter (hence the name...) They make attempts to go to church sometime throughout the year, but often those attempts are not only few and far between, but preceed failure. Regardless, an attempt is an attempt, and i will give them credit for that. In many cases, however, Chreasters celebrate Christmas similarly to the X-masers- a shload of presents, from Santa, to the children in the name of *das Christkind. Slightly hypocritical if you ask me...
( *the Christ child)

Christians:
The smallest of the three groups, the Christians celebrate solely the birth of Jesus Christ. Like the other two classes, they may exchange gifts and do similar holiday antics, but the true meaning is not behind the present, the spirit lies within the gift of the Birth.

I have nothing against anyone in any of these classes, and i do admit there are people who do not fit in any of these classes. I know people to celebrate Christmas as a time of giving- period. Others may plead that Christmas is "A Time for Family", which it is, but I bet the farm you'll fall into one of the above categories anyway.

So there you have it. Three classes, none the same, which one are you in?

12-21-02

4 Days until Christmas...eep.

12-13-02

Hmm hmm de dum hmm... i've been procrastinating! Crimeny, it seems like nothing goes right anymore. I get together the list and don't do it, don't stick to my daily regimend, and nothing gets done. Sorry i never write y'all anymore, gotta think up a sermon. Conga-rats to Cole` and Tom =0) they're so cute, it's amazing. I just do stuff anymore to entertain myself, but my joint and finger pain is so extreme anymore it kills to type... not much time to think about christmas. Now that i think of it, i've never really had a good Holiday.I mean, being with family is nice and all, but i don't have any "perfect" holiday memories... kinda depressing. I'm gonna post another survey tomorrow or so. This "about me" stuff is amazing- i find out things about myself i wasn't aware of. Hmm... alrighty then, talk later...

12-08-02

The perfect student has died, long live the procrastinator! This weekend I have done nothing productive. I have to read 4 chapters of "A Seperate Peace" and answer questions,math questions, a chemistry packet,  AP Euro chapter to read and questions to answer, as well as an essay for both fashion and weights (?! i know... ). Tests on Tuesday on German and Chemistry, and Wednesday on AP Euro... eugh. I've only finished math and weights essay...EEEE!!! It's kinna like that quote I heard from Shereen who heard it from Kristen, "Procrastination is like masturbation: it feels good until you realize you are screwing yourself".
Amen...

12-06-02
Wow.. 'tis been awhile, ja? For my school, i only have one comment:

Other than that, i am living the story of a tragically corrupt school system. I can't even elucidate because I'll throw a cow.

11-30-02

Well well well...we've now concluded FatFest 2002..anyone up for leftovers?

Later: go to http://www.torah.org/chanukah.html  to learn more about the Mitzvah! Virtual menorah available online as well.

Later still..: updated my artwork. Coming soon: fashion and homecoming pages... mwa...
 
 

11-29-02

Happy Chanakuh!

11-27-02

Ok, I've decided to update early =0) love it, ja? If you missed something out of last month's news, then check the archives. Well, happy Thanksgiving
y'all (read the sermon!) talk to you later.

Eh, I'm sick as a dog and exhausted. Zu meine honig, ich liebe du =0)
Megan, espera su de fiesta es bueno. ok... tired now, beddy bye...
 

11-23-02

Hey y'all, what's new? Not much over here... I'm estatic though, in a few aspects, one being that my friend Paki is coming to visit me =0)That makes me happy... more than most of y'all will ever know... Ashes is working on it's second CD, "Dust to Dust". Lyrics will be posted spurratically. The first two tracks are up right now... I'll probably gone for the next week or so, have lots of crud to do... so in the meantime, I leave you with a sermon...

For the record, I am not always a negative person. I love life, I love events, I love holidays. However, because of commercialization, exploitation, and propaganda, the original meanings of holidays have been killed. St. Patricks day, for example, was an Irish holiday used to celebrate the Irish Catholic saint who drove the snakes out of Ireland.
St. Valentines day ... or did you even recognize it with the word "Saint" in front of it?...was also made in homage to a Saint (obviously named Valentine). He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Interesting bit of history, yes? Valentine was then made the patron saint of lovers... but that's another sermon. So I digress: people miss the point of holidays. Yes they are celebrations for events that happened in the past, but my gripe is, who really knows Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving was celebrated in honor of the Native Americans who helped the lazy, confused, and starving "Pilgrims" survive not only their first winter, but many winters after that. These same people were later shot, scalped, and pushed onto reservations to later build casinos. How do we honor them? One day a year we stuff our faces and watch a football game. Thank you Cherokee, Blackfoot, and Souix. That is not Thanksgiving, that is Gluttons Day, when Christmas sales are starting, the population is going broke from buying early gifts, shoppers are growing hostile, diet supplements being bought in gross to keep the people from growing even moreso  obese, and it is all MADNESS! Now, the last thing I am saying is that there should be no thanksgiving. FAAAAAR from it. I think that if nothing else, family's should come together for one evening and be grateful that they're together, despite differences, and count their blessings. On the other hand, I think family's should do this more than once a year. Screw, individually, I do it every day. I am thankful that i have my parents, my grandparents, the whole family! My beautiful cousin Bridget, my Melissa and my Megan, and my love of my life Joshiez! I thank God for the life of Paki, the fashion show, the things in my life some people only dream of, like heating and a roof over my head, and a family to come home to. I am grateful I have friends like Sarah, Liz, Nicole, Anna, Kaitlyn, and a litany of other people by my side. I am thankful for Chrysalis, for the Internet, and my education. And as mathmatically "brilliant" as I am, I am THANKING GOD that I can not count high enough to count all of my blessings... So ladies and gentlemen, do not be one of 250 million Americans to celebrate Gluttons Day. Do not watch the Macy's parade, stuff yourself stupid with dead bird and grease, and then yell at a football game halfway across the country through a metal box... Have a Thanksgiving. We never know what we have until we've lost it, so be glad for what you have, for God's sake be glad for what you don't have, thank people who have made an impact on your life, thank whatever deity you believe in, thank your lucky stars if you must... and thank you for being who you are inside.