Another rant...

Microsoft; which of the following do you most associate with the richest and most powerful company in the world:
a) A well-run and competent organisation.
b) A force for good in an otherwise bleak and hopeless world.
c) A collection of screw-ups who are more incompetent than a bulldozer driver with no arms or legs.

The answer, oddly enough, is the letter at the start of the sentence "Crappiest company in the history of exploitation"

How have I come to this conclusion?
Well aware (for once) of the relative short-coming of Appleworks (only to be expected from an all-in-one consumer program, and not at all bad considering it came free with my computer) I persuaded my mother to invest in the student licence for Microsoft Office 2001 for Macintosh. To obtain the full version, a form had to be faxed to Micro$oft, and the CD would be posted within 30 days.

Imagine my excitement and joy upon finding an envelope on my doorstep with a CD in it.
Imagine my shock, anger and resentment when the CD turned out to be Office 2000 Professional for Windose.

"But Sam, you dopey twit," you're thinking, "What would you expect?"
Well, on the form faxed so efficiently by my good self, there were two boxes. "IMPORTANT", it said. "Tick the box to show whether you want Office 2000 (PC) or Office 2001 (Mac)"

"Hah!" I thought to myself, as I confidently ticked the 2001 box. "No one would be so stupid as to tick the wrong box."

IDIOTS! USELESS AND BRAINDEAD MORONS! With most of the wealth of the Western World, you would have thought they could train their monkeys to do a simple job like that without cocking up! I appreciate that I am virtually the only person who would want to buy 2001 for the Mac, but there's no reason to rub it in!

So now what? There is no contact number or address on either the envelope, CD, CD box, or the original packaging of the form. I looked in the Yellow Pages, and was rewarded by a Microsoft customer services number. I rang this number, at the modest hour of half past 5, and was, inevitably, told by a machine that "Microsoft is closed" What? All of it? It seems that the entire multinational company Microsoft, the richest man in the world at its head and the largest profits of any organisation, including a number of small countries, clocks off before 5:30 on a Tuesday afternoon. This is especially odd because a company which sells products which are a) relied upon 24 hours a day by the entire planet and b) frequently and fundamentally flawed would operate a half-decent customer services line.

Apparently not.

Sam "I Hate Bill Gates And Everything He Stands For" Ward