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She sits staring at the opposite wall. Hair scraped back into a ponytail. Hands folded neatly in her lap, knees tucked underneath her body.
�Are you there? You�re two hours late for your shift and I want to know why�.Catherine��
She sits staring at the opposite wall. Hair scraped back into a ponytail. Hands folded neatly in her lap, knees tucked underneath her body. You don�t want to know Gil. She thinks.
�If you are sick you could at least have had the decency to phone in. And don�t think I don�t know why you�re sick, if you are sick that is� That�s what you get when you mix a night off with a trendy new bar and a big fat pay package. I thought you might have been more sensible though, considering you were supposed to be at work tonight. Hangovers don�t go well with the dead.�
She sits staring at the opposite wall. Hair scraped back into a ponytail. Hands folded neatly in her lap, knees tucked underneath her body. I should have been more sensible. I�m sorry Gris. I�m so sorry.
�Well, you�d better have a good reason for your absence Cath. Call me when you get this and tell me what the deal is.� The answer machine whirred, beeped and then died.
She sits staring at the opposite wall. Hair scraped back into a ponytail. Hands folded neatly in her lap, knees tucked underneath her body. Please don�t go�
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An hour later Grissom looked up from his desk to see a figure filling his doorway.
�Where the hell have you been?� he removed his glasses and placed them on a pile of papers.
�Gris�� she felt as if all words had been obliterated from her memory.
�Are you ok Catherine?� he leaned forward, concerned, noticing the dark circles beneath her eyes. Her eyes, usually blue pools of hope; now a mere shadow of grey.
Hold me Gris, please hold me. My best friend, my rock, please hold me.
�Yes sorry. I�m sorry I�m late Gris. I had a terrible migraine, I must have fallen asleep or something.�
Liar.
�Are you sure you�re ok? You look really pale.� He stood up and circled the desk towards her.
She took steps backwards towards the exit, mumbling more apologies.
get away from me Grissom
�Catherine. Hey Catherine, look at me. What�s wrong?� He was standing in front of her.
get away from me.
�God damnit! I�m fine Gil. Now stop babying me and give me a fucking case to work on will you?� She was trembling in front of him as her voice rose, never meeting his eyes.
I�m sorry, I�m sorry, I�m sorry.
�Well then. I�ll see what I�ve got for you.� He retreated back to the safety of his desk, unwilling to push her any further.
They didn�t speak another word as he passed her a file and she turned quickly on her heel, all the time feeling his eyes probing her soul for answers.
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��and then he comes out of this door here�turns to her, takes the gun out of his back pocket� all the while she�s tied to the bed, like so� she�s begging him to stop� Catherine are you listening?� Sara stopped her demonstration and stared at her silent partner.
�Hello? Earth calling Catherine��
she�s begging him to stop�
�Catherine, are you sure you�re ok?� Sara rested her hands on her hips. �You want to take five?�
she�s begging him�
�hmmm?� Catherine looked up from her position on the bench.
�I said I could use a coffee, you want one?�
Catherine shook her head. �No thanks.�
Sara left the room and Catherine exhaled deeply. Her whole body felt heavy, like she would be pulled to the ground by gravity at any moment.
go on, just fall. just let go.
When Sara returned, steaming Styrofoam in one hand, the room was empty.
She checked Grissom�s office, but found him alone; almost. A big hairy tarantula was walking lazily up his arm as he made noises similar to those a baby makes.
�When you�ve stopped cooing with the arachnid, Spider man, I�d like a word?�
�So beautiful.�
�I know I am but that�s not what I�m here for.�
He looked at her over his glasses. �I was talking to Sheila.�
She stifled a giggle.
�Back to what I came for. What�s up with Catherine tonight? She�s like totally spaced out, I don�t think she�s listened to a word I�ve said and I�ve only gotten two words out of her all night.� She dropped into the chair opposite him and glanced around at the jars and jars of bugs.
�I dunno Sara, I wish I knew but she wouldn�t talk to me. Where is she now? I�ll try again.�
He stood, tidying the stack of papers that were cluttering his desk.
�You tell me, she�s gone. I went for coffee, she disappeared. Anyway I�ve got dead people trying to tell me something so, I�ll catch you later.� She stood and left.
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I need to get out. So many people. So many faces. Looking at me. Laughing at me. They know. They know. Oh God. I need to get out.
She�s frantic, searching the never ending corridor for an exit. Suddenly, a figure blocks her path and she crashes into him.
she�s begging him to stop�
His face, don�t look!
�Get off me!� she screams, causing bodies to appear from offices.
His hands, get him away from me!
She struggles against him as he holds her shoulders, she pushes him hard until he lands on the floor and then she covers her mouth with her trembling hands. Warrick looks up at her, confused. He starts to get up, says something but she can�t hear for the screams in her head.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
She turns and runs, not looking at the many faces staring in her direction.
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Grissom knocked lightly on the door. He heard the soft padding of feet and smiled as Lindsey answered, dressed in the green grasshopper pyjamas he had bought her last birthday.
�Uncle Gris, I�m so glad you�re here.�
�What�s wrong? Is she here?� He stepped inside and saw her on the couch.
She lay as still as one of his dead bodies, her strawberry blonde hair framing her pale face.
He knelt down beside her and took her hand. She did not respond, only stared at the opposite wall. She didn�t acknowledge him when he leaned sideways into her line of vision, she didn�t blink. It looked as if she was in a trance, or worse, dead. He knew she wasn�t, he could see her chest rise and fall gently.
Lindsey stood for awhile and then said goodnight, rubbing her eyes before retreating to her bed.
�Cath, honey. I really need you to talk to me. I can�t help you unless you tell me the problem.�
Silence.
�How long have we been best friends? Surely you can talk to me, just look at me. Can you do that? Look at me and let me know you�re alive in there.� He sighed in desperation. She looked hollow, defeated and it pained him not knowing why.
I�m sorry. I�m sorry. I�m sorry.
He hadn�t seen her like this since the last time Eddie had done her over, it was the worst she had suffered. She had practically crawled into Gil�s apartment and then collapsed on the floor, staring blankly at the wall until the ambulance arrived.
�I�m going to sit you up ok?� He reached down and put his hands underneath her arms, ready to lift her.
She started screaming and clawing at the air, fighting in an invisible battle.
He let go and took a step back. �Catherine it�s ok! It�s me, Gil. Hey, calm down!�
Get him away from me! His face� make him stop!
�Catherine��
His hands�make him stop, please make him stop.
�Catherine it�s ok, I promise you�re ok��
�NOOOO! Don�t touch me you bastard!� She yelled, her face turning red as her body seemed to convulse for a second.
His hands, he�s hurting me, he�s hurting me so badly� no please, don�t�
She leant over the side of the sofa and vomited, hot sticky tears burning her cheeks as her fragile body remembered the pain.
Grissom knelt beside her again, tears welling in his eyes. He wanted so badly to hold her in his arms but he dared not.
She turned silent again, burying her face in her hands. She was crying, softly this time, her body trembling.
He risked a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away, meeting his eyes for the first time that night. And that�s when her walls crashed down. She fell into his arms, broken; her whole body shaking from violent sobs.
He held her for a very long time.
Tell him the truth. Show him. No more lies.
She pulled away slowly, wiping her nose and eyes with her sleeve. Without saying a word she stood and stripped to her underwear, not meeting his gaze; too ashamed.
He stared in disbelief at the angry purple clouds on her delicate pale skin, with his eyes he traced the deep gash which was almost hidden by her bra, counted the stitches in her right breast. She was crying softly, so very softly, like a child. He moved towards her to hold her, but she shook her head and stepped back slightly.
He nodded and wiped the tears from behind his glasses. Reluctantly he lowered his eyes and winced as he was greeted by small round bruises on her inner thighs. Finger marks. Caused by an immense amount of pressure which meant only one thing.
He looked back up and this time she met his eyes. She must have known what he was thinking because she nodded, a lone sob escaping her throat.
She said it so very quietly that he almost didn�t hear. �I was raped.�
End of part 1 | Part 2
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