Honor, Chivalry and the Art of Speech
in Everyday [SCA] Life
by Ines Alfón
What is honor and chivalry? When I have heard it discussed,
it seems to always be in connection with our fighters or the act of a gentleman
toward a lady "in distress", like offering a cloak. Is this all there
is to chivalry? Is it only for fighters or for gentlemen on a one-to-one basis?
I believe honor and chivalry cover everything from life's greatest sacrifices
to the simple, everyday manners we should expect from everyone we meet.
When you are at a conference and a speaker is at the podium,
or a teacher is speaking, it is chivalrous to let them speak. Of course, you
are interested in what they have to say; you [usually] paid for the privilege
of hearing them speak. What happens if what they talk about is of no interest
to you? At the least, you wait and listen anyway. At worst, you quietly leave,
hoping to cause as little disturbance as possible. At an event, do we not pay
for the privilege of hearing people speak? Collaterally, we do. We pay for the
privilege of living a life from the Middle Ages as close as we can, or want. We
pay for the privilege of seeing people in beautiful clothes, of learning old
ways of doing things, of watching people fight or fighting ourselves, of
congratulating and acknowledging people for what they do best. Why, then, do we
not let them do it?
More and more, I have seen people talk over their King and
Queen, or talk over their Baron and Baroness, or Seneschal. "Pray
attend!" seems to be, "Please, continue with your conversations,
because this was not important enough to ask for a moment of your time."
Simple honor and chivalry means to me, waiting those few moments before
continuing the conversation, even if you decide the statement or speech has
nothing to do with you. If you don't want to hear it, please, take your
conversation elsewhere. There are people who probably cannot hear it because of
your scintillating voice. Some of it may be acoustics, some of it the speaker
not projecting well enough. However, does that not mean that even more effort
should be brought to listening?
Competitions are also an important part of our SCA Life, be
they tournaments, melees, bardics, or Arts and Sciences. Fighters, artisans and
voice and musical competitors are there for you. They fight, they create, they
speak, they sing, they play for the audience. If it were only for their own
gratification, they would not need to go to events. These are their hearts they
share. Their gift is often overlooked, though, lost in the importance of your
current embroidery project, or what some gentleman or lady said or did earlier
in the day.
Are there other places where we as a Society can improve our
everyday courtesy? In at least one Kingdom, flash photography and smoking in
the main portion of an event are against Kingdom law. Asking permission before
recording anything is not only a courtesy, but the lack of such can lead to
some very hard feelings on the part of the people who are being recorded.
Performances and original works may not have an official copyright on them, but
again are the heart of the performers and this theft of their "children",
especially without their knowledge, can be very hurtful. At the many events I
have attended, I have enjoyed the courtesy of being asked if I minded is
someone smoked. I am honored to know such chivalrous people.
Honor and chivalry start with basic, everyday manners. I
paid for the privilege of being in a place where this is an important aspect of
life, and so did you. We all should help with the gift of our courtesy.
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