movies

i'm gonna start reviewing movies... yay! each time i see a movie i'll pop a review and rating on this page to let everyone know what i think. i'm seeing so many at the moment. i'm also going to be putting some reviews of films that have been around for ages, just in case anyone hasn't seen them yet and wants an opinion. Please enjoy....

BY THE WAY THERE ARE ARROWS AT THE TOP OF EACH PAGE TO NAVIGATE THROUGH THE REVIEWS

Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town

The best way to describe this movie is "late 80's"! You need to have a lot of patience if you want to watch it. The film features the "Cycle Sluts," a group of rebellious women who ride motorcycles from town to town wreaking havoc. These girls swear, spit and spray graffiti. Now enter the towns high mortality rate, which causes the local undertaker to do a little project in bringing the dead back to life, and storing the bodies 5 miles outside of the small town. Put two and two together, and you've got Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town. The dialogue is corny, the film is most certainly low-budget, but if you're up for a laugh then watch it. If you want to be scared, don't. (Unless dwarves scare you, that is... I'll say no more!)

The Matrix Reloaded

You would think that after a brain-basher like The Matrix, they couldn't make a more confusing film, but Reloaded achieves that with flying colours. The sequel to the smash-hit flick introduces systems, programs and the architect, and poor Neo is in the One, which means everything comes down to him (await more confused frowns from Keanu, although he seems to grasp onto it a lot quicker than the audience.) However, we also see the return of Agent Smith, which sparks many more fight scenes between him and Neo, with some stunning combat moves and special effects. This film glitters with action, but unfortunately the fight scenes to tend to drag out a little too long, and there are countless amounts of new characters to warm to. If you've played the game, Enter The Matrix, watching this film will make sense of the FMV's, and it does seem that those who have played the game find this film just that little more gripping. However, I have given it 4 stars. If you enjoyed The Matrix, Reloaded will not disappoint. Oh, and one more thing - DO NOT watch this film if you hate the words "To Be Continued..." ;-)

Eight Legged Freaks

Afraid of spiders? Then watch Eight Legged Freaks. Niftily named after a line from the ever-loveable David Arquette, this film is so unrealistic and spoofy that you won't be afraid after the first 20 minutes. (Of course this does mean if you have severe arachnaphobia you shouldn't watch the first portion of the film, as the spiders are very much normal size.) To sum up, "over-sized arachnids overtake town and attempt to eat everyone, including ostriches." This flick is absolutely full of laughs, and if you like films like Scary Movie and Evolution, you will definitely like this. Unfortunately, there tends to be a lot of pointless sub-plots that only add to the jokes, but we get a shining performance from the hilarious Doug E. Doug, who plays a local radio DJ fascinated with aliens. One tip - if you don't like spiders, then don't watch this film in a dark room with popcorn, because your eyes will play tricks on you and the popcorn will remain uneaten, (unlike the people in the film!)

Final Destination 2

If you liked Final Destination, you'll absolutely adore this film. There aren't many sequels I can say are better than the first, but Final Destination 2 hits the nail right on the head. The movie features some of the best death scenes I have ever seen, with creative props such as an elevator and a barb-wire fence. The theory of Death's design takes an unusual twist and the second film is very cleverly tied with the first, with Clear still playing a major part. Do not get attached to any of the characters. I won't tell you who dies, but a lot of people do. A lot. Edge-of-the-seat action and creative deaths, you will be hooked from beginning to end. A fantastic movie!

Sliding Doors

A British flick featuring our very own Gwyneth Paltrow. The film has a very clever structure, and shows how Helen's (Paltrow) life would be different if she hadn't missed the doors on a London underground train. You'll need to keep your wits about you or you'll lose track of what's going on, but the relationship issues the characters go through are worthy of Sunset Beach. The film isn't very high budget, but the dialogue is smooth as caramel and the acting top-notch, (although Jeanne Tripplehorn's clashing accent does start to irritate.) If you're up for something emotional, give it a chance, but don't expect any in-yer-face explosions or anything - this film is 100% chick-flick!

X-Men

Take an old comic strip, vamp it up and add fantastic special effects. X-Men has something for everyone. It's pretty much a Sci-Fi film, but intertwined are personal issues, romance and compassion, plus well-written, snappy dialogue. Patrick Stewart's performance gleams with this - his character Professor Charles Xavier is on of those superior types who understands everyone and always has the answers, like Morpheus from The Matrix. The mutants' powers or 'gifts' as they're referred to, open up a gold mine of possibilities for the SFX workers on the film - watch out for Ian McKellen (who plays Xavier's arch-enemy, Magneto) building himself a path over a very high drop. Delicious. Unfortunately, the movie is very comic-book, which means it ain't suitable for people who hate comics, and in my opinion Anna Paquin's performance could be better. Plus the plot of the movie does get a little far-fetched, but hey, what can you expect from a film based on a comic-book? Give it a chance, you'll probably enjoy it.