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"How to Have Fun During Spring Break" |
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To start off the spring break fun correctly, the overstressed English teacher must first find an exceptionally cool person willing to loan him a metal detector, drive him to a good Civil War site with permission to hunt, and then spend the day following him around correcting his mistakes. The teacher looks something like this. |
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Next, the teacher must walk around in the woods all day, swinging the metal detector back and forth and hoping for a nice loud "whang" in his headphones, and when he does, he must dig up a plug a plug of earth, like this. |
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If his vision is clear, he will then spot the genuine Civil War artifact staring up at him and breathing fresh air for the first time in 136 years, and will pluck it up with joy and reflect on its amazing history, like this. |
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He will then continue swinging the metal detector around for the rest of the day, stopping intermittently with glee at each "whang" of the headphones, until a rainstorm forces him to make a mad dash for the nearest beat-up old shack in the woods, like this. |
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And that, dear students, is how to have fun during Spring Break! |
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Finally, a brief tribute to my heritage--photos of me at the gravesite of my great-great grandfather, Henry Johnson, of Company G, 57th North Carolina Regt., buried in the Old City Cemetary in Lynchburg, Virginia. He fought in the Confederate victory at Fredericksburg, then died of pneumonia contracted while in camp during the winter of 1863. |
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