Announce a public holiday

1. Think of an appropriate title, for instance, “Close the Lav Seat After Going Day”, or “National Wash Behind Your Ears Day”. Inventing religious holidays is always a good tactic - “St. Bartle Frere Day”, for example. This sort of thing goes down well with the Catholic Church.

2. Check that your day hasn’t already been declared. Even the most obscure subjects have already been given days, for example, “National Fish and Chips Day”, and “National Donuts Day”.

3. Petition Parliament. This task will be made easier if you can somehow make your day politically correct, for example, “National Be Nice To All Ethnic, Religious Or Social Minorities Day”, or “National Be Unpleasant To Fox hunter Day”, etc. By the same vain, a day such as “National Revere Tony Blair As A God” will have more chance of success than “National Laugh At The Current Administration Day”. Come to think of it, this happens most days, and an exclusive holiday is hardly necessary.

4. That’s it.