2. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work!

3. You read my mind boy. You've got the shinning!

4. Thank you, come again. Smithers, release the hounds.

5. I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." 

6. Bart, stop pestering Satan!

7. The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel WORSE, and making a few bucks while you're at it.

8. Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy, but I'm kind of in a tizzy. My son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables.

9. The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.

10. We've been doing a lot of upper body work on Bart. Today let's pound his kidneys

11. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers

12. Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.

13. Be careful when we capture him! We cannot claim the reward unless we have 51% of the carcass

14. Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what?

15. This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

16. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

17. Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling.

18. Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!

19. This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story

20. That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore, it is worth one hundred and fifty dollars

21. Oh, I have had it...I have had it with this school, Skinner. The low test scores. Class after class of ugly, ugly children.

22. This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now, let us say the Lord's Prayer forty times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.

23. Don't blame me! It's the percadan. If you ask me, that stuff rotts your brain...And now a word from our new sponsor...Percadan, Oh CRAP!!

24. Dear Mr. President: there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.

25. All I have are these chewable Prozac for kids. Take your pick: Manic Depressive mouse or the Bluebird of unhappiness.

26. Check out the rack on the blonde in the fourth row!

27. A town with money is a lot like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.

28. Don't worry. Most of you will never fall in love, and marry out of fear of dying alone.

29. I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left!

30. Well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology, n'gee, that Homer Simpson has stumbled into.... the third dimension.

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