| Ya sure! You betcha! |
| You might be from Minnesota if... |
| you define summer as three months of bad sledding. your definition of a small town is one that only has one store. snow tires come standard on all cars. at least 50% of your relatives work on a dairy farm. you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week. you are proud that your state makes the national news so many times because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation. you know what cow-tipping is. you were delighted to get a snow shovel for your third birthday in April. There was enough snow to shovel, too! you learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike. "down South" means Iowa. traveling coast to coast means going from Stillwater to Ortonville. a brat is something you eat. you may hate Minnesota, you don't feel at home anywhere else. you actually miss Rudy Perpich. you have no trouble spelling Minneapolis. mushroom soup is a necessity in any kitchen and most commonly used in a hot dish. you know who HUMPH is. when you talk about "opener" you're talking about fishing or hunting, not for cans. you know where the Iron Range is. you are excited by the first snow but you're sick of it by April. you know the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. you used to think deer season is an official school holiday. you don't understand why people think Garrison Keilor is so funny. you know what the "mega-mall" is. the first time you saw GRUMPY OLD MEN, you thought it was a documentary. you can actually prounounce and spell Mille Lacs. Country Kitchen or Perkins is THE place to go after church. the snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do. a Friday night out is taking your girl shining deer. a "flat-lader" is anyone who lives outside Duluth. the Vikings are better than the Packers, no matter WHAT the standings are. you know what lutefisk and lefse are. everyone you know has a cabin. the trunk of your car serves as an extra deep-freeze. you wear shorts when it's 50 degrees in March but bundle up in August when it goes below 60 degrees. you can go to a fish-fry every Friday. at the end of June, you make your dash to Wisconsin to buy fireworks. you go to work in a snomobile suit in the morning and come home in a tee shirt. people from other states think Minnesota is part of Canada. your idea of seasons is Winter, Spring, Fall, and the Fourth of July. you know how to polka. your school loses half it's population during deer season. A trip out East is to Milwaukee. your full-service gas stations think "full service" means filling your tank, washing the windshield, checking the oil and being friendly to customers. you're a loyal Target shopper, or "Tar-zhay" as Minnesotans say. people make fun of your "accent".... What accent? your hometown buys a Zamboni when they need a bus. if you lived in "the cities" your class field trip was to Duluth, if you lived in Duluth, your trip was to the cities. people will schedule a wedding in January and not give a thought to the weather. someone in your school will put their tongue on a steel post during the winter. you remember going trick-or-treating in six inches of snow. in Duluth dads listen to KDAL or WEBC on the car radio. in the winter, there are seven empty cars running in any parking lot at any given time. your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new snow mobile. you consider Jell-O a highly versatile food. vacation means going to Valley Fair. your dad's suntan line stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead. formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans/skirt and a baseball cap. all your vacations are instate and "up nort." you think uf-da is a standard English phrase. stores don't have sacks, they have bags. you know mosquitos have landing lights. you have to go out of state to get a tan in August. you define swimming season as the last week of July. your Fourth of July picnic was moved indoors because of frost. you own an ice house, a pickup and a snowmobile. every sweatshirt you own is purple and gold. you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend. someone in your family owns one piece of clothing that says, "I'd rather be fishing." you need a second garage to store "your stuff." you need a down comforter in the summer. you take pride in the winter temps at International Falls (Rocky & Bullwinkle called it Frostbite Falls) you think there are two major seasons, Winter and road construction. you have eaten a "Cow Pie" at the fair, or have stepped in one. you believe the Vikings would have won four Super Bowls by now if they were still playing Metropolitan Stadium. you know Ole & Lena. you know what the "Dales" are. you know that "ice fishing" is. you've been to Fort Snelling. you can pronounce Mahtowa, Wayzata and Shakopee. you drive on the roads if it's raining or snowing even if the idiots all come out. you have more miles on your snowmobile than on your car. Lake Superior is the closest thing to an ocean that you have. you know people who have more fishing poles than teeth. people will wear hunting clothes to a social event. you own three spices: Salt, pepper and ketchup. church dinners consist of 20 hot dishes. local papers cover all the news on page 1 and the rest is filled with sports information. you feel warm and toasty at -10 degrees. the four seasons are: Winter, still Winter, not Winter, and almost Winter. you find -40 degrees a might chilly. you have ever taken your kids to school on the first day in a blizzard. you think white rice is exotic and wild rice is a hot dish. if the temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, you think it's summer. you design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over snow suits. the mosquitos have landing lights. you've ever been to a wedding reception in a bowling alley. you have ten favorite recipes for venison. Tru-Value is busier on any saturday than the toy stores at Christmas. driving is better in Winter because the potholes get filled. you need a second garage to store all your "stuff". you believe that REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat.. you have named your chain saw and you give it a pat on the back when you pass it. your snowblower gets stuck on the roof. you keep your snow tires on because it's not worth taking them off for a month. you laugh out loud every time yo see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire East Coast. you don't think it's strange for the state to pay a bounty for the school's mascot... the gopher. you've been to the Boundry Waters at some time in your life. you beam with pride when someone famous enters the Mayo Clinic. everytime you see moonlight on a lake you think of a dancing bear, and sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue water....." you actually "get" these jokes. |
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